It escapes me how our parenting logic has gone out the window with child #2. What happened? One would think that the first child is an experiment and the second child is when you have it figured out. Why is that not the case?
Coben has been FIGHTING us on brushing his teeth. Every single night it has been a battle to get him to release the toothbrush from his tiny fists and to open up his mouth. We always win but it involves screaming and tears (Coben), sweat (US) and lots of begging (US again).
Last week Cady walks out of the bathroom and proudly tells us that she brushed Coben's teeth and he opened up and everything. Huh. Okay. I'm not sure why or how but I'm just glad. The next night I witness it for myself. Coben opens his mouth wide and Cady delves in an gives him a good oral scrubbing.
And then....
She produces a gold star. She found the same package of stars that we have had since she was a baby. The very same stars that we bought in order to reward tooth-brushing. The very same stars that went on her tooth-brushing sticker chart. The chart that Coben doesn't have. Huh. Thank you Cady for re-teaching us how to parent. We seem to have forgotten somewhere along the way.
And tooth-brushing I might add has been a breeze ever since.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Coben...sweet sweet Coben
Coben is approaching two. I don't need a calendar to tell me that. It's evident when our sweet sweet boy is in time-out 5 times per hour for most of the day. No kidding. He's a hitter. He loves it. You can see the pure joy on his face as he winds up his arm and WHAP! hits his sister two, three, four, "COBEN!! Stop hitting your sister!!! Please go sit in your naughty chair." And a smile spreads across his face as he trucks down the hall and plants himself in his "naughty chair" beanbag in the corner of his room. His posture is SO good when he sits there. He doesn't fidget or play. He just sits erectly and waits until he gets a dismissal. And within minutes he walks up to the dog and "WHAP WHAP WHAP!" and he's back in the naughty chair.
He wants to test it all out. The grocery store. "What happens if I hit my mom in the face. I'm sitting here in the cart and she is right in front of me and WHAP! Hmmm. She didn't respond. I think she is trying to ignore me. I'll mock her the next time. WHAP! Now I'm going to open my mouth and make a gasping sound like she does when she is shocked at what I've done. Oh, oh, oh, I think I'm getting to her. One more time, this should do it. WHAP! YES YES YES!! A time-out! That's what I was aiming for. And next to the tortilla display this time. Yippeeeee!"
And he's very obvious. He waits until I'm in the room and then he starts whacking Cady and watches me at the same time. I try not to give him the reaction that he is looking for but it's back to the naughty chair.
I guess Cady went through this. I don't really remember because I think I was more horrified just at the thought of her hitting. I was afflicted by first time mom-itis! "Why is she hitting? OMG, we don't hit. Where would she learn that? She doesn't go to daycare. But kids don't just hit do they?" HA! Anyhow, Rob the Historian assured me that Cady did this. And she also had several days of 20+ time-outs and that this too is just another phase that will pass. In the meantime, if you plan on visiting, wear protective gear.
He wants to test it all out. The grocery store. "What happens if I hit my mom in the face. I'm sitting here in the cart and she is right in front of me and WHAP! Hmmm. She didn't respond. I think she is trying to ignore me. I'll mock her the next time. WHAP! Now I'm going to open my mouth and make a gasping sound like she does when she is shocked at what I've done. Oh, oh, oh, I think I'm getting to her. One more time, this should do it. WHAP! YES YES YES!! A time-out! That's what I was aiming for. And next to the tortilla display this time. Yippeeeee!"
And he's very obvious. He waits until I'm in the room and then he starts whacking Cady and watches me at the same time. I try not to give him the reaction that he is looking for but it's back to the naughty chair.
I guess Cady went through this. I don't really remember because I think I was more horrified just at the thought of her hitting. I was afflicted by first time mom-itis! "Why is she hitting? OMG, we don't hit. Where would she learn that? She doesn't go to daycare. But kids don't just hit do they?" HA! Anyhow, Rob the Historian assured me that Cady did this. And she also had several days of 20+ time-outs and that this too is just another phase that will pass. In the meantime, if you plan on visiting, wear protective gear.
Religion
It started with this.
Cady: "Mom, is Santa going to die one day?"
