Here's another lesson learned. The terrible twos are no easier the second time around. I can think of two reasons why. Reason #1 is because we are dealing with a completely different child. Reason #2, and probably the most important reason, is that we never mastered it the first time. We just got through it because as with any stage we realized if you wait long enough "this too shall pass".
You probably wonder what are these terrible twos that we are just now speaking of seeing as how Coben has been two for 10 months now. It's all coming back to us now. It wasn't the twos that were so bad for us, it was the threes. We have all kinds of names for the threes but this is a family blog so we won't go there. So, Coben is now approaching those %$&! threes and he has been in rare form. Dinner time has become the battle of the wills. Nothing is right. Everything that was okay before is suddenly not okay. And he isn't afraid to speak, I mean whiiiiiiiine, his mind about it. We have a rule, if you don't eat then you don't get anything else. So, we eventually throw in the towel and resign to the fact that he is not going to eat and we hold firm on the no dessert rule but nevertheless we not only get to endure the dinner time meltdown but the post dinner time I demand to have something else meltdown. Our mantra is "hold firm, consistency pays off" but what is really running through our heads is, "Come ON! For the love of sanity, KNOCK. IT. OFF!" But we do hold firm so this too shall pass, right?
We have been very lucky to have inherited hand-me-downs from a friend. Not only do we get hand-me-downs but hand-me-downs times twos since they have twins. Coben has a drawer-full of blue jeans. Maybe 15 pairs. He won't wear blue jeans. He will only wear sweat pants these days of which he has only a couple pairs. It's very hard to even think about buying more when there are FIFTEEN pairs of jeans sitting in the second drawer of his dresser growing cobwebs. So, he has to have his sweatpants and typically only his "O-dabba-dabba" (Yo Gabba Gabba) unders and lately this Christmas shirt that he started wearing frequently before Thanksgiving (two days in a row at one point, unwashed, GASP!).
One day he refused to wear any shirt at all. When a toddler gets into a certain mindset there's a series of events that follow. Let me break it down. It usually starts with a very routine thing like in this situation putting on a shirt to go to school. But for some reason (usually when you are running late) the toddler is vehemently against this part of the routine on this particular day for no apparent reason. Barring sleep deprivation or hunger, there is almost always some underlying reason for the toddler meltdown that you are not privvy to and that he is in no shape to share. You only know something is wrong because you start to put on the shirt and he backarches, turns to jello, refuses to stand-up and starts screaming and flailing. And this all happens in the course of one half of a second. So you are standing there completely dumbfounded holding the shirt and wondering WTF (Why the Face, right?) happened! So now you lodge into your parenting pattern that usually starts out strong and quickly weakens. So first it's the empathetic approach which includes validating those little feelings and playing guessing games "ohhhh, something is wrong. You don't like the shirt?" "You want a different shirt?" "Does the shirt bother you?" Almost always this is met by zero response and louder wails. At this point even if you DO guess right they won't give you the satisfaction because they are already too far gone to come back. Then come the negotations, "If you put the shirt on you can have a sticker for getting dressed" or "If you put your shirt on you won't have to have breakfast in the car" which are basically meaningless as there is still too much wailing, whining and body throwing going on so it evolves into empty threats, "If you don't put your shirt on you'll have to stay home by yourself because mom and dad have to go to work", or "if you don't put your shirt on you're going to freeze and catch a cold (I know, you don't catch a cold from the weather but you get desperate) and then if all else fails the wrestling match. And the wrestling match gets you NOWHERE because if you can manage to get the shirt around the neck and the arms in the sleeves they will pull it off immediately after you wrestle in on. So on this particular morning I'm walking out the door fifteen minutes late for work because of all the tag-teaming with Rob to try to get Coben dressed. Coben is standing at the door shirtless and crying and I tell Rob. "Just send him to school without a shirt!" And I meant it. I didn't care that it was cold and I didn't care if the school thought we sucked as parents. At that moment Rob and I were defeated. But finally there came a moment a little while after I left where the switch flipped, calm was restored and Coben was able to finally discuss the shirt issue (which turned out to be that he didn't like the shirt that Rob picked out and wanted the Christmas shirt).
And these patterns continue through bedtime. He wants footie jams. I try to talk him out of footie jams but there is no talking him out of footie jams. So we put on footie jams and I tuck him into bed. Then I go to sit down and try to relax and I'll hear "Moooooom!" the moment my butt hits the cushion. I already know. I know that I am being called back in to take off the footie jams because they are too hot. But we will do this every.single.night. There is no reasoning with Coben. "Coben, you always get too hot in the footie jams why don't we try one of these other pairs." "Noooooo. I want the dino footie jams!!" And I know. I know that I could stand firm and refuse to let him wear the footie jams but I also know deep down that if it's not the footie jams it WILL be something else. So in my head I think of the footie jams as the potential lesser of all evils.
So right now the little guy is in bed. He is laying on the bare plastic mattress because his sheets are being washed and I didn't get them in the dryer before bed because of laundry back-up. No other sheets would do. I pulled 3 different sheets out of the closet and each suggestion just seemed to provoke a bigger emotinal response. So I offered to put the "snuggie blanket"down on the mattress and fold it over him. OUT OF THE QUESTION. So there he lays. On a cold plastic mattress. Once his sheets are dry I will sneak in after he is asleep and make some adjustments. And I'll look at him and wonder how that sweet little boy could possibly rage so big. And I'll decide that it's just not possible. No matter how rough the day has been, watching a sleeping child is a lot like childbirth. You forget as soon as it is over.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
It's coming!
It's heating up around the Keenan house. The Christmas frenzy has begun! Saturday morning cartoons are now plastered even more-so with toy commercials. "I want that!" "I want that!" I have a rule that they have to tell me what it is and what it does before they can put it on their list. It's hilarious to watch them (Cady) try to actually figure out in a hurry what it actually is and does before the commercial is over. Half the time she has no clue but she knows that she must have it. I can't help but smile to hear Coben ask Cady, "Cady . You buy me dat?" He doesn't get the concept of Santa yet but he does have two year old imaginary thinking that his sister's pockets are lined with gold and she's just waiting to spend it all on him.
So, what is Santa going to get this year? Costco special which is a giant wooden dollhouse. And for Coben it's a Black and Decker tool bench. Okay, maybe they're not the only ones already in the spirit since I just so happen to be blogging about it and it's not even Thanksgiving yet.
Speaking of. We are having Thanksgiving at the Shaw's again this year. I have no idea what we would do without them. Gretchen and I are going to cook together while the kids run wild and the honeys watch "the game". Sounds pretty near perfect to me.
So, what is Santa going to get this year? Costco special which is a giant wooden dollhouse. And for Coben it's a Black and Decker tool bench. Okay, maybe they're not the only ones already in the spirit since I just so happen to be blogging about it and it's not even Thanksgiving yet.
Speaking of. We are having Thanksgiving at the Shaw's again this year. I have no idea what we would do without them. Gretchen and I are going to cook together while the kids run wild and the honeys watch "the game". Sounds pretty near perfect to me.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
The Awakening
It's 2 a.m. and I am awakened by the sound of a door slowly creaking open and then being forcefully shut. I hear loud footsteps coming down the hallway, stomp, stomp, stomp, Stomp. The bedroom door flies open and I open my eyes to see all of three foot something standing in my doorway with the hallway light creating a sillhouette of wild hair and an armful of lovies. I groan and roll over. But still he appears by my bedside. "Coben, it's not morning. Come cuddle when the sun comes up." His response is to start throwing objects up on the bed one by one. This time it's Buddy, Long Dog and Swiper and three blankets. Some of us don't function well at 2 a.m. so I'm in awe that he can manage to not only locate all of these objects in the dark but to make the long toddle down the hallway without losing a single friend. I'm now buried with blankets and lovies but I can hear him pulling out the under the bed rollaway storage containers to create a step stool and then hoisting himself up onto the foot of the King Sized mattress and start making his way to the top. He throws a few elbows and snuggles in between his Dad and I. I start to protest but he wraps his arms around my neck and whispers, "Hi mom. I missed you. I love you". And I surrended to the bittersweet realization that these moments don't last forever. Within moments we are all asleep again.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Word
Picked up Cady from school and as she barely made it into the car before bursting out with the exciting news that today she had "Jimmy cracked corns" today. I didn't laugh. But I wanted to. She was referring to Candy Corns.
Coben told me that he is going to try Jicama one day at school and that he had gouda cheese the other day. He retains the craziest things but then announced he wanted wordels for dinner. What? Wordels. You want what? WORDELS!! Oh, noodles? Is that what you want? Yes, wordels. Coben, try saying N-n-n-noodles. N-n-n-Wordels! At least he tried.
Coben told me that he is going to try Jicama one day at school and that he had gouda cheese the other day. He retains the craziest things but then announced he wanted wordels for dinner. What? Wordels. You want what? WORDELS!! Oh, noodles? Is that what you want? Yes, wordels. Coben, try saying N-n-n-noodles. N-n-n-Wordels! At least he tried.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Cady-isms
As promised here are the Cady-isms that I have been saving up over the summer.
Presented in quiz format:
What is the real word or term behind the Cady-made word/term?
Pixie Pins or Moxie Pins.
Jigglies
Woodjie
Pimples
Crunchy Lips
Crack the Light
Fur
House Air
Butt Cheek of Penis
Kick
Batter Spoon
Totaller Truck
And even Coben has one. But his is related to speech.
Oopers
He has this Brick-like (reference The Middle) way of adding S's to the end of words since he leaves them off of the beginning of words. So, we'll hear him saying, "I did a somersault in the grass-s-s-s" essentially turning one syllable words into three syllable words.
Okay. So how many did you get right???
Pixie Pins. Also called Moxie Pins. Bobby Pins
Jigglies The bottom of your pants if they jiggle. So jeans have jigglies but leggings do not.
Woodjie Wedgie
Pimples Nipples
Crunchy Lips Chapped Lips
Crack the Light Turn the light down
Fur Crayon Shavings
House Air Room Temperature
Butt Cheek of Penis Testicles (something we talk waaaay too much about IMO)
Kick Ken doll
Batter Spoon Spatula
Totaller Truck Tow Truck
Oopers Slippers
Presented in quiz format:
What is the real word or term behind the Cady-made word/term?
Pixie Pins or Moxie Pins.
Jigglies
Woodjie
Pimples
Crunchy Lips
Crack the Light
Fur
House Air
Butt Cheek of Penis
Kick
Batter Spoon
Totaller Truck
And even Coben has one. But his is related to speech.
Oopers
He has this Brick-like (reference The Middle) way of adding S's to the end of words since he leaves them off of the beginning of words. So, we'll hear him saying, "I did a somersault in the grass-s-s-s" essentially turning one syllable words into three syllable words.
Okay. So how many did you get right???
Pixie Pins. Also called Moxie Pins. Bobby Pins
Jigglies The bottom of your pants if they jiggle. So jeans have jigglies but leggings do not.
Woodjie Wedgie
Pimples Nipples
Crunchy Lips Chapped Lips
Crack the Light Turn the light down
Fur Crayon Shavings
House Air Room Temperature
Butt Cheek of Penis Testicles (something we talk waaaay too much about IMO)
Kick Ken doll
Batter Spoon Spatula
Totaller Truck Tow Truck
Oopers Slippers
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
And there went the summer
It's really hard to write a blog when you realize that so much time has passed. I thought about it all summer and yet I had nothing to give. It's not that the kids weren't there typical cute selves, it's just that the more time that passed the more pressure I felt. And the more pressure that I felt (self-imposed) the more it felt like work.
I've been keeping little Cady-isms on the fridge at home this whole time. I'll be sure to post those. Not today though. For now I felt like I needed to strike while the iron was lukewarm.
To pick up from May. Cady graduated from preschool. Coben was glad to be done with childcare. Even if it was only two days a week it was not his favorite place.
The summer. It whizzed by. This was not helped by my persistent anxiety about going back to work and having NOTHING in place from child care to Cady's school and the kids fought like crazy. As you all know we managed to slip in a surprise trip to Disneyland. Lesson learned, do NOT try to surprise a child who is overtired and gravitates toward the predictable. Nevertheless it was a magical trip. We were on the go pretty much from sun-up until well after sundown the entire trip. We visited the beach with the big waves. Cady was a huge fan and Coben not so much. I suppose when the waves are about four times your size it takes on a different feel.
