The Fairy Princess and her Brudder

The Nutcracker

2011-12-18T11:51:00.000-08:00

Finally, the day of the Nutracker has arrived. The moment that Cady woke up she put on the purple dress that her Aunt Sophie sent to her. Seven hours later we found ourselves front row center (discount tickets) with a few of our friends to watch the performance. It was the same show that we went to last year but an entirely different experience. Last year, Cady watched and didn't say a whole lot. This year Cady had a lot to say and it was fun to watch her try to figure it all out. "How do they get their dress to stick straight up in the air like that? Boy, you have to be strong to do that (as the sugar plum fairy is being lifted through the air), That man must be very embarraseed to be wearing a pink shirt. Is that ballerina from Japanese? Is she from Babesia? (Asia but almost LOL'd at this one as it seemed like a line straight out of a Bill and Ted movie) Is he from Africa? Why are the girl and the nutrcracker just sitting there watching?" and my favorite was when she would try to explain the show to me. "The nutracker came to life and it's because the brown man is magic" I was super proud of Cady for getting on stage this year. At the end of the show they invite all of the little girls (and boys but only like 2-3 in the whole audience) on stage for Q&A with the performers and then they teach them a dance routine. Last year I could tell that Cady wanted to so badly but she was too nervous to do it. This year she didn't hesitate and she shook her little tail-feathers up there. The problem with sitting in the first row is that all of the other camera-happy parents rushed down and crowded in front so I didn't even try to get a video but just enjoyed the moment instead. You'll have to take my word for it that she looked like a little fairy princess in her purple sparkly dress dancing up there.

The Second Time Around

2011-11-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

Here's another lesson learned. The terrible twos are no easier the second time around. I can think of two reasons why. Reason #1 is because we are dealing with a completely different child. Reason #2, and probably the most important reason, is that we never mastered it the first time. We just got through it because as with any stage we realized if you wait long enough "this too shall pass".
You probably wonder what are these terrible twos that we are just now speaking of seeing as how Coben has been two for 10 months now. It's all coming back to us now. It wasn't the twos that were so bad for us, it was the threes. We have all kinds of names for the threes but this is a family blog so we won't go there. So, Coben is now approaching those %$&! threes and he has been in rare form. Dinner time has become the battle of the wills. Nothing is right. Everything that was okay before is suddenly not okay. And he isn't afraid to speak, I mean whiiiiiiiine, his mind about it. We have a rule, if you don't eat then you don't get anything else. So, we eventually throw in the towel and resign to the fact that he is not going to eat and we hold firm on the no dessert rule but nevertheless we not only get to endure the dinner time meltdown but the post dinner time I demand to have something else meltdown. Our mantra is "hold firm, consistency pays off" but what is really running through our heads is, "Come ON! For the love of sanity, KNOCK. IT. OFF!" But we do hold firm so this too shall pass, right?

We have been very lucky to have inherited hand-me-downs from a friend. Not only do we get hand-me-downs but hand-me-downs times twos since they have twins. Coben has a drawer-full of blue jeans. Maybe 15 pairs. He won't wear blue jeans. He will only wear sweat pants these days of which he has only a couple pairs. It's very hard to even think about buying more when there are FIFTEEN pairs of jeans sitting in the second drawer of his dresser growing cobwebs. So, he has to have his sweatpants and typically only his "O-dabba-dabba" (Yo Gabba Gabba) unders and lately this Christmas shirt that he started wearing frequently before Thanksgiving (two days in a row at one point, unwashed, GASP!).
One day he refused to wear any shirt at all. When a toddler gets into a certain mindset there's a series of events that follow. Let me break it down. It usually starts with a very routine thing like in this situation putting on a shirt to go to school. But for some reason (usually when you are running late) the toddler is vehemently against this part of the routine on this particular day for no apparent reason. Barring sleep deprivation or hunger, there is almost always some underlying reason for the toddler meltdown that you are not privvy to and that he is in no shape to share. You only know something is wrong because you start to put on the shirt and he backarches, turns to jello, refuses to stand-up and starts screaming and flailing. And this all happens in the course of one half of a second. So you are standing there completely dumbfounded holding the shirt and wondering WTF (Why the Face, right?) happened!  So now you lodge into your parenting pattern that usually starts out strong and quickly weakens. So first it's the empathetic approach which includes validating those little feelings and playing guessing games "ohhhh, something is wrong. You don't like the shirt?" "You want a different shirt?" "Does the shirt bother you?" Almost always this is met by zero response and louder wails. At this point even if you DO guess right they won't give you the satisfaction because they are already too far gone to come back. Then come the negotations, "If you put the shirt on you can have a sticker for getting dressed" or "If you put your shirt on you won't have to have breakfast in the car" which are basically meaningless as there is still too much wailing, whining and body throwing going on so it evolves into empty threats, "If you don't put your shirt on you'll have to stay home by yourself because mom and dad have to go to work", or "if you don't put your shirt on you're going to freeze and catch a cold (I know, you don't catch a cold from the weather but you get desperate) and then if all else fails the wrestling match. And the wrestling match gets you NOWHERE because if you can manage to get the shirt around the neck and the arms in the sleeves they will pull it off immediately after you wrestle in on. So on this particular morning I'm walking out the door fifteen minutes late for work because of all the tag-teaming with Rob to try to get Coben dressed. Coben is standing at the door shirtless and crying and I tell Rob. "Just send him to school without a shirt!" And I meant it. I didn't care that it was cold and I didn't care if the school thought we sucked as parents. At that moment Rob and I were defeated. But finally there came a moment a little while after I left where the switch flipped, calm was restored and Coben was able to finally discuss the shirt issue (which turned out to be that he didn't like the shirt that Rob picked out and wanted the Christmas shirt).

And these patterns continue through bedtime. He wants footie jams. I try to talk him out of footie jams but there is no talking him out of footie jams. So we put on footie jams and I tuck him into bed. Then I go to sit down and try to relax and I'll hear "Moooooom!" the moment my butt hits the cushion. I already know. I know that I am being called back in to take off the footie jams because they are too hot. But we will do this every.single.night. There is no reasoning with Coben. "Coben, you always get too hot in the footie jams why don't we try one of these other pairs." "Noooooo. I want the dino footie jams!!" And I know. I know that I could stand firm and refuse to let him wear the footie jams but I also know deep down that if it's not the footie jams it WILL be something else. So in my head I think of the footie jams as the potential lesser of all evils.
So right now the little guy is in bed. He is laying on the bare plastic mattress because his sheets are being washed and I didn't get them in the dryer before bed because of laundry back-up. No other sheets would do. I pulled 3 different sheets out of the closet and each suggestion just seemed to provoke a bigger emotinal response.  So I offered to put the "snuggie blanket"down on the mattress and  fold it over him. OUT OF THE QUESTION. So there he lays. On a cold plastic mattress. Once his sheets are dry I will sneak in after he is asleep and make some adjustments. And I'll look at him and wonder how that sweet little boy could possibly rage so big. And I'll decide that it's just not possible. No matter how rough the day has been, watching a sleeping child is a lot like childbirth. You forget as soon as it is over.

It's coming!

2011-11-18T21:44:00.000-08:00

It's heating up around the Keenan house. The Christmas frenzy has begun! Saturday morning cartoons are now plastered even more-so with toy commercials. "I want that!" "I want that!" I have a rule that they have to tell me what it is and what it does before they can put it on their list. It's hilarious to watch them (Cady) try to actually figure out in a hurry what it actually is and does before the commercial is over. Half the time she has no clue but she knows that she must have it. I can't help but smile to hear Coben ask Cady, "Cady . You buy me dat?" He doesn't get the concept of Santa yet but he does have two year old imaginary thinking that his sister's pockets are lined with gold and she's just waiting to spend it all on him.
So, what is Santa going to get this year? I really really wish that Santa was not going to bring Emma a new puppy. That's going to be a tough one for Cady. For a moment Santa entertained the idea of getting her the mouse she has wanted or some fish as a consolation but instead it looks like he is going to get the Costco special which is a giant wooden dollhouse. And for Coben it's a Black and Decker tool bench. Okay, maybe they're not the only ones already in the spirit since I just so happen to be blogging about it and it's not even Thanksgiving yet.
Speaking of. We are having Thanksgiving at the Shaw's again this year. I have no idea what we would do without them. Gretchen and I are going to cook together while the kids run wild and the honeys watch "the game". Sounds pretty near perfect to me.

The Awakening

2011-10-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

It's 2 a.m. and I am awakened by the sound of a door slowly creaking open and then being forcefully shut. I hear loud footsteps coming down the hallway, stomp, stomp, stomp, Stomp. The bedroom door flies open and I open my eyes to see all of three foot something standing in my doorway with the hallway light creating a sillhouette of wild hair and an armful of lovies. I groan and roll over. But still he appears by my bedside. "Coben, it's not morning. Come cuddle when the sun comes up." His response is to start throwing objects up on the bed one by one. This time it's Buddy, Long Dog and Swiper and three blankets. Some of us don't function well at 2 a.m. so I'm in awe that he can manage to not only locate all of these objects in the dark but to make the long toddle down the hallway without losing a single friend. I'm now buried with blankets and lovies but I can hear him pulling out the under the bed rollaway storage containers to create a step stool and then hoisting himself up onto the foot of the King Sized mattress and start making his way to the top. He throws a few elbows and snuggles in between his Dad and I. I start to protest but he wraps his arms around my neck and whispers, "Hi mom. I missed you. I love you". And I surrended to the bittersweet realization that these moments don't last forever. Within moments we are all asleep again.

Halloween, just around the corner!

2011-10-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

I went to Cady's parent-teacher conference tonight to find out that she's doing great socially and academically. She's starting to really settle in and adapts to changes easier than those first weeks. Her teacher informed me that our school district does not allow Halloween celebrations so the kids won't be able to dress up for school. I just don't get it.
Was it just me or wasn't the annual dressing up and parading around the school followed by a Halloween party one of the best school holiday celebrations? Why does our culture, a mixture of all cultures, find that celebrating other cultures are okay but then do away with long-standing American traditions which have become a part of our culture? Christmas parties have become holiday celebrations even though Santa Claus long ago broke out of the religious box. I loved Cady's last school that instead of not celebrating, used the time to introduce many different ideas of how different cultures celebrate which meant the kids not only got to have a Christmas party but all kinds of parties. What better way to learn than to celebrate?
Wow. I didn't expect to go here tonight. The only reason I signed on to blog tonight was to share that Cady jumped into my car after school and gleefully announced that she had "Jimmy cracked corns" today. I didn't laugh. But I wanted to. She was referring to Candy Corns.
Coben on the other hand gets the right words in there. He told me that he is going to try Jicama one day at school and that he had gouda cheese the other day. He retains the craziest things. Pronunciation is where the work comes in for Coben. Last night we had a request for Word-els. What? Wordels. You want what? WORDELS!! Oh, noodles? Is that what you want? Yes, wordels. Coben, try saying N-n-n-noodles. N-n-n-Wordels! At least he tried.

Vocab

2011-09-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

As promised here are the Cady-isms that I have been saving up over the summer.

Presented in quiz format:
What is the real word or term behind the Cady-made word/term?

Pixie Pins or Moxie Pins.
Jigglies
Woodjie
Pimples
Crunchy Lips
Crack the Light
Fur
House Air
Butt Cheek of Penis
Kick
Batter Spoon
Totaller Truck

And even Coben has one. But his is related to speech.

Oopers

He has this Brick-like (reference The Middle) way of adding S's to the end of words since he leaves them off of the beginning of words. So, we'll hear him saying, "I did a somersault in the grass-s-s-s" essentially turning one syllable words into three syllable words.

Okay. So how many did you get right???

Pixie Pins. Also called Moxie Pins.   Bobby Pins
Jigglies   The bottom of your pants if they jiggle. So jeans have jigglies but leggings do not.
Woodjie Wedgie
Pimples Nipples
Crunchy Lips Chapped Lips
Crack the Light   Turn the light down
Fur   Crayon Shavings
House Air   Room Temperature
Butt Cheek of Penis   Testicles (something we talk waaaay too much about IMO)
Kick   Ken doll
Batter Spoon Spatula
Totaller Truck Tow Truck
Oopers Slippers

And there went the summer

2011-09-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

It's really hard to write a blog when you realize that so much time has passed. I thought about it all summer and yet I had nothing to give. It's not that the kids weren't there typical cute selves, it's just that the more time that passed the more pressure I felt. And the more pressure that I felt (self-imposed) the more it felt like work.
I've been keeping little Cady-isms on the fridge at home this whole time. I'll be sure to post those. Not today though. For now I felt like I needed to strike while the iron was lukewarm.
To pick up from May. Cady graduated from preschool. Coben was glad to be done with childcare. Even if it was only two days a week it was not his favorite place.
I was offered a position that I couldn't refuse but it involved going back to work full time. I would get to work on a teen parent initiative district-wide, or so that is what I was told by the Director of my department when he offered it to me. Fast forward two weeks after an HR approval for the position and I'm sitting down with a team member at Tony's Market Cafe (Do NOT eat there) and she starts talking about team members and all of these other initiatives and cross-training and I'm sitting there white-faced thinking, "this is NOT what I agreed to go back to work full time for" but life goes on right? I always think of things in nine month blocks. Not only is this position very likely only a 9 month stint anyhow, but even if it wasn't I can try it on and choose something different next year.
The summer. It whizzed by. I was taking Cady to Occupational Therapy twice a week to work on sensory issues and that seemed to eat up way too much of our summer. There wasn't as much swimming or playing as I'd hoped, there was anxiety on my part about going back to work and having NOTHING in place from child care to Cady's school and the kids fought like crazy. As you all know we managed to slip in a surprise trip to Disneyland. Lesson learned, do NOT try to surprise a child who is overtired and gravitates toward the predictable. Nevertheless it was a magical trip. We were on the go pretty much from sun-up until well after sundown the entire trip. We visited the beach with the big waves. Cady was a huge fan and Coben not so much. I suppose when the waves are about four times your size it takes on a different feel.
I won't go into the school fiasco in it's entirety but sit back because even if I fast-forward to August it's long. School "choice" has no meaning when your choices have way more demand than the school can meet. We were wait-listed for pretty much everything. We had received our acceptance from Kunsmiller Creative Arts Academy on the south side of Denver but we hadn't had a chance to meet teachers and tour the school so we didn't have much to base our decision on. Finally at the end of July we got a call from our neighborhood school Colfax (where Cady attended 3 yr old preschool) and they had a full-time spot for her with Ms. X(Ms. WHO? I had requested the other teacher who I know is phenomenal but was told they couldn't acommodate requests). So I did what any reasonable parent would do who is faced with having to make a quick decision without getting to meet the teacher. I pulled up her facebook profile, hehe. (I think they call that stalking). And I don't know, she didn't look like a Kindergarten teacher but what can you really tell by a picture. So I made an appointment with the principal and went in and spoke to her. I explained what Cady's needs were based on last year and her OT evaluation. When I pressed the principal on what Ms. McFadden was like her response was, "she did a nice job for us last year". NICE???? That's like the running joke between Rob and me when he said that our relationship was "fine" in our early stages, lol. How about, "she's great! you'll love her! she's very good at what she does." When pressed further she elaborated, "I think that things will be better for her this year. She had some rough kids last year and came on mid-year?" So I ask, "came on mid-year?" and I'm told that the other teacher resigned suddenly. Okay. STRIKE. I work in DPS. I know that the only teachers who have been around yet remain jobless in October are the ones that don't have a very good reputation. So, I ask about art. Art REALLY engages Cady. She gets absorbed in it and is able to tune everthing out around her. I was told they don't have an art teacher and haven't had one. BUT, last year they were able to get a volunteer for six weeks. Six whole weeks huh? So I walked home feeling that it just wasn't a good fit. And I was having a hard time with it because I have always had a "rah rah neighborhood school" mentality. And I'm the first one to say that your neighborhood school is what you make of it. Get involved. Yadda yadda. That day I had a complete and total shift in my thinking. My thinking became, "if a school can't provide what you need. Think of them as a business. If you have a choice why give your business to anyone who offers less than what you are asking for?" And so we accepted at Kunsmiller. On a side note, a friend of mine has her child in Kindergarten at Colfax and says, "That Ms. X scares me. She's the type that takes the fun out of learning. If my child had gotten her as a teacher I think he would probably need psychotherapy." Score one for facebook!