Me: "Nope, he lives forever"
Cady: "What about God Obama?"
And last night as we passed the courthouse on the way to the zoo it was this.
Cady: "Is that the jail or God?"
and from that it evolved into this.
Cady: "Is Jesus still a baby?
Me: "No, he was a baby a long long time ago and then he grew up"
Cady: "Does he have his kids?"
Me: "Rob, did he? No, wait, never mind, of course he didn't"
Religion. I have my own beliefs and they do involve God. But I just don't buy into any one religion being the "right" religion. I believe, like I do with most things in life, that there is a grain of truth in everything. But clearly it is time to insert some spiritual teaching.
Cady: "Mom, is Santa going to die one day?"
Me: "Nope, he lives forever"
Cady: "What about God Obama?"
And last night as we passed the courthouse on the way to the zoo it was this.
Cady: "Is that the jail or God?"
and from that it evolved into this.
Cady: "Is Jesus still a baby?
Me: "No, he was a baby a long long time ago and then he grew up"
Cady: "Does he have his kids?"
Me: "Rob, did he? No, wait, never mind, of course he didn't"
Religion. I have my own beliefs and they do involve God. But I just don't buy into any one religion being the "right" religion. I believe, like I do with most things in life, that there is a grain of truth in everything. But clearly it is time to insert some spiritual teaching.
Monday, November 29, 2010
When did it happen?
Just when did I get so dumb? I used to know things. I could recite movie quotes, tell jokes, talk about articles that I'd recently read. I don't know things anymore and I think this started when Cady became verbal. Let me share an example from just this evening.
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: (amused and wanting her to repeat it because I'm getting a kick out of it) "Say it again! I'm trying to guess who it is."
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know this, I know this! One more time!"
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know, I know. It's Buzz Light Year from Toy Story!!"
Cady: "No, it's Woody"
Me: "I think Buzz is the one who says 'Infinity and beyond!"
Cady: (and you all know the tone of voice)"No mom. It's Woody and it's Con-fid-i-ty!"
Why even argue...
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: (amused and wanting her to repeat it because I'm getting a kick out of it) "Say it again! I'm trying to guess who it is."
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know this, I know this! One more time!"
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know, I know. It's Buzz Light Year from Toy Story!!"
Cady: "No, it's Woody"
Me: "I think Buzz is the one who says 'Infinity and beyond!"
Cady: (and you all know the tone of voice)"No mom. It's Woody and it's Con-fid-i-ty!"
Why even argue...
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thanksgiving then Christmas
Less than a week until Thanksgiving. Cady made an astute observation while we were watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonight. The episode was chock full of Christmas commercials and Cady announced, "Everyone is thinking about Christmas but nobody is thinking about Thanksgiving." She doesn't even know just how correct she is since her own mom has not even started planning a grocery list yet. Originally we were going to try to get home to Vegas or to Wisconsin to visit my family. It sounded great in theory but all kinds of details got in the way. So, we are resuming our annual Thanksgiving with the Shaw's tradition (that would be Emma's family). This is our fourth or fifth Thanksgiving together so it's a pretty awesome consolation prize! I'm sad to miss yet another opportunity to see my family though. Perhaps this summer.
Cady has been very concerned about Santa. She is starting to question his powers. Does he live forever? How does he get into our house? And the most anxiety-provoking question of all. "Can he see me when I am going to the bathroom?" I am so glad that she was able to say that out loud. I remember how completely freaked out I was at that age believing that Santa, God and my deceased Grandmother could all see me when I was going to the bathroom. I never questioned it, I just spent a few years being weirded out by it.
The big prize is the tent that Santa is getting them. I can't wait until Christmas night when they will be allowed to put their blankets and pillows in there and sleep together. I also realize that I'm probably romanticizing how that is going to go but I just love the image so much that I'm blocking out the image of possible screaming, hair-pulling, tears, and an eventual separation.
Coben is getting Cady a pillow pet which will earn Coben HUGE points. Cady started talking about wanting a pillow pet when she first saw the commercial almost a year ago. And since then pretty much every child she knows has a pillow pet. She is quick to tell us who has them, who just got one, and how many they have. Emma has one. Maddie up the street has two. Pretty much every kid in her class has one. Every Wednesday is show-and-tell and every week I look in the show and tell box to retrieve Cady's show and tell choice and there are always pillow pets in there. Well, we figured a year is long enough to suffer. Us, not her. We are the ones that have been hearing about it for months!
Cady's imagination is out of control and she's been in our bed via middle of the night awakenings for over two months now. It started when her teacher read, "There's a Nightmare in my Closet" so I'm tempted to call her teacher at 3 a.m.just to spread the joy. This too shall pass, right? Coben on the other hand sleeps in his own bed all night. He comes in around 6 and dozes for another 1/2 hour to an hour. Then he wakes up and lays on top of me. He puts his nose right up against mine and whispers, "Hi mama." Every morning he does this and every morning I wake up with a melty heart. It's the best.
Jenny continues to eat herself silly and still manages to get herself locked in random small places for hours on end on a consistent basis. Fibi just keeps on smiling. And the rest of us? We are just so thankful for everything that we have and for the people in our lives and that life is good.
Cady has been very concerned about Santa. She is starting to question his powers. Does he live forever? How does he get into our house? And the most anxiety-provoking question of all. "Can he see me when I am going to the bathroom?" I am so glad that she was able to say that out loud. I remember how completely freaked out I was at that age believing that Santa, God and my deceased Grandmother could all see me when I was going to the bathroom. I never questioned it, I just spent a few years being weirded out by it.
The big prize is the tent that Santa is getting them. I can't wait until Christmas night when they will be allowed to put their blankets and pillows in there and sleep together. I also realize that I'm probably romanticizing how that is going to go but I just love the image so much that I'm blocking out the image of possible screaming, hair-pulling, tears, and an eventual separation.
Coben is getting Cady a pillow pet which will earn Coben HUGE points. Cady started talking about wanting a pillow pet when she first saw the commercial almost a year ago. And since then pretty much every child she knows has a pillow pet. She is quick to tell us who has them, who just got one, and how many they have. Emma has one. Maddie up the street has two. Pretty much every kid in her class has one. Every Wednesday is show-and-tell and every week I look in the show and tell box to retrieve Cady's show and tell choice and there are always pillow pets in there. Well, we figured a year is long enough to suffer. Us, not her. We are the ones that have been hearing about it for months!
Cady's imagination is out of control and she's been in our bed via middle of the night awakenings for over two months now. It started when her teacher read, "There's a Nightmare in my Closet" so I'm tempted to call her teacher at 3 a.m.just to spread the joy. This too shall pass, right? Coben on the other hand sleeps in his own bed all night. He comes in around 6 and dozes for another 1/2 hour to an hour. Then he wakes up and lays on top of me. He puts his nose right up against mine and whispers, "Hi mama." Every morning he does this and every morning I wake up with a melty heart. It's the best.
Jenny continues to eat herself silly and still manages to get herself locked in random small places for hours on end on a consistent basis. Fibi just keeps on smiling. And the rest of us? We are just so thankful for everything that we have and for the people in our lives and that life is good.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Holidays are a-comin
It's October? Really? What happened to August and September? I'll tell you. Gone. Time spent driving the kids to and from school. Ballet, Tap, Music Class, and Gymnastics. Physical Therapy for me twice a week. Trying to squeeze in exercise. And then school events. Blogging time? Forget about it. When we are not running I just want to turn off.
School has been going well. We are really happy with Cady's school. She is so excited about learning again and she is growing by leaps and bounds. She is starting to sound out words and attempting to link those sounds together to make her own written words. Coben is in love with his new BFF Leo. There was a time when I would come to pick him up and he would run to me, hug me and head for the door. And now it's a fight to get his shoes on and I have to practically beg him to leave with me.
The picking Cady up from school ritual is beautiful. Every single day, whether we are pressed for time or not, we MUST engage in the rituals.
The rituals:
We park the car and enter the building. Coben must open the door all by himself. He waves to the security guard. We have to stop and look in all of the display cases. We must then run up the ramp and get a drink from the water fountain. Then it's running down the hallway and looking in the display cases up there. Then we walk into the room and Coben shrieks, "Cady!" and runs in to find her to give her a hug. As I'm checking out he must wash his hands and dry them. And then we leave and we repeat the rituals on the way out with the addition of climing up onto the wall and running on the ledge. And he must sit on the end before he gets down. If any of this is out of order or not done there is a price to pay and it's not pretty. I made the mistake one day of using the restroom and for days afterword Coben ran to the restroom and yelled, "mama!" because he was sure that using the restroom was a new addition. Anyhow, it's very trying but watching him burst into the room to find his sis is priceless. Watching him mimic everything that she does when they walk out of the school together is better than priceless.
And here comes Christmas. Cady doesn't watch tv anymore except for one show at night if she has earned it. Saturday and Sunday we are more liberal and she has been known to watch a few Sponge Bob's in a row before we shut it off. And with tv comes tv commercials. Nearly every commercial elicits this response:
"Mom, Dad, I want this!"
"What does it do?"
"I don't know but I want it!"
OR
"Mom, Dad, I want this! It bends and twists and you can tie it up and it's only 19.99 but you have to be 18 to order and you get a free extra bendy-twisty thing if your order now!"
I made her a little book tonight. The plan is for her to use it to cut and paste pictures of what she wants into it so that we can later discuss. Really, it's a way to channel all of those wants and hopefully she'll see how accumulative those wants are and realize the challenge in narrowing down her top wants.
Cady vocab. I've been writing these down.
Yo-grit=yogurt
Thingers=Fingers
Hump-is=Compass (mine and Rob's personal favorite. Arrested adolescent humor I guess)
carfume=perfume
Endevelope=Envelope
And Coben. Yes folks, he can talk. Things are finally clicking for him and he realizes that words=power. "No" is a favorite. "Cady" ranks right up there too. He's just a talking machine. And he is still sleeping. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall but it hasn't yet. We tuck him in and he's out. He does like to wake up at 5 and for lack of better words...it SUCKS. But, it sure beats the all night wake ups that another little person used to put us through. And naps are a breeze. We so deserve this. We paid our dues into this club.
Why does this feel like a Christmas letter? I remember that Rob and I started to feel normal after Cady was about 2. So, seeing as how Coben has about 5 more months I'm confident that the blog will be more bloggy and less Christmas-lettery sometime after March. Eek, I will be 40!!
I think I'll go process that!
School has been going well. We are really happy with Cady's school. She is so excited about learning again and she is growing by leaps and bounds. She is starting to sound out words and attempting to link those sounds together to make her own written words. Coben is in love with his new BFF Leo. There was a time when I would come to pick him up and he would run to me, hug me and head for the door. And now it's a fight to get his shoes on and I have to practically beg him to leave with me.
The picking Cady up from school ritual is beautiful. Every single day, whether we are pressed for time or not, we MUST engage in the rituals.
The rituals:
We park the car and enter the building. Coben must open the door all by himself. He waves to the security guard. We have to stop and look in all of the display cases. We must then run up the ramp and get a drink from the water fountain. Then it's running down the hallway and looking in the display cases up there. Then we walk into the room and Coben shrieks, "Cady!" and runs in to find her to give her a hug. As I'm checking out he must wash his hands and dry them. And then we leave and we repeat the rituals on the way out with the addition of climing up onto the wall and running on the ledge. And he must sit on the end before he gets down. If any of this is out of order or not done there is a price to pay and it's not pretty. I made the mistake one day of using the restroom and for days afterword Coben ran to the restroom and yelled, "mama!" because he was sure that using the restroom was a new addition. Anyhow, it's very trying but watching him burst into the room to find his sis is priceless. Watching him mimic everything that she does when they walk out of the school together is better than priceless.
And here comes Christmas. Cady doesn't watch tv anymore except for one show at night if she has earned it. Saturday and Sunday we are more liberal and she has been known to watch a few Sponge Bob's in a row before we shut it off. And with tv comes tv commercials. Nearly every commercial elicits this response:
"Mom, Dad, I want this!"
"What does it do?"
"I don't know but I want it!"
OR
"Mom, Dad, I want this! It bends and twists and you can tie it up and it's only 19.99 but you have to be 18 to order and you get a free extra bendy-twisty thing if your order now!"
I made her a little book tonight. The plan is for her to use it to cut and paste pictures of what she wants into it so that we can later discuss. Really, it's a way to channel all of those wants and hopefully she'll see how accumulative those wants are and realize the challenge in narrowing down her top wants.
Cady vocab. I've been writing these down.
Yo-grit=yogurt
Thingers=Fingers
Hump-is=Compass (mine and Rob's personal favorite. Arrested adolescent humor I guess)
carfume=perfume
Endevelope=Envelope
And Coben. Yes folks, he can talk. Things are finally clicking for him and he realizes that words=power. "No" is a favorite. "Cady" ranks right up there too. He's just a talking machine. And he is still sleeping. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall but it hasn't yet. We tuck him in and he's out. He does like to wake up at 5 and for lack of better words...it SUCKS. But, it sure beats the all night wake ups that another little person used to put us through. And naps are a breeze. We so deserve this. We paid our dues into this club.
Why does this feel like a Christmas letter? I remember that Rob and I started to feel normal after Cady was about 2. So, seeing as how Coben has about 5 more months I'm confident that the blog will be more bloggy and less Christmas-lettery sometime after March. Eek, I will be 40!!
I think I'll go process that!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Updating the blog
I think about it. A lot. It's alwasy somewhere in the back of my mind, "Paula, it's been a while since you've blogged. Don't you think you should write SOMETHING?" I think about how I really should write a synopsis of our time in Maine. About how we rarely saw Cady and the fun that she had getting around the clock adult attention. She had a fairy-finding, sea-treasure-seeking, rock-climbing, berry-picking, pie-making, book-reading, row-boat riding good time!
But the thought of breaking it down overwhelms me.
The very night that we got back from our 2 week hiatus there was an email that I opened at 11:00 that night that said that work was starting a day early and that I was supposed to be back that next morning? Now how do you cancel a dog obedience appointment, a hair appointment, get some basic food items back into the house (milk anyone?) and find child care on 7 hours notice? That pretty much defines how it started when we returned and it just hasn't stopped. So when Mimi sent me an email today asking how things are going and I found myself with a 20 minute lunch break at work, I answered. And I realized that I had just about written a blog. So, to alleviate the pressure that I feel (from myself) I am cutting and pasting a quick update and calling it....DONE!!
Cady absolutely LOVES school. The director came to our house before school started to meet our family and let Cady take her on a tour of the house. What a brilliant idea b/c on Cady's first day she was pretty apprehensive going in but when she saw Ms. Mona's familiar face her whole body relaxed. And Ms. Mona was able to say, "Cady you have a Hello Kitty shirt just like the Hello Kitty pillow that you have on your bed that you showed me!" A brilliant engagement strategy! It's a very child-centered happy classroom. The food is catered in from a nearby senior living community and it is fabulous. The kid is eating a morning buffet (served family style) of eggs, BACON, blueberry panckakes and fresh fruit and although I haven't seen the lunches or snacks Cady's describes them as holding up to the same standards as breakfast. She loves that she finally encountered some monkey bars that are HER height and she never stops talking about Ms. Mona. She had her very first show and tell yesterday and brought a couple of pictures from Ripley (ripped out of a 2003 calendar since we didn't get it together in time) and her collection of sea treasures. She claimed that she wasn't shy and felt very brave sharing.
Coben seems to be adjusting well. It's a hoot to pick him up in the afternoon and watch him play with his little same-aged friend Leo. They seem to get along well and Coben doesn't seem in a rush to leave when I pick him up. Anytime they are asked to give a hug good-bye they run to each other but then give each other a shoulder bump. It's the funniest thing. She had him in gymnastics with Leo once a week but we decided after the teacher refused to take our check that it's just not Coben's thing. They refused to take the check for this month apparently because he refuses to engage at all. So, Cady will stay in gymnastics and Coben will stick with his music. Cady also started a ballet/tap combo class at the rec center. So far so good. Although she was confronted on her first day by major four year old attitude when the girls at the front door asked why she didn't have a ballet outfit. I guess we'll be going to get one of those after work today. :) Coben still exhibits his metrosexual tendencies. He's obsessed with a tube of pink lipstick that I have and always find a way to get a hold of it and apply it. He cries when I get ready in the morning until I pretend to put mascara on him. He's still very much into wearing my shoes around the house and his OCD around tidiness and order still lingers.
I'm not sure what Rob has filled you in on but the house is broken again so we had to have the structural engineer back out...again. We're looking into epoxy now and then getting the heck OUT. We'll definitely be selling because we are DONE DONE DONE and if we had enough money to get it all done now we'd probably sell NOW. It's probably just as well that we wait so it looks like Spring is the time that we'll put it back up. And hopefully there is someone out there that doesn't mind a broken house (it's still deemed sound but will likely re-open anytime and everytime the ground shifts which is frequent).
That's our news. We are trying to enjoy the last of the summer weather!
But the thought of breaking it down overwhelms me.
The very night that we got back from our 2 week hiatus there was an email that I opened at 11:00 that night that said that work was starting a day early and that I was supposed to be back that next morning? Now how do you cancel a dog obedience appointment, a hair appointment, get some basic food items back into the house (milk anyone?) and find child care on 7 hours notice? That pretty much defines how it started when we returned and it just hasn't stopped. So when Mimi sent me an email today asking how things are going and I found myself with a 20 minute lunch break at work, I answered. And I realized that I had just about written a blog. So, to alleviate the pressure that I feel (from myself) I am cutting and pasting a quick update and calling it....DONE!!
Cady absolutely LOVES school. The director came to our house before school started to meet our family and let Cady take her on a tour of the house. What a brilliant idea b/c on Cady's first day she was pretty apprehensive going in but when she saw Ms. Mona's familiar face her whole body relaxed. And Ms. Mona was able to say, "Cady you have a Hello Kitty shirt just like the Hello Kitty pillow that you have on your bed that you showed me!" A brilliant engagement strategy! It's a very child-centered happy classroom. The food is catered in from a nearby senior living community and it is fabulous. The kid is eating a morning buffet (served family style) of eggs, BACON, blueberry panckakes and fresh fruit and although I haven't seen the lunches or snacks Cady's describes them as holding up to the same standards as breakfast. She loves that she finally encountered some monkey bars that are HER height and she never stops talking about Ms. Mona. She had her very first show and tell yesterday and brought a couple of pictures from Ripley (ripped out of a 2003 calendar since we didn't get it together in time) and her collection of sea treasures. She claimed that she wasn't shy and felt very brave sharing.
Coben seems to be adjusting well. It's a hoot to pick him up in the afternoon and watch him play with his little same-aged friend Leo. They seem to get along well and Coben doesn't seem in a rush to leave when I pick him up. Anytime they are asked to give a hug good-bye they run to each other but then give each other a shoulder bump. It's the funniest thing. She had him in gymnastics with Leo once a week but we decided after the teacher refused to take our check that it's just not Coben's thing. They refused to take the check for this month apparently because he refuses to engage at all. So, Cady will stay in gymnastics and Coben will stick with his music. Cady also started a ballet/tap combo class at the rec center. So far so good. Although she was confronted on her first day by major four year old attitude when the girls at the front door asked why she didn't have a ballet outfit. I guess we'll be going to get one of those after work today. :) Coben still exhibits his metrosexual tendencies. He's obsessed with a tube of pink lipstick that I have and always find a way to get a hold of it and apply it. He cries when I get ready in the morning until I pretend to put mascara on him. He's still very much into wearing my shoes around the house and his OCD around tidiness and order still lingers.
I'm not sure what Rob has filled you in on but the house is broken again so we had to have the structural engineer back out...again. We're looking into epoxy now and then getting the heck OUT. We'll definitely be selling because we are DONE DONE DONE and if we had enough money to get it all done now we'd probably sell NOW. It's probably just as well that we wait so it looks like Spring is the time that we'll put it back up. And hopefully there is someone out there that doesn't mind a broken house (it's still deemed sound but will likely re-open anytime and everytime the ground shifts which is frequent).
That's our news. We are trying to enjoy the last of the summer weather!
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