I won't go into the school fiasco in it's entirety but sit back because even if I fast-forward to August it's long. School "choice" has no meaning when your choices have way more demand than the school can meet. At the end of July we got a call from our neighborhood school (where Cady attended 3 yr old preschool) and they had a full-time spot for her with Ms. X(Ms. WHO? I had requested the other teacher who I know is phenomenal but was told they couldn't accommodate requests). So I did what any reasonable parent would do who is faced with having to make a quick decision without getting to meet the teacher. I pulled up her facebook profile. And I don't know, she didn't look like a Kindergarten teacher but what can you really tell by a picture. So I made an appointment with the principal and went in and spoke to her. I explained what Cady's needs were and when I pressed the principal on what the assigned teacher was like her response was, "she did a nice job for us last year". NICE???? How about, "she's great! you'll love her!" or "she's very good at what she does." When pressed further she elaborated, "I think that things will be better for her this year. She had some rough kids last year and came on mid-year?" So I ask, "came on mid-year?" and I'm told that the other teacher resigned suddenly. Okay. STRIKE.
So, I ask about art. Art REALLY engages Cady. She gets absorbed in it and is able to tune everything out around her. I was told they don't have an art teacher and haven't had one. BUT, last year they were able to get a volunteer for six weeks. Six whole weeks huh? So I walked home feeling that it just wasn't a good fit. And I was having a hard time with it because I have always had a "rah rah neighborhood school" mentality. And I'm the first one to say that your neighborhood school is what you make of it. Get involved. Yadda yadda. That day I had a complete and total shift in my thinking. And so we accepted at Kunsmiller. On a side note, a friend of mine has her child in Kindergarten at our neighborhood school and says, "That Ms. X scares me. She's the type that takes the fun out of learning. If my child had gotten her as a teacher I think he would probably need psychotherapy." Score one for facebook!
So here we go. I go to register for Kunsmiller and instantly love Cady's teacher. She's young and energetic and has a great philosophy. She's a great communicator and has her bachelor's in music and her master's in early childhood. Great combo. Kunsmiller offers arts classes every day. Cady will have visual art, dance, theater and dance throughout the year in addition to the regular pull-outs like library, PE and technology. And it's a K-12 so she could potentially stay there. So, day one was a huge success. Ms Shaeffer is a big hugger and had colored playdough and Cady bonded with her almost immediately. But that very same day we get a call from the school up the road that was our first choice. It has a fantastic educational philosophy and has been going strong for 30 years. It was an agonizing decision but we switched. And then regretted it. The teacher didn't seem very communicative and three days after Cady started threw her hands up and said, "I don't know what to do" in response to not being able to get Cady to go to the cafeteria for lunch or the playground afterwards. It just didn't *feel* right. Not to mention that Cady had been pining away for Ms. Schaeffer every single day. "Can I go back to Ms. Schaeffer's class now?" And so, Monday morning I took time off of work and begged our way back into Kunsmiller. Cady is a Kunsmiller Dragon and we stand by that choice. It was a long process but maybe just what we needed to do to feel good about her being in the right place.
Coben LOVES his child care center. He has a little boy crush on one of his teachers, Ms. Gina and gets a little giddy when he says her name. He has made lots of good friends and is happy to go everyday. He has not shed one single tear and now he finally tells us that he didn't like the place he went to last year (mommy gut was right). His happiness has made going back to work much much easier. Still addicted to my hair. He still strokes it and twirls it and nearly makes me bald when he is nervous. The other day I was putting him in the car seat after school and he even asked, "mommy, I need to touch your hair".
Cady and Coben together. At their best they are so much fun. Their interactions are priceless and you can see the pure love. At their worst they are poking, yelling, hitting and tormenting each other in any way they see possible. It's not much different than what I went through with my siblings but let me tell you being on the non-parental side of it is MUCH easier to endure.
I think we are finding our groove. We might even be, dare I say, FUNCTIONING!?
And with this out of the way I hope to return to some shorter and fluffier blog entries.
I've been keeping little Cady-isms on the fridge at home this whole time. I'll be sure to post those. Not today though. For now I felt like I needed to strike while the iron was lukewarm.
To pick up from May. Cady graduated from preschool. Coben was glad to be done with childcare. Even if it was only two days a week it was not his favorite place.
The summer. It whizzed by. This was not helped by my persistent anxiety about going back to work and having NOTHING in place from child care to Cady's school and the kids fought like crazy. As you all know we managed to slip in a surprise trip to Disneyland. Lesson learned, do NOT try to surprise a child who is overtired and gravitates toward the predictable. Nevertheless it was a magical trip. We were on the go pretty much from sun-up until well after sundown the entire trip. We visited the beach with the big waves. Cady was a huge fan and Coben not so much. I suppose when the waves are about four times your size it takes on a different feel.
I won't go into the school fiasco in it's entirety but sit back because even if I fast-forward to August it's long. School "choice" has no meaning when your choices have way more demand than the school can meet. At the end of July we got a call from our neighborhood school (where Cady attended 3 yr old preschool) and they had a full-time spot for her with Ms. X(Ms. WHO? I had requested the other teacher who I know is phenomenal but was told they couldn't accommodate requests). So I did what any reasonable parent would do who is faced with having to make a quick decision without getting to meet the teacher. I pulled up her facebook profile. And I don't know, she didn't look like a Kindergarten teacher but what can you really tell by a picture. So I made an appointment with the principal and went in and spoke to her. I explained what Cady's needs were and when I pressed the principal on what the assigned teacher was like her response was, "she did a nice job for us last year". NICE???? How about, "she's great! you'll love her!" or "she's very good at what she does." When pressed further she elaborated, "I think that things will be better for her this year. She had some rough kids last year and came on mid-year?" So I ask, "came on mid-year?" and I'm told that the other teacher resigned suddenly. Okay. STRIKE.
So, I ask about art. Art REALLY engages Cady. She gets absorbed in it and is able to tune everything out around her. I was told they don't have an art teacher and haven't had one. BUT, last year they were able to get a volunteer for six weeks. Six whole weeks huh? So I walked home feeling that it just wasn't a good fit. And I was having a hard time with it because I have always had a "rah rah neighborhood school" mentality. And I'm the first one to say that your neighborhood school is what you make of it. Get involved. Yadda yadda. That day I had a complete and total shift in my thinking. And so we accepted at Kunsmiller. On a side note, a friend of mine has her child in Kindergarten at our neighborhood school and says, "That Ms. X scares me. She's the type that takes the fun out of learning. If my child had gotten her as a teacher I think he would probably need psychotherapy." Score one for facebook!
So here we go. I go to register for Kunsmiller and instantly love Cady's teacher. She's young and energetic and has a great philosophy. She's a great communicator and has her bachelor's in music and her master's in early childhood. Great combo. Kunsmiller offers arts classes every day. Cady will have visual art, dance, theater and dance throughout the year in addition to the regular pull-outs like library, PE and technology. And it's a K-12 so she could potentially stay there. So, day one was a huge success. Ms Shaeffer is a big hugger and had colored playdough and Cady bonded with her almost immediately. But that very same day we get a call from the school up the road that was our first choice. It has a fantastic educational philosophy and has been going strong for 30 years. It was an agonizing decision but we switched. And then regretted it. The teacher didn't seem very communicative and three days after Cady started threw her hands up and said, "I don't know what to do" in response to not being able to get Cady to go to the cafeteria for lunch or the playground afterwards. It just didn't *feel* right. Not to mention that Cady had been pining away for Ms. Schaeffer every single day. "Can I go back to Ms. Schaeffer's class now?" And so, Monday morning I took time off of work and begged our way back into Kunsmiller. Cady is a Kunsmiller Dragon and we stand by that choice. It was a long process but maybe just what we needed to do to feel good about her being in the right place.
Coben LOVES his child care center. He has a little boy crush on one of his teachers, Ms. Gina and gets a little giddy when he says her name. He has made lots of good friends and is happy to go everyday. He has not shed one single tear and now he finally tells us that he didn't like the place he went to last year (mommy gut was right). His happiness has made going back to work much much easier. Still addicted to my hair. He still strokes it and twirls it and nearly makes me bald when he is nervous. The other day I was putting him in the car seat after school and he even asked, "mommy, I need to touch your hair".
Cady and Coben together. At their best they are so much fun. Their interactions are priceless and you can see the pure love. At their worst they are poking, yelling, hitting and tormenting each other in any way they see possible. It's not much different than what I went through with my siblings but let me tell you being on the non-parental side of it is MUCH easier to endure.
I think we are finding our groove. We might even be, dare I say, FUNCTIONING!?
And with this out of the way I hope to return to some shorter and fluffier blog entries.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Me again, what????
You all endured part 1 so it's only fair to give you part 2. Remember that fabulous new hair cut? Well, it's really needing a trim right about now. In fact I have an appointment tomorrow. My last one ever with Tracy who is shifting her business to her friend. So sad for me. A hairdresser that you love is hard to find. But I digress because part 1 started with the hair. Part 2 has nothing to do with the hair.
So, let's see. You all know about the Teen Parent Programs being cut. I don't think that I mentioned that after the phone call telling me that my position was eliminated I sent off an email to my Director that I had a feeling was a bad idea yet I was unable to NOT fire it off either because sometimes you just have to speak your mind to put things to rest and move on. (okay, maybe you don't but I do). That particular email thanked him for being kind enough to make a personal call to break the bad news and that I understood that the decision was financially driven yet I also hoped that they would consider looking at a way of restructuring the program so that one person could service all of the schools with the school staff doing the day-to-day services and the teen parent social worker acting as a consultant to the staff and delivering direct services to the students with more intensive needs. It was one of those emails where you don't feel the anxiety until after you hit send.And then you kind of wished that you had felt the anxiety first to prevent you from sending it.
Fast-forward. I posted about DC-21. The school with a great vision and philosophy and somewhat undesirable schedule. Stefanie and I have emailed back and forth and I've been waiting for the position to be posted. I had a month to waver back and forth and this past week I knew with all certainty that it's where I'm supposed to be. I started to get excited about the possibilities attached to the position. As a formality though I had to go to this degrading speed-dating type event for social workers who are officially on part-time assignments to match up with principals who are looking for part-time social workers. I was on the list so I felt like I had to show up because my bosses were there even if I already felt secure in my potential to work at DC-21. Before the first principal was done laying our her grand expectations of the grunt work that she was expecting her new hire to engage in with only two days a week while she was "very involved with what they are doing so that I can be sure that they are priortizing correctly" I wanted to bolt out of the room. And then, this is the part of the story that gets good, my former Director who is now Director of Special Education and Mental Health services motioned for me to come speak to him in the hallway. And on the spot he offered me a position operating the newly created position that would be providing district-wide services to teen parnts. I've worried for the past three years since being in the teen parent program and working closely with him that I have been a little too outspoken at times. And maybe I have but the bottom line is that he picked ME! Except I was too dumbfounded at the moment to appreciate the offer. In fact, I couldn't see him in any other way than as an ex-boyfriend who had come back to me after I was already in a new relationship. "What? You want us to be together? But I'm in LOVE with DC-21. I just got over you!" The only question I asked was how many days the position was (full-time). And because I honestly didn't know how I felt at that moment I asked him to give me some time to think it over.
I went home and Rob listened to me ALL. NIGHT. LONG. ramble on about the pros and cons of each position. I had gotten myself really excited about DC-21 and was now comparing apples to oranges with both having equal amounts of pros and cons (I was trying very hard to not let the fact that it wasn't year round weigh too heavily). So I did what you do when you aren't sure about something. I slept on it. And I woke up and thought, opportunities like this don't come along every day. And I went to work and I shared the news with my co-workers who congratulated me and then had the audacity to snicker out loud when I said, "Hey! I haven't made my decision yet!" They knew. And suddenly I did too. I fired off a list of questions to the Director---Would I have use of a computer and phone? (not just because of working district-wide but I actually worked this entire year with a phone that had no ringer. These are real valid questions if you are working in education). Can I work traditional high school hours? Will I have opportunities for professional development? He responded within the hour. I accepted the position and submitted the necessary forms and today I received this in my inbox:
This email serves as confirmation that you have been recommended for hire for the following position:
Title: TEACHER ON SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT Mental Health and Assesment Regional Support Specialist
Location: Administration-Central Office
FTE: 1
Human Resources will contact you to begin the hiring process. Thank you.
And I can't think about it too hard or I start to get woozy. I'm back to work full-time. A month ago I would have thought that I was a good two years away from going back full-time. (Expect a blog in August about how I feel like my heart is being ripped out being away from my kids for so long). I'm taking on the biggest professional challenge of my life. I could succeed or I could bomb and the future of teen parenting programs will depend on how well or poorly I do (no pressure or anything, right?) The position is ONLY funded for one year with no promises beyond that. I'm taking the plunge.
So, I've realized that it's not so much about the haircut nor is it about the bucket of clothes that I found. I think that this is what being 40 feels like. And I like it!
So, let's see. You all know about the Teen Parent Programs being cut. I don't think that I mentioned that after the phone call telling me that my position was eliminated I sent off an email to my Director that I had a feeling was a bad idea yet I was unable to NOT fire it off either because sometimes you just have to speak your mind to put things to rest and move on. (okay, maybe you don't but I do). That particular email thanked him for being kind enough to make a personal call to break the bad news and that I understood that the decision was financially driven yet I also hoped that they would consider looking at a way of restructuring the program so that one person could service all of the schools with the school staff doing the day-to-day services and the teen parent social worker acting as a consultant to the staff and delivering direct services to the students with more intensive needs. It was one of those emails where you don't feel the anxiety until after you hit send.And then you kind of wished that you had felt the anxiety first to prevent you from sending it.
Fast-forward. I posted about DC-21. The school with a great vision and philosophy and somewhat undesirable schedule. Stefanie and I have emailed back and forth and I've been waiting for the position to be posted. I had a month to waver back and forth and this past week I knew with all certainty that it's where I'm supposed to be. I started to get excited about the possibilities attached to the position. As a formality though I had to go to this degrading speed-dating type event for social workers who are officially on part-time assignments to match up with principals who are looking for part-time social workers. I was on the list so I felt like I had to show up because my bosses were there even if I already felt secure in my potential to work at DC-21. Before the first principal was done laying our her grand expectations of the grunt work that she was expecting her new hire to engage in with only two days a week while she was "very involved with what they are doing so that I can be sure that they are priortizing correctly" I wanted to bolt out of the room. And then, this is the part of the story that gets good, my former Director who is now Director of Special Education and Mental Health services motioned for me to come speak to him in the hallway. And on the spot he offered me a position operating the newly created position that would be providing district-wide services to teen parnts. I've worried for the past three years since being in the teen parent program and working closely with him that I have been a little too outspoken at times. And maybe I have but the bottom line is that he picked ME! Except I was too dumbfounded at the moment to appreciate the offer. In fact, I couldn't see him in any other way than as an ex-boyfriend who had come back to me after I was already in a new relationship. "What? You want us to be together? But I'm in LOVE with DC-21. I just got over you!" The only question I asked was how many days the position was (full-time). And because I honestly didn't know how I felt at that moment I asked him to give me some time to think it over.
I went home and Rob listened to me ALL. NIGHT. LONG. ramble on about the pros and cons of each position. I had gotten myself really excited about DC-21 and was now comparing apples to oranges with both having equal amounts of pros and cons (I was trying very hard to not let the fact that it wasn't year round weigh too heavily). So I did what you do when you aren't sure about something. I slept on it. And I woke up and thought, opportunities like this don't come along every day. And I went to work and I shared the news with my co-workers who congratulated me and then had the audacity to snicker out loud when I said, "Hey! I haven't made my decision yet!" They knew. And suddenly I did too. I fired off a list of questions to the Director---Would I have use of a computer and phone? (not just because of working district-wide but I actually worked this entire year with a phone that had no ringer. These are real valid questions if you are working in education). Can I work traditional high school hours? Will I have opportunities for professional development? He responded within the hour. I accepted the position and submitted the necessary forms and today I received this in my inbox:
This email serves as confirmation that you have been recommended for hire for the following position:
Title: TEACHER ON SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT Mental Health and Assesment Regional Support Specialist
Location: Administration-Central Office
FTE: 1
Human Resources will contact you to begin the hiring process. Thank you.
And I can't think about it too hard or I start to get woozy. I'm back to work full-time. A month ago I would have thought that I was a good two years away from going back full-time. (Expect a blog in August about how I feel like my heart is being ripped out being away from my kids for so long). I'm taking on the biggest professional challenge of my life. I could succeed or I could bomb and the future of teen parenting programs will depend on how well or poorly I do (no pressure or anything, right?) The position is ONLY funded for one year with no promises beyond that. I'm taking the plunge.
So, I've realized that it's not so much about the haircut nor is it about the bucket of clothes that I found. I think that this is what being 40 feels like. And I like it!
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