So here we go. I go to register for Kunsmiller and instantly love Cady's teacher. She's young and energetic and has a great philosophy. She's a great communicator and has her bachelor's in music and her master's in early childhood. Great combo. Kunsmiller offers arts classes every day. Cady will have visual art, dance, theater and dance throughout the year in addition to the regular pull-outs like library, PE and technology. And it's a K-12 so she could potentiall stay there. So, day one was a huge success. Ms Shaeffer is a big hugger and had colored playdough and Cady bonded with her almost immediately. But that very same day we get a call from the school up the road that was our first choice. It has a fantastic educational philosophy and has been going strong for 30 years. It was an agonizing decision but we switched. And then regretted it. There's very little diversity at the new school which is fine if you are living in rural Montana but we're not. The teacher didn't seem very communicative and three days after Cady started threw her hands up and said, "I don't know what to do" in response to not being able to get Cady to go to the cafeteria for lunch or the playground afterwards. It just didn't *feel* right. Not to mention that Cady had been pining away for Ms. Schaeffer every single day. "Can I go back to Ms. Schaeffer's class now?" And so, Monday morning I took time off of work and begged our way back into Kunsmiller. Cady is a Kunsmiller Dragon and we stand by that choice. It was a long process but maybe just what we needed to do to feel good about her being in the right place.

Coben LOVES his child care center. He has a little boy crush on one of his teachers, Ms. Gina and gets a little giddy when he says her name. He has made lots of good friends and is happy to go everyday. He has not shed one single tear and now he finally tells us that he didn't like the place he went to last year (mommy gut was right). His happiness has made going back to work much much easier.
So, who are these kids?

Coben. Still addicted to my hair. He still strokes it and twirls it and nearly makes me bald when he is nervous. The other day I was putting him in the carseat after school and he even asked, "mommy, I need to touch your hair". He's got a wickedly dry sense of humor and loves to play. Rob and I are finally emerging from our five year cocoon and having more social time. When families come over to play, Coben gets along with every single kid that comes over. He's just happy to play and have friends. Coben is Rob's child when it comes to rituals and organization. He is very particular about where things go and how things are done.

Cady. I'm not really seeing any remnants of our baby anymore. She is a little girl without a doubt. She still hates shopping with a passion but appreciates cute clothes and wonders outloud, "do you think the girls at my school will like this?" She's becoming a proficient reader and writer and is pure joy when she masters a letter that is hard. She just started Girl Scouts (Daisies!) and is still going strong at gymnastics. She is still best friends with Emma and loves pink, fairies and princesses as much as ever. She wants to me a mermaid for Halloween (as does Coben). She's growing up so much.

Cady and Coben together. At their best they are so much fun. Their interactions are priceless and you can see the pure love. At their worst they are poking, yelling, hitting and tormenting each other in any way they see possible. It's not much different than what I went through with my siblings but let me tell you being on the non-parental side of it is MUCH easier to endure.

Rob survived another take-over and things are continuing to go well for him at work. He got in a fair amount of bike-riding this summer and coordinates a monthly dad's night out for the neighborhood dads. And right now we are just figuring out our balance since I've gone back to work full time. My job is going great. I was ready for a new challenge and being back full time has been great. The position, although not what I thought I was signing up for, still allows me lots of opportunities to work on the teen parent initiative along with all of the other initiatives that DPS has going on this year in the area of Mental Health and Assessment. I'm out and about running from school to school all day long. I don't miss the politics of working IN the school and I realize that I was really ready for this change (even if it does involve training large groups which I HATE). I have the best co-workers and I'm doing something that I really feel strongly about. Who could ask for anything more? Well, not having to walk several blocks to park and then move my car every two hours might be something worth asking for but at least I can claim exercise.
Alicja is back in our lives. I can't always get to Kunsmiller in time to pick Cady up from school. So we decided to pay Alicja a flat amount each month to pick Cady up rather than pay that amount for her to sit in after school care when we only need an extra 15 minutes. The nicest perk is that on the months that Cady doesn't have school for planning days I take some pick-up days off of Alicja's plate and trade her to have Cady all day long so neither of us have to take the day off and she is also willing to pick Coben up early on his once a month early release days. I thought she would think I was crazy to propose a schedule where she essentially only works one hour a day but EVERY day but she accepted. And it's working very well. Whew.
I think we are finding our groove. We might even be, dare I say, FUNCTIONING!?
And with this out of the way I hope to return to some shorter and fluffier blog entries.

Me again, what????

2011-05-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

You all endured part 1 so it's only fair to give you part 2. Remember that fabulous new hair cut? Well, it's really needing a trim right about now. In fact I have an appointment tomorrow. My last one ever with Tracy who is shifting her business to her friend. So sad for me. A hairdresser that you love is hard to find. But I digress because part 1 started with the hair. Part 2 has nothing to do with the hair.

So, let's see. You all know about the Teen Parent Programs being cut. I don't think that I mentioned that after the phone call telling me that my position was eliminated I sent off an email to my Director that I had a feeling was a bad idea yet I was unable to NOT fire it off either because sometimes you just have to speak your mind to put things to rest and move on. (okay, maybe you don't but I do). That particular email thanked him for being kind enough to make a personal call to break the bad news and that I understood that the decision was financially driven yet I also hoped that they would consider looking at a way of restructuring the program so that one person could service all of the schools with the school staff doing the day-to-day services and the teen parent social worker acting as a consultant to the staff and delivering direct services to the students with more intensive needs. It was one of those emails where you don't feel the anxiety until after you hit send.And then you kind of wished that you had felt the anxiety first to prevent you from sending it.

Fast-forward. I posted about DC-21. The school with a great vision and philosophy and somewhat undesirable schedule. Stefanie and I have emailed back and forth and I've been waiting for the position to be posted. I had a month to waver back and forth and this past week I knew with all certainty that it's where I'm supposed to be. I started to get excited about the possibilities attached to the position. As a formality though I had to go to this degrading speed-dating type event for social workers who are officially on part-time assignments to match up with principals who are looking for part-time social workers. I was on the list so I felt like I had to show up because my bosses were there even if I already felt secure in my potential to work at DC-21. Before the first principal was done laying our her grand expectations of the grunt work that she was expecting her new hire to engage in with only two days a week while she was "very involved with what they are doing so that I can be sure that they are priortizing correctly" I wanted to bolt out of the room. And then, this is the part of the story that gets good, my former Director who is now Director of Special Education and Mental Health services motioned for me to come speak to him in the hallway. And on the spot he offered me a position operating the newly created position that would be providing district-wide services to teen parnts. I've worried for the past three years since being in the teen parent program and working closely with him that I have been a little too outspoken at times. And maybe I have but the bottom line is that he picked ME! Except I was too dumbfounded at the moment to appreciate the offer. In fact, I couldn't see him in any other way than as an ex-boyfriend who had come back to me after I was already in a new relationship. "What? You want us to be together? But I'm in LOVE with DC-21. I just got over you!" The only question I asked was how many days the position was (full-time). And because I honestly didn't know how I felt at that moment I asked him to give me some time to think it over.
I went home and Rob listened to me ALL. NIGHT. LONG. ramble on about the pros and cons of each position. I had gotten myself really excited about DC-21 and was now comparing apples to oranges with both having equal amounts of pros and cons (I was trying very hard to not let the fact that it wasn't year round weigh too heavily). So I did what you do when you aren't sure about something. I slept on it. And I woke up and thought, opportunities like this don't come along every day. And I went to work and I shared the news with my co-workers who congratulated me and then had the audacity to snicker out loud when I said, "Hey! I haven't made my decision yet!" They knew. And suddenly I did too. I fired off a list of questions to the Director---Would I have use of a computer and phone? (not just because of working district-wide but I actually worked this entire year with a phone that had no ringer. These are real valid questions if you are working in education). Can I work traditional high school hours? Will I have opportunities for professional development? He responded within the hour. I accepted the position and submitted the necessary forms and today I received this in my inbox:

This email serves as confirmation that you have been recommended for hire for the following position:

Title: TEACHER ON SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT Mental Health and Assesment Regional Support Specialist

Location: Administration-Central Office

FTE: 1
Human Resources will contact you to begin the hiring process. Thank you.

And I can't think about it too hard or I start to get woozy. I'm back to work full-time. A month ago I would have thought that I was a good two years away from going back full-time. (Expect a blog in August about how I feel like my heart is being ripped out being away from my kids for so long). I'm taking on the biggest professional challenge of my life. I could succeed or I could bomb and the future of teen parenting programs will depend on how well or poorly I do (no pressure or anything, right?) The position is ONLY funded for one year with no promises beyond that. I'm taking the plunge.

So, I've realized that it's not so much about the haircut nor is it about the bucket of clothes that I found. I think that this is what being 40 feels like. And I like it!

Night and Day

2011-04-10T16:14:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I find amazing about being the mom of two kids is how uniquely wonderful each child is and in our case I don't think that we could have two that were any more opposite. Cady has always had an intensity and a joy for life that leaves her wondering what is around the next corner. Coben's joy is in the everyday things and he's willing to go wherever the tides take him. If Cady is fire, Coben is water.

For example, Cady came out of the womb screaming. The nurses at the hospital offered no help whatsoever and we didn't even know that there was anything unusual about her screaming for hours at a time instead of sleeping until the nurse commented at check-out, "oh you were the ones in the room with the baby that cried the whole time." Oh? They aren't supposed to do that? The first few months were difficult so in preparation for Coben's arrival we asked Mimi to come stay for a week so that we would have some help this time around. The kid did nothing but sleep the entire time that Mimi was here and the real help ended up being the time that was spent allowing Cady to run and play and not be cooped up with a baby those first few days.

Cady loves to be outdoors and has unlimited energy. Indoor toys have never inspired her and without the ability to run and play she becomes bored rather quickly. She thrives and flourishes on family visits and loves to be around those who love her. Coben on the other hand can push a car around the house for hours going, "vroom vroom" or make tower blocks and crash them over and over. Family visits are okay. Yes, there are extra people around who love him and that he gets a kick out of spending time with but it doesn't absolutely knock his socks off the way it does for Cady.

Cady functions best with rules. She likes to know what the rules are, she likes to make sure everyone knows the rules and she helps enforce the rules for those that aren't following them. When she gets in trouble it is typically for doing things impulsively that fall into the not a good idea spectrum but she has never really tested the limits of time-out and to this day if we count to three she has never allowed us to get to three to see what happens. Rules help her regulate because she is not as systematic as others and it's really lovely because we have been able to tell Cady, "that's just the rules" when she questions something and she is wholly satisfied. Coben on the other hand functions with his own set of rules and all those other ones are just optional. Things have to be a certain way and since I am not a person that is very careful about doing things to completion or in a certain order (Hellooo! Mother of Cady here) he often corrects me. The shopping cart must go back in the corral (I almost always do this but sometimes it's really far and ice cream melting in the hot car is a bigger concern), not wiping off the cart handle because the store is out of clorox wipes can provoke a full-blown melt-down, his pillow has to be turned-over so the picture is facing up. BUT if the rules are the big gnarly PARENT rules it's a whole new ball game. Pushing his sister's buttons (which I must say is NOT hard to do) far outweighs any consequence, time-outs are for escaping and laughing, and I have NO doubt that our parenting skills will be called out in the near future when we count to three, actually hit three, and aren't sure what to do about it.

Another interesting diference is the way that Cady loves to hoard things. Remember the hoarding corner? http://krumpledcady.blogspot.com/2007/07/hoarding-corner.html That has long ago evolved into her entire room being the Hoarding Headquarters. I'm amazed at what she collects. Packets of sugar from a restaurant, the green twisty things from the produce section of the grocery store, the clips that close the bread and keep it from getting stale, rocks, shells, twigs, buttons, stickers, ticket stubs, and anything that can fit in her pocket. In fact, we were at the grocery store earlier using the self check-out and I turn around to see that she has swiped several plastic grocery bags. I put my foot down on that one and had her return them since we have at least 100 of them stuffed under our sink already only to be confronted a short time later in the car by some tree flowers and a white rock that she had smuggled from the parking lot. When I questioned her about it in the car she told me with total and complete conviction that she worries about these random objects being lonely and not having a family to love them and take care of them. If you are a fan of The Middle, this may lead you to a flashback of the episode where Sue can't get rid of her electric curlers because they are a family and will be lonely without each other, right? It certainly did for me! And forget about tossing stuff. I either have to do it when she is not around and even then she has been known to rescue said items from the trash because she has a nack for discovering even seemingly well-buried objects or we have a discussion which doesn't always work. She's got great logic (some would say inargueable) about why we can't throw the one-legged doll away. "Would you do that to a person?" Her bed. Well, I can't even describe her bed except to say that it reminds me of a hamster nest. The covers are always in a ball and the bed is full of friends. And the bed pictured here has been compromised DOWN to this many "friends".

How does this differ from Coben? Coben has a couple of stuffed animals in his bed and those stuffed animals positively annoy him at bedtime. He gets into bed and immediately starts slinging animals out. "No Bonz! No Doh-no! No Long Dog!" His bed has to be clutter-free. He has to have three blankets, no more, no less and they can't be bunched up. His feet have to be covered up in order to sleep well. Order order order.

Finally, the last big difference is shopping. Cady absolutely abhors shopping. If I could plan the worst day ever it would be to spend the day at the mall, followed by grocery shopping and then a trip to Coscto. Even if the shopping trip is dedicated 100% to shopping for clothes for Cady she HATES it. Coben cannot get enough. When I tuck him in on a Thursday night and we talk about the day ahead he gets excited and squeals, "Store? Groceries?" This week, every day off that I had was dedicated to shopping. We had Easter shopping to do, Shopping for Cady's birthday, I had to return a paint set that we bought for Cady, we hit two grocery stores. And after every store, as I would put Coben in his car seat he would hold up one finger and flash a charming smile, "one more store? please mommy?" For Cady, being confined to a cart = torture. . For Coben it's time for him to act silly and get 100% attention from his mom. He plots out our grocery store route. First soup samples, then a free cookie, "paytime" and a grand finale penny horsey ride. And when we are finished (you know, AFTER the cart has gone back to the corral), he is delighted to "help" unload groceries. I'm usually less than delighted by the "help" because grocery shopping almost always takes way longer than I think which runs into well past lunch time and my mission is to hurry and put stuff away so I can fix lunch and get him down for a nap so that he is then awake in time to pick Cady up from school. "Helping" with groceries means carrying a small bag and dramatically groaning "Ughhhhh....hebby hebby hebby!" while items fall out on the way to the door. Me standing AT the door with 6-8 bags of my own which really ARE heavy while blocking the door with my foot so Fibi doesn't run out all the while trying to maintain my "boy are you really helping" facade by chirping, "Great job Coben, keep walking. Okay don't set the bag down there we need to bring it in. Good job, you're almost here. Yes that's a spider web on the window. Yes, spiders made that. Nope, I don't see any spiders right now. Almost there Coben, c'mon!"

Speaking of spiders here's a total side note. We have been infested! It's like one mom and dad spider got busy a LOT and had a bazillion offspring that all look identical and freak the kids out. On a nightly basis Cady calls Rob in to exterminate at least one spider sometimes more. It's like she lays in bed looking for them. She avoid areas of the house if she sees a spider there and we narrowly avoided a head injury the other day when she jumped out of the bath naked and sopping wet and tore down the hallway screaming, "Spider in the bath, spider in the bath!". I hate spiders too and so when Rob is not around I get to be the exterminator. It's rare that I am as humane as Rob with his catch and release method and for some reason nearly all of my attempts to exterminate have resulted in me swatting a spider who disappears in the process and then trying to keep my cool in front of Cady and act completely unafraid while inwardly having a near panic attack wondering if the spider has landed somewhere on me like in my hair or down my shirt while reassuring her in a fake composed voice, "yep, looks like I got him. He's right here on this shower curtain package and I'm just going to go throw him away." So Coben has picked up on Cady's fear and between the two of them anytime they see a spider they are both prone to squealing, "Spider Spider SHRIEEEEK!" or in Coben's case "Pider Pider, SQUEAAAL!" So really they are not all that different!

Those of us that know us well I pose this question. Do you see any similiraties between our children and us? It's eerie isn't it? I'm appalled when I see what new treasures are exhibited in Cady's room and then I reflect on Rob's horror everytime he has to retrieve something from my purse, "I don't even like going in there. What IS all that stuff? No wonder you can never find your keys." I hear myself saying to the kids, "You can't go into the playplace without socks. I don't care what others are doing, those are the rules!" or to Rob, "It says that only kids are allowed on the slides" as Rob throws caution to the wind and comes barrelling down on his stomach. And I remember being incredulous at my own brother's stubborness as a 7 year old and how he was more willing to stand in the bathroom for 5 minutes fully-dressed with the shower running pretending to shower rather than just take a shower. And then there is Rob. The one who puts groceries away (ie, all of the items that I pulled from the pantry to make dinner) before I have had a chance to use them. Rob whose worst hoarding offense is not purging old overused T-shirts. Rob who would never fathom committing a grocery store faux pas like putting the salt that you no longer need in the aisle with the soup because it's closer. Rob who regulates his own actions but will roll his eyes if someone else tries to do it.

I find it rather fascinating that we could create two uniquely differerent kids with equally big personalities. And I find humor in the fact that I am living with two men who will keep me guessing where my clutter has gone because they have organized it away. And in turn they will be living with two women who will be calling upon them to help them find misplaced articles because they are too busy plotting for whatever is around the next corner instead of noticing where they put their sunglasses.

This one is for me

2011-03-25T22:08:00.000-07:00

...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer -Rainer Maria Rilke-.

I think it started with the hair cut. Several inches were cut off and I feel like a new person. And then Rob discovered some tubs of clothes that I didn't even remember having put away. Work clothes. Nice work clothes. Lots of work clothes. Pre-pregnancy work clothes that fit! It was like going on a huge shopping spree. My closet is full again, my clothes fit and I have a new hair cut!

My hair wasn't the only thing that was cut recently. My teen parent program was cut as well. And as much as I love delivering teen parent services my sadness of losing the program left as soon as my hair did. Is it possible that new hair can give you a whole new outlook?

I had some leads for positions but everyone of them felt like I was settling. They were under the radar jobs where I could probably have good boundaries with my time and not overextend myself. Instead of recognizing that I'm not an under the radar kind of person I'd convinced myself that my lack of enthusiasm was because I've lost my love for school social work. I half-heartedly sent my director my list of prefereces for next year 1-High School 2-Alternative Programming 3-Able to do some teen parent work 4-In the neighborhood and I hit send. And I thought, this doesn't exist. All of the good schools are taken. Our jobs are being outsourced and most of the central support services have been cut so what we are left with is a big surplus of social workers and psychologists vying for a few positions.

Tuesday I attended a community network meeting. These meetings are intended for those that are in the helping professions to get familiar with the resources in the community. The meeting starts with all 100 of us standing up and one by one introducing ourselves and sharing information about our agency. Then this woman stood up and talked about her alternative high school opening up in the fall. And she shared that it's an innovation school and a whole new way of educating students based on how we live our lives today and what's that? It's in the neighborhood? I looked at my intern sitting next to me and said, "I have to meet that woman." The next hour and a half I shot glances back several rows to look at the person that I had to meet. She looked unapproachable and at some moments she even looked kind of mean. I was sure that she had already posted the position and that someone had already pounced on it. I almost talked myself out of meeting her. Then she walked out and I followed her. And then I waited in line while others talked with her and then I did it. I introduced myself and asked if she had filled her support staff positions yet. She said that she had not posted the position yet because she was trying to get approval to hire a full-time social worker. (GULP. full time? I hadn't played that scenario out in my head). She took my information and said that she really liked that I had worked in alternative education and that I was doing teen parent work because she anticipated that she would have teen parents at the school. Before leaving work that same day my Assistant Principal who I love said she knew a school that would be perfect for me and I'll give you one guess which school she mentioned (nah, that's too easy).

That evening I sent Stefanie my resume and pitched the idea that if she could not secure full-time funding that I would be willing to spread a four day position into five day coverage (I'm thinking about it being a win-win since maybe it would shorten my day so I can pick Cady up from school and not have to worry about after-school care). The next day she emailed me back and asked me to come in and meet with her even though the position hasn't been posted yet (a requirement of the district). So we talked today. She says that she wants to work with me. I love the mission of the school. I really connected well with her. I am freaked out by going back to work nearly full-time (four full days and a one hour staff meeting every Friday) and about the possibility that I might have to look at after-school care for Cady. I'm worried about how we'll get it all done (grocery shopping, cleaning, house repairs) while driving kids to and from school and activities while also working most of the week. And I'm thinking, should I be accepting a position when I don't even know where Cady is going to school and where will Coben go? I hate that she said that the position is going to be a year-round position which poses a new issue as in what do we do with the kids for the summer? And then there is a small part of me that is freaked out by going after something aggressively because what if I don't live up to my own hype? But because I have new hair I am 100% certain that I am ready to start living the questions.

Killer Lobster

2011-03-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank whoever sent the lobster to Cady. I'd like to think that it was Mimi or Chris and Sophie. She received it probably about a year ago and it was one of those toys that you put into water and it grows. A year ago that caused no problem. Today is a whole different story.

Last night Cady found the lobster again in the bottom of her toy bin. The thing is maybe about 3 inches long. She told me about it and then put it in a cup of water and here's the problem. Her dad told her, "It's not that kind of lobster" and "It's not going to grow."

Fast forward to this morning. I'm in the shower and Cady is yelling at me, "Mom, you have to come quick!" Why when I'm showering is her favorite time to do this I'll never know but it certainly wasn't the first time she's said this. So I ask her to please tell me what is important enough that I have to jump out of the shower with shampoo in my hair to see. She starts to get upset (and indignant) but won't tell me. I refuse to get out and she returns just moments later with a cup. Inside the cup is THE LOBSTER. The lobster who has now doubled (maybe tripled?) in size. Cady tells me, "I can't handle this mom. This wasn't supposed to grow. I need it out of the house. I can't live with this thing." I'm chuckling, look inside the cup and tell her, "Oh my god it just moved!" and she screams. Not screams but SCREAMS. Screams and shakes. A high-pitched glass shattering very long scream. And I feel like a rotten mom because I didn't know it was THAT big of a deal at this point since Cady tends to be on the dramatic side in general. So I apologize and she persists that she can't be in the same house with this creature. Coben overhears this and grabs the cup. And just like his daddy does when the girls need spider removal, he takes the lobster outside and dumps it on the ground in front of the door. Since we were running late for school I picked it up and set it on the window ledge outside.

Fast forward again. Now we are rushing off to school. We walk out the door and SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Screaming AND shaking, again. "It moved mom. I KNOW that thing was on the ground. I just know it was. How did that happen. Something is wrong with that thing. That thing is bad. I can't handle this!!"

Thank you for the laugh bearer of the gift but the lobster is now in the TRASH. If we've learned anything from the crazy monkey in Toy Story 3 to the book There's a Nightmare in my Closet, it's that these things can cause us to have to share our bed for months. And since we are dealing with a little guy who now has a big boy bed we just so happen to already a blanket-toting toddler pushing his way in every 2 a.m. The lobster MUST die!

Big Sisters

2011-02-13T19:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it can be really tough having a sister. There are days that she yells at me all day long because she thinks that I am a pesty brother that wants to get into all of her stuff. I only get into all of her stuff because she never lets me play with any of it. In fact, she doesn't even let me into her room. We have really bad days sometimes. Those are the days that my mom says we are oil and water.

But then there are good days, When my sister decides to be nice to me I am the happiest kid on the block. I live for those days. When she is nice to me she lets me touch her favorite stuff, she shares treats with me, she chases and tickles me and she hugs me and let's me hold her hand in the back of mom's car.

I do things for my sister that I don't do for anyone else. My sister is the first one who taught me to smile. My mom didn't even know this. I was only a few months old when she was trying to take my picture and Cady said, "he can smile if you ask him to" and my mom gave her a look like, "yeah, sure" and then she told me, "Smile Coben" and I put my finger to my eye and flashed my toothless gums. I have since grown teeth but to this day I still put my finger to my eye. My sister taught me how to do that girly scream that my parents refer to as the "outdoor voice". I love how my sister and I can do that scream together and my mom's whole body tenses up and she gives us THE LOOK. We just laugh because it's our thing. My sister taught me to jump off of the coffee table onto the couch and she sticks up for me ALWAYS when other kids aren't nice to me...even on the days that she thinks I am a pesty brother. And it's because of my sister that the dentist lady said I was the best almost two year old that she has ever worked on. I watched my big sister go first and after seeing how brave she was I knew that I could do it too.

My sister doesn't know yet how important she is to me. She doesn't know that this pesty brother is the only one who can see that she already has those fairy wings that she so badly wants. My sister is glitter, and fairy-wings and everything that is wonderful in the world.

Like father like son...and Smarty McSmarterson

2011-02-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

School choices...waiting, waiting, waiting.

Top three choices:

1-JeffCo Open School. It's a five minute drive and a K-12 school. The school is not based on a traditional grading/credit system. The kids take more ownership for their learning and graduate when they show competency in all areas rather than when a certain period of time has passed. Grade levels are often mixed together for different subjects based on a student's needs and a lot of the learning takes place outside of the classroom. The school takes a holistic approach to the child and considers personal and social growth as important as intellectual growth. It's been around for 40 years and lots of families that I've talked to really like it.

2-Brown Elementary. A couple of minutes away. A traditional school with a lot of really fantastic and progressive things going on (an International Baccalaureate Program). Their approach to learning is to meet the student where they are and have them progress monitor themselves in the hopes that they are showing growth and competenecy rather than being compared to their peers. They have a scratch kitchen where the cook with a lot of local and organic products and a daily salad bar with vegetables that the students grow in their own garden. We know people with kids there which is a bonus and also know that the lottery applicants FAR exceed the number of spots. .

3-A very traditional school also about five minutes away. Cady loves the playground so this gets her top vote. Not as progressive as option 2 but also has a very large lottery where applicants far exceed the number of spots.

So,applications are all in and we should be hearing in the next couple of weeks.

Cady is part of the Denver Preschool Program which is a program that evaluates preschool programs and assists ALL Denver families with tuition. I didn't realize that as part of the program they would be administering the Woodcock Johnson III which is a test of cognitive ability. She was tested back in August and the results came in the mail today and it confirms what a sharp litttle cookie she is. For those that aren't familiar with testing, the percentile rank indicates the percentage of students in the group who tested at or below the child's score. So 48th percentile would mean that 52% of kids tested higher than your child. Cady's scores:

Vocabulary 129 Percentile rank 97
Developing reading skills 124 Percentile rank 95
Math 124 Percentile rank 95

So, those incredible (maddening if you are her parents) negotiation skills that she has....yeah.

Coben is following in his dads footsteps. He really enjoys order and cleanliness. Things have got to be a certain way and items must be put away after use. Yesterday I was putting groceries away and grocery bags were strewn all over the kitchen. Coben gathered them up and walked up to me and said, "mama. All done bags?" When I told him "yes" he then looked at me and said, while nodding his head, "trash, yes?" and proceeded to gather and toss. That is typical Coben. He's also as caring and cuddly as ever. He spent several days in my arms cuddling b/c of a fierce cold that he had and that he then passed on to me. One day as my nose and eyes were both running he walked up to me and said, "Tissue mama, yes?" while looking at me with the same look that his dad has when he is concerned. And then he ran off to get me some tissues.

The full Cady sick story. I picked her up from school on Friday. When I walked into the classroom she was laying down. Any of you that know Cady knows that she never voluntarily lays down. They said she didn't eat anything for lunch and had been laying down all afternoon. I got her out to the car and she refused her Friday ice cream. As I was driving home I heard her whimper in the back and I looked up in my rear view mirror long enough to catch THE LOOK. Any of you that know me well know that I cannot handle vomit. I can see vomit in a parking lot and involuntarily start retching. So I did the only thing I could think of doing. I grabbed the tote bag that I keep in the front seat that I use as a catch-all. The one that I haven't emptied in a month. And I thrust it back at her still full b/c I could tell it was coming and I couldn't find a spot to pull over. And she emptied lots and lots of her stomach into that bag. And then the smell hits me and I start retching, LOUDLY. So the three of us (Coben is unphased of course) are driving in the freezing cold snow with the windows down, me retching loudly, and Cady crying. And Rob gets husband of the year for cleaning out the bag and salvaging the things that needed to be salvaged.

Coben's child care is a success. He has not shed one tear. Rob took him the first day, he walked in and didn't look back. When i picked him up he was sitting at the table doing art with the other kids and he looked SO grown up and certainly in no hurry to leave. He took his very first nap on a matt on the floor and had no issues. Shannon said that he was amazing and did not require any help with the transition whatsoever.

The kids went to a pediatric dentist last week. Coben allowed them to floss, polish and examine his teeth. Even with a cold and a molar about to erupt the dentist said that he was hands-down the best almost two year old that they have ever had. Thanks goes to Cady who is also a great dental patient and modeled it for her little brother by going first. The good news, they are both in the "No Cavity Club" and the not so good news, Orthodontics are in both of their futures due to overcrowding.

Parent Teacher Conference

2011-01-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

Rob and I met with the Director of Cady's preschool program yesterday. What I thought was going to be a quick meeting turned into an hour long conference. We learned a lot but we weren't really told anything new. Cady is her own person, shocker! She gets along well with the other kids, is a great sharer, is well behaved but sometimes separates herself because she gets really overwhelmed with too much going on around her. She does the same thing with learning materials. If she doesn't get it right away she is quick to give up because she gets overwhelmed quickly. Mona says that is often true of intelligent people that learn easily. Knowledge comes easily but tasks that take practice that aren't able to be perfected on the first try can be terribly frustrating. Cady is also very rules-driven, loves structure and intensely dislikes transitions and new situations. If you've been around Cady for any length of time you know that one of her favorite phrases is, "What are we doing next or what are we doing tomorrow?" Mona said in all seriousness that the perfect classroom setting for Cady would be outdoors where she would move freely and not have to worry about filtering out the sounds around her. Homeschooling in Ripley anyone?

But really, how does one find a school that is structured with a strong emphasis on rules yet lets one learn at their own pace? Again, if you know Cady, you know that you can show her a concept and she will go into her own space and hammer it out until she gets it. Spend too much time "teaching" and she's done. I remember how last year at Colfax she went from loving school to resisting school all because of the structured time that they had to spend practicing writing their names. Montessori has the self-paced learning but the rules and structure aren't there as much as a traditional setting. A traditional setting has more structured time an will probably not be as overwhelming to Cady, yet the self-paced learning isn't really there. And because of the lottery system and living in a neighborhood where demand exceeds availability it's not like I really get to do more than just state my preference anyhow and hope our number gets picked. I worry most because I think the first few years are what make or break your love of school. I'm not as concerned with academics as I am about a good match to foster Cady's love of learning or rather avoiding an environment that doesn't recognize her learning style.
Why is this so important? Didn't we all just go to the school closest to our house and turn out fine? Is this another case of too much information causes us to overthink? What is the line between wanting the best for your kids and helicopter parenting? Really, I don't mind honest feedback on these questions because my head is spinning big time.
On a much lighter note. The moment in the meeting that brought tears to both of our eyes. Mona was flipping through Cady's portfolio and marveling at how she knows all of her letters both capital and small. She was able to identify all of the shapes including oval and hexagon. She showed us pictures that she drew and things that she has written but the proudest moment was when she came to a sheet of paper that looked very much like an incident report. In fact, I thought it was and I was bracing myself when Mona started to read.

"Harper and Chandler were playing together in the playhouse. Chandler told Harper, 'You cannot be in my club'. Cady was in another center engaged in another activity yet walked over and told Chandler, 'You won't let Harper into your club and that is not nice. You hurt her feelings and made her feel sad. Harper, you can be a part of my club."

Seeing Stars

2011-01-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

It escapes me how our parenting logic has gone out the window with child #2. What happened? One would think that the first child is an experiment and the second child is when you have it figured out. Why is that not the case?

Coben has been FIGHTING us on brushing his teeth. Every single night it has been a battle to get him to release the toothbrush from his tiny fists and to open up his mouth. We always win but it involves screaming and tears (Coben), sweat (US) and lots of begging (US again).

Last week Cady walks out of the bathroom and proudly tells us that she brushed Coben's teeth and he opened up and everything. Huh. Okay. I'm not sure why or how but I'm just glad. The next night I witness it for myself. Coben opens his mouth wide and Cady delves in an gives him a good oral scrubbing.

And then....

She produces a gold star. She found the same package of stars that we have had since she was a baby. The very same stars that we bought in order to reward tooth-brushing. The very same stars that went on her tooth-brushing sticker chart. The chart that Coben doesn't have. Huh. Thank you Cady for re-teaching us how to parent. We seem to have forgotten somewhere along the way.

And tooth-brushing I might add has been a breeze ever since.

Coben...sweet sweet Coben

2010-12-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

Coben is approaching two. I don't need a calendar to tell me that. It's evident when our sweet sweet boy is in time-out 5 times per hour for most of the day. No kidding. He's a hitter. He loves it. You can see the pure joy on his face as he winds up his arm and WHAP! hits his sister two, three, four, "COBEN!! Stop hitting your sister!!! Please go sit in your naughty chair." And a smile spreads across his face as he trucks down the hall and plants himself in his "naughty chair" beanbag in the corner of his room. His posture is SO good when he sits there. He doesn't fidget or play. He just sits erectly and waits until he gets a dismissal. And within minutes he walks up to the dog and "WHAP WHAP WHAP!" and he's back in the naughty chair.

He wants to test it all out. The grocery store. "What happens if I hit my mom in the face. I'm sitting here in the cart and she is right in front of me and WHAP! Hmmm. She didn't respond. I think she is trying to ignore me. I'll mock her the next time. WHAP! Now I'm going to open my mouth and make a gasping sound like she does when she is shocked at what I've done. Oh, oh, oh, I think I'm getting to her. One more time, this should do it. WHAP! YES YES YES!! A time-out! That's what I was aiming for. And next to the tortilla display this time. Yippeeeee!"

And he's very obvious. He waits until I'm in the room and then he starts whacking Cady and watches me at the same time. I try not to give him the reaction that he is looking for but it's back to the naughty chair.

I guess Cady went through this. I don't really remember because I think I was more horrified just at the thought of her hitting. I was afflicted by first time mom-itis! "Why is she hitting? OMG, we don't hit. Where would she learn that? She doesn't go to daycare. But kids don't just hit do they?" HA! Anyhow, Rob the Historian assured me that Cady did this. And she also had several days of 20+ time-outs and that this too is just another phase that will pass. In the meantime, if you plan on visiting, wear protective gear.

Religion

2010-12-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

It started with this.

Cady: "Mom, is Santa going to die one day?"
Me: "Nope, he lives forever"
Cady: "What about God Obama?"

And last night as we passed the courthouse on the way to the zoo it was this.
Cady: "Is that the jail or God?"

and from that it evolved into this.
Cady: "Is Jesus still a baby?
Me: "No, he was a baby a long long time ago and then he grew up"
Cady: "Does he have his kids?"
Me: "Rob, did he? No, wait, never mind, of course he didn't"

Religion. I have my own beliefs and they do involve God. But I just don't buy into any one religion being the "right" religion. I believe, like I do with most things in life, that there is a grain of truth in everything and that is why I am drawn to the same church that some of my friends attend. I want the kids to understand religion and to make up their own minds. Here is the basic premise:

...that there is a Golden Thread of Spiritual Truth that weaves through the world’s Faith traditions. That among these threads of truth we understand the Oneness of God is found in Its creation, that the power of Love heals, and that we live, move and have our very being in pure Spirit. Because of this we blend the rich and diverse experiences of spiritual tradition to honor the many paths to God.

Rob and I agree that the kids need some information and if they are armed then the hope is that they will make better decisions. If I know that we hae done our part then I think we will feel more equipped to handle it if Cady is drawn toward Catholocism and wants to become a Catholic one day (I don't know, can you become Catholic?) Some day in the future Coben might meet a nice Jewish girl and convert to Judaism. It happens. But the bottom line is that it's time. The questions are being asked and we want to provide answers.

24th Blog!!!

2010-11-29T21:34:00.000-08:00

I just saw that in 2007, the year that I started blogging, I posted over 90 times. And then in 2008 I posted about 90 times. 2009, the year of the brother my posts declined to the 60s. And then I saw that this current year, wich is over in one short month, only has a pathetic 23 entries!! So, this is a fluff entry to beef up my numbers a bit. I hope you enjoyed it. ;)

When did it happen?

2010-11-29T21:00:00.000-08:00

Just when did I get so dumb? I used to know things. I could recite movie quotes, tell jokes, talk about articles that I'd recently read. I don't know things anymore and I think this started when Cady became verbal. Let me share an example from just this evening.

Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: (amused and wanting her to repeat it because I'm getting a kick out of it) "Say it again! I'm trying to guess who it is."
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know this, I know this! One more time!"
Cady: "Confidity and beyond!"
Me: "I know, I know. It's Buzz Light Year from Toy Story!!"
Cady: "No, it's Woody"
Me: "I think Buzz is the one who says 'Infinity and beyond!"
Cady: (and you all know the tone of voice)"No mom. It's Woody and it's Con-fid-i-ty!"

Why even argue...

Thanksgiving then Christmas

2010-11-19T21:39:00.000-08:00

Less than a week until Thanksgiving. Cady made an astute observation while we were watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonight. The episode was chock full of Christmas commercials and Cady announced, "Everyone is thinking about Christmas but nobody is thinking about Thanksgiving." She doesn't even know just how correct she is since her own mom has not even started planning a grocery list yet. Originally we were going to try to get home to Vegas to visit my family. It sounded great in theory but all kinds of details got in the way. We knew that we would not be able to afford to fly because not only does it involve an expensive holiday price tag on the tickets themselves but then we have to rent a car and car seats. Cha-ching. So, we thought we'd drive and that is where the details just kind of screwed everything up. It started with having my oil changed and learning that the tread on my tires is just about non-existent. That's $600 that not only do we not have but makes spending that mere $40 at Motel 6 on the way up and the way back feel like the price of staying at the Ritz. And then more details. I have to work Tuesday. That would mean leaving Wednesday and getting there mid-day on Thanksgiving. It means staying one full day and then two more days in the car. Two days in the car with one kid to get to Wisconsin was nearly torturous. Two kids for two days with only one day in between doing it again...yeah, admit it, you wouldn't like it either. And let's throw in the final detail. We would be driving through the Rockies. Throw in some snow and it's possible that we'd end up driving five days and only stay 1/2 day. So, we are resuming our annual Thanksgiving with the Shaw's tradition (that would be Emma's family). This is our fourth or fifth Thanksgiving together so it's a pretty awesome consolation prize! I'm sad to miss yet another opportunity to see my family though. Perhaps this summer.
Cady has been very concerned about Santa. She is starting to question his powers. Does he live forever? How does he get into our house? And the most anxiety-provoking question of all. "Can he see me when I am going to the bathroom?" I am so glad that she was able to say that out loud. I remember how completely freaked out I was at that age believing that Santa, God and my deceased Grandmother could all see me when I was going to the bathroom. I never questioned it, I just spent a few years being weirded out by it.
Rob and I are making an effort to do what we can to split up the present buying in order to not get hit all at once in December. And what that means is that aside from Christmas jammies we are DONE buying for the kids! Santa scored a great train table on Craig's List for Coben. Thank God Wall-E ate one of our couches so we have somewhere to put it. He's not a naughty dog, he's a visonary. Santa is getting Cady a Baby All Gone and a doll crib. And Rob and I are going light on presents from us. Done done done!! The big prize is the tent that Santa is getting them. I can't wait until Christmas night when they will be allowed to put their blankets and pillows in there and sleep together. I also realize that I'm probably romanticizing how that is going to go but I just love the image so much that I'm blocking out the image of possible screaming, hair-pulling, tears, and an eventual separation.
Coben is getting Cady a pillow pet which will earn Coben HUGE points. Cady started talking about wanting a pillow pet when she first saw the commercial almost a year ago. And since then pretty much every child she knows has a pillow pet. She is quick to tell us who has them, who just got one, and how many they have. Emma has one. Maddie up the street has two. Pretty much every kid in her class has one. Every Wednesday is show-and-tell and every week I look in the show and tell box to retrieve Cady's show and tell choice and there are always pillow pets in there. Well, we figured a year is long enough to suffer. Us, not her. We are the ones that have been hearing about it for months!
And Cady is getting Coben a truck. He's a little obsessed. As Mimi can attest, give him a truck and he's occupied for a loooong time.
I'm in the midst of finding child care for Coben. It's never an easy task. I posted to my mom's group and I think we may possibly have someone. She has an 18 month and a 3 month old daughter so I think she is crazy but she seems nice. And Coben is so darned easy-going that I think he'll be fine pretty much anywhere with a good vibe.
Cady is thriving at preschool. She comes home singing songs and is learning to read. I checked out a flip-a-word book out of the library and she started reading that very night. She sounds out words all of the time and tries to spell everything. Her ears will no longer be pierced soon. She has no lobes. This isn't something I had realized until they were marking her ears to pierce them. Somehow her earring nearly tore through the lobes so I had to take them out. She decided that it's okay to let them close up once I told her that putting them back in was going to hurt.
Her imagination is out of control and she's been in our bed via middle of the night awakenings for over two months now. It started when her teacher read, "There's a Nightmare in my Closet" and I'm tempted to call her at 3 a.m.just to spread the joy. This too shall pass, right? Coben on the other hand sleeps in his own bed all night. He comes in around 6 and dozes for another 1/2 hour to an hour. Then he wakes up and lays on top of me. He puts his nose right up against mine and whispers, "Hi mama." Every morning he does this and every morning I wake up with a melty heart. It's the best.
Wall-E continues going to obedience class and he's a constant reminder of why we are cat people. Jenny continues to eat herself silly and still manages to get herself locked in random small places for hours on end on a consistent basis. Fibi just keeps on smiling. And the rest of us? We are just so thankful for everything that we have and for the people in our lives and that life is good.

The Holidays are a-comin

2010-10-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

It's October? Really? What happened to August and September? I'll tell you. Gone. Time spent driving the kids to and from school. Ballet, Tap, Music Class, and Gymnastics. Physical Therapy for me twice a week. Trying to squeeze in exercise. And then school events. Blogging time? Forget about it. When we are not running I just want to turn off.

School has been going well. We are really happy with Cady's school. She is so excited about learning again and she is growing by leaps and bounds. She is starting to sound out words and attempting to link those sounds together to make her own written words. Coben is in love with his new BFF Leo. There was a time when I would come to pick him up and he would run to me, hug me and head for the door. And now it's a fight to get his shoes on and I have to practically beg him to leave with me.
The picking Cady up from school ritual is beautiful. Every single day, whether we are pressed for time or not, we MUST engage in the rituals.
The rituals:
We park the car and enter the building. Coben must open the door all by himself. He waves to the security guard. We have to stop and look in all of the display cases. We must then run up the ramp and get a drink from the water fountain. Then it's running down the hallway and looking in the display cases up there. Then we walk into the room and Coben shrieks, "Cady!" and runs in to find her to give her a hug. As I'm checking out he must wash his hands and dry them. And then we leave and we repeat the rituals on the way out with the addition of climing up onto the wall and running on the ledge. And he must sit on the end before he gets down. If any of this is out of order or not done there is a price to pay and it's not pretty. I made the mistake one day of using the restroom and for days afterword Coben ran to the restroom and yelled, "mama!" because he was sure that using the restroom was a new addition. Anyhow, it's very trying but watching him burst into the room to find his sis is priceless. Watching him mimic everything that she does when they walk out of the school together is better than priceless.

Cady is going to be a fairy for Halloween. I am going to be a tooth fairy. Rob and I haven't really dressed up since we've had kids so I thought I'd surprise her this year and join her in the fairy theme. She and I went to the thrift store and wedged ourself into this tiny dressing room placed right at the head of the check-out lines which were hellaciously busy since it was 50% off day. If you were one of the customers waiting in line you probably heard me raise my voice more than a couple of times, "Cady, quit opening the door when I'm undressed!" What can I say, the kid fidgets. And fidgeting with the door lock is not exception. I decided that trying on large pouffy dresses with a four year old in a 2'x2' cube is no fun and I have no doubt that Cady would agree with me. But we ARE outfitted. Rob, not so much. I tried to find him something but let me tell you. One sure way to offend Cady is to suggest that her dad dress up as ANYTHING with a feminine flair. Whew!

And here comes Christmas. Cady doesn't watch tv anymore except for one show at night if she has earned it. Saturday and Sunday we are more liberal and she has been known to watch a few Sponge Bob's in a row before we shut it off. And with tv comes tv commercials. Nearly every commercial elicits this response:
"Mom, Dad, I want this!"
"What does it do?"
"I don't know but I want it!"
OR
"Mom, Dad, I want this! It bends and twists and you can tie it up and it's only 19.99 but you have to be 18 to order and you get a free extra bendy-twisty thing if your order now!"
I made her a little book tonight. The plan is for her to use it to cut and paste pictures of what she wants into it so that we can later discuss. Really, it's a way to channel all of those wants and hopefully she'll see how accumulative those wants are and realize the challenge in narrowing down her top wants.

Cady vocab. I've been writing these down.
Yo-grit=yogurt
Thingers=Fingers
Hump-is=Compass (mine and Rob's personal favorite. Arrested adolescent humor I guess)
carfume=perfume
Endevelope=Envelope

And Coben. Yes folks, he can talk. Things are finally clicking for him and he realizes that words=power. "No" is a favorite. "Cady" ranks right up there too. He's just a talking machine. And he is still sleeping. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall but it hasn't yet. We tuck him in and he's out. He does like to wake up at 5 and for lack of better words...it SUCKS. But, it sure beats the all night wake ups that another little person used to put us through. And naps are a breeze. We so deserve this. We paid our dues into this club.

Wall-E. Still an asshole. Rob is sitting here with me and that was his contribution to the blog. :) He's our asshole though and the kids love him. He'll never be a cat and one day we'll come to terms with that.

Jenny and Fibi. Our fair-weathered friends are back to sleeping with us again now that Fall is in the air. Jenny has been hacking. In fact, she pretty much did it next to my ear all night long last night. Please please please don't let her have another obstruction.

Why does this feel like a Christmas letter? I remember that Rob and I started to feel normal after Cady was about 2. So, seeing as how Coben has about 5 more months I'm confident that the blog will be more bloggy and less Christmas-lettery sometime after March. Eek, I will be 40!!

I think I'll go process that!

Updating the blog

2010-09-02T12:08:00.000-07:00

I think about it. A lot. It's alwasy somewhere in the back of my mind, "Paula, it's been a while since you've blogged. Don't you think you should write SOMETHING?" I think about how I really should write a synopsis of our time in Maine. About how we rarely saw Cady and the fun that she had getting around the clock adult attention. She had a fairy-finding, sea-treasure-seeking, rock-climbing, berry-picking, pie-making, book-reading, row-boat riding good time!

But the thought of breaking it down overwhelms me.

The very night that we got back from our 2 week hiatus there was an email that I opened at 11:00 that night that said that work was starting a day early and that I was supposed to be back that next morning? Now how do you cancel a dog obedience appointment, a hair appointment, get some basic food items back into the house (milk anyone?) and find child care on 7 hours notice? That pretty much defines how it started when we returned and it just hasn't stopped. So when Mimi sent me an email today asking how things are going and I found myself with a 20 minute lunch break at work, I answered. And I realized that I had just about written a blog. So, to alleