Killer Lobster

I would like to thank whoever sent the lobster to Cady. I'd like to think that it was Mimi or Chris and Sophie. She received it probably about a year ago and it was one of those toys that you put into water and it grows. A year ago that caused no problem. Today is a whole different story.

Last night Cady found the lobster again in the bottom of her toy bin. The thing is maybe about 3 inches long. She told me about it and then put it in a cup of water and here's the problem. Her dad told her, "It's not that kind of lobster" and "It's not going to grow."

Fast forward to this morning. I'm in the shower and Cady is yelling at me, "Mom, you have to come quick!" Why when I'm showering is her favorite time to do this I'll never know but it certainly wasn't the first time she's said this. So I ask her to please tell me what is important enough that I have to jump out of the shower with shampoo in my hair to see. She starts to get upset (and indignant) but won't tell me. I refuse to get out and she returns just moments later with a cup. Inside the cup is THE LOBSTER. The lobster who has now doubled (maybe tripled?) in size. Cady tells me, "I can't handle this mom. This wasn't supposed to grow. I need it out of the house. I can't live with this thing." I'm chuckling, look inside the cup and tell her, "Oh my god it just moved!" and she screams. Not screams but SCREAMS. Screams and shakes. A high-pitched glass shattering very long scream.  And I feel like a rotten mom because I didn't know it was THAT big of a deal at this point since Cady tends to be on the dramatic side in general.  So I apologize and she persists that she can't be in the same house with this creature. Coben overhears this and grabs the cup. And just like his daddy does when the girls need spider removal, he takes the lobster outside and dumps it on the ground in front of the door. Since we were running late for school I picked it up and set it on the window ledge outside.

Fast forward again. Now we are rushing off to school. We walk out the door and SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Screaming AND shaking, again. "It moved mom. I KNOW that thing was on the ground. I just know it was. How did that happen. Something is wrong with that thing. That thing is bad. I can't handle this!!"

Thank you for the laugh bearer of the gift but the lobster is now in the TRASH. If we've learned anything from the crazy monkey in Toy Story 3 to the book There's a Nightmare in my Closet, it's that these things can cause us to have to share our bed for months. And since we are dealing with a little guy who now has a big boy bed we just so happen to already a blanket-toting toddler pushing his way in every 2 a.m. The lobster MUST die!

Big Sisters

Sometimes it can be really tough having a sister. There are days that she yells at me all day long because she thinks that I am a pesty brother that wants to get into all of her stuff. I only get into all of her stuff because she never lets me play with any of it. In fact, she doesn't even let me into her room. We have really bad days sometimes. Those are the days that my mom says we are oil and water.

But then there are good days, When my sister decides to be nice to me I am the happiest kid on the block. I live for those days. When she is nice to me she lets me touch her favorite stuff, she shares treats with me, she chases and tickles me and she hugs me and let's me hold her hand in the back of mom's car.

I do things for my sister that I don't do for anyone else. My sister is the first one who taught me to smile. My mom didn't even know this. I was only a few months old when she was trying to take my picture and Cady said, "he can smile if you ask him to" and my mom gave her a look like, "yeah, sure" and then she told me, "Smile Coben" and I put my finger to my eye and flashed my toothless gums. I have since grown teeth but to this day I still put my finger to my eye. My sister taught me how to do that girly scream that my parents refer to as the "outdoor voice". I love how my sister and I can do that scream together and my mom's whole body tenses up and she gives us THE LOOK. We just laugh because it's our thing. My sister taught me to jump off of the coffee table onto the couch and she sticks up for me ALWAYS when other kids aren't nice to me...even on the days that she thinks I am a pesty brother. And it's because of my sister that the dentist lady said I was the best almost two year old that she has ever worked on. I watched my big sister go first and after seeing how brave she was I knew that I could do it too.

My sister doesn't know yet how important she is to me. She doesn't know that this pesty brother is the only one who can see that she already has those fairy wings that she so badly wants. My sister is glitter, and fairy-wings and everything that is wonderful in the world.

Seeing Stars

It escapes me how our parenting logic has gone out the window with child #2. What happened? One would think that the first child is an experiment and the second child is when you have it figured out. Why is that not the case?

Coben has been FIGHTING us on brushing his teeth. Every single night it has been a battle to get him to release the toothbrush from his tiny fists and to open up his mouth. We always win but it involves screaming and tears (Coben), sweat (US) and lots of begging (US again).

Last week Cady walks out of the bathroom and proudly tells us that she brushed Coben's teeth and he opened up and everything. Huh. Okay. I'm not sure why or how but I'm just glad. The next night I witness it for myself. Coben opens his mouth wide and Cady delves in an gives him a good oral scrubbing.

And then....

She produces a gold star. She found the same package of stars that we have had since she was a baby. The very same stars that we bought in order to reward tooth-brushing. The very same stars that went on her tooth-brushing sticker chart. The chart that Coben doesn't have. Huh. Thank you Cady for re-teaching us how to parent. We seem to have forgotten somewhere along the way.

And tooth-brushing I might add has been a breeze ever since.

Coben...sweet sweet Coben

Coben is approaching two. I don't need a calendar to tell me that. It's evident when our sweet sweet boy is in time-out 5 times per hour for most of the day. No kidding. He's a hitter. He loves it. You can see the pure joy on his face as he winds up his arm and WHAP! hits his sister two, three, four, "COBEN!! Stop hitting your sister!!! Please go sit in your naughty chair." And a smile spreads across his face as he trucks down the hall and plants himself in his "naughty chair" beanbag in the corner of his room. His posture is SO good when he sits there. He doesn't fidget or play. He just sits erectly and waits until he gets a dismissal. And within minutes he walks up to the dog and "WHAP WHAP WHAP!" and he's back in the naughty chair.

He wants to test it all out. The grocery store. "What happens if I hit my mom in the face. I'm sitting here in the cart and she is right in front of me and WHAP! Hmmm. She didn't respond. I think she is trying to ignore me. I'll mock her the next time. WHAP! Now I'm going to open my mouth and make a gasping sound like she does when she is shocked at what I've done. Oh, oh, oh, I think I'm getting to her. One more time, this should do it. WHAP! YES YES YES!! A time-out! That's what I was aiming for. And next to the tortilla display this time. Yippeeeee!"

And he's very obvious. He waits until I'm in the room and then he starts whacking Cady and watches me at the same time. I try not to give him the reaction that he is looking for but it's back to the naughty chair.

I guess Cady went through this. I don't really remember because I think I was more horrified just at the thought of her hitting. I was afflicted by first time mom-itis! "Why is she hitting? OMG, we don't hit. Where would she learn that? She doesn't go to daycare. But kids don't just hit do they?" HA! Anyhow, Rob the Historian assured me that Cady did this. And she also had several days of 20+ time-outs and that this too is just another phase that will pass. In the meantime, if you plan on visiting, wear protective gear.

Religion

It started with this.

Cady: "Mom, is Santa going to die one day?"
Me: "Nope, he lives forever"
Cady: "What about God Obama?"

And last night as we passed the courthouse on the way to the zoo it was this.
Cady: "Is that the jail or God?"

and from that it evolved into this.
Cady: "Is Jesus still a baby?
Me: "No, he was a baby a long long time ago and then he grew up"
Cady: "Does he have his kids?"
Me: "Rob, did he? No, wait, never mind, of course he didn't"

Religion. I have my own beliefs and they do involve God. But I just don't buy into any one religion being the "right" religion. I believe, like I do with most things in life, that there is a grain of truth in everything. But clearly it is time to insert some spiritual teaching.

When did it happen?

Just when did I get so dumb? I used to know things. I could recite movie quotes, tell jokes, talk about articles that I'd recently read. I don't know things anymore and I think this started when Cady became verbal. Let me share an example from just this evening.

Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: (amused and wanting her to repeat it because I'm getting a kick out of it) "Say it again! I'm trying to guess who it is."
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know this, I know this! One more time!"
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know, I know. It's Buzz Light Year from Toy Story!!"
Cady: "No, it's Woody"
Me: "I think Buzz is the one who says 'Infinity and beyond!"
Cady: (and you all know the tone of voice)"No mom. It's Woody and it's Con-fid-i-ty!"

Why even argue...

Thanksgiving then Christmas

Less than a week until Thanksgiving. Cady made an astute observation while we were watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonight. The episode was chock full of Christmas commercials and Cady announced, "Everyone is thinking about Christmas but nobody is thinking about Thanksgiving." She doesn't even know just how correct she is since her own mom has not even started planning a grocery list yet. Originally we were going to try to get home to Vegas or to Wisconsin to visit my family. It sounded great in theory but all kinds of details got in the way.  So, we are resuming our annual Thanksgiving with the Shaw's tradition (that would be Emma's family). This is our fourth or fifth Thanksgiving together so it's a pretty awesome consolation prize! I'm sad to miss yet another opportunity to see my family though. Perhaps this summer.

Cady has been very concerned about Santa. She is starting to question his powers. Does he live forever? How does he get into our house? And the most anxiety-provoking question of all. "Can he see me when I am going to the bathroom?" I am so glad that she was able to say that out loud. I remember how completely freaked out I was at that age believing that Santa, God and my deceased Grandmother could all see me when I was going to the bathroom. I never questioned it, I just spent a few years being weirded out by it.
The big prize is the tent that Santa is getting them. I can't wait until Christmas night when they will be allowed to put their blankets and pillows in there and sleep together. I also realize that I'm probably romanticizing how that is going to go but I just love the image so much that I'm blocking out the image of possible screaming, hair-pulling, tears, and an eventual separation.
Coben is getting Cady a pillow pet which will earn Coben HUGE points. Cady started talking about wanting a pillow pet when she first saw the commercial almost a year ago. And since then pretty much every child she knows has a pillow pet. She is quick to tell us who has them, who just got one, and how many they have. Emma has one. Maddie up the street has two. Pretty much every kid in her class has one. Every Wednesday is show-and-tell and every week I look in the show and tell box to retrieve Cady's show and tell choice and there are always pillow pets in there. Well, we figured a year is long enough to suffer. Us, not her. We are the ones that have been hearing about it for months!

Cady's imagination is out of control and she's been in our bed via middle of the night awakenings for over two months now. It started when her teacher read, "There's a Nightmare in my Closet" so I'm tempted to call her teacher at 3 a.m.just to spread the joy. This too shall pass, right? Coben on the other hand sleeps in his own bed all night. He comes in around 6 and dozes for another 1/2 hour to an hour. Then he wakes up and lays on top of me. He puts his nose right up against mine and whispers, "Hi mama." Every morning he does this and every morning I wake up with a melty heart. It's the best.
Jenny continues to eat herself silly and still manages to get herself locked in random small places for hours on end on a consistent basis. Fibi just keeps on smiling. And the rest of us? We are just so thankful for everything that we have and for the people in our lives and that life is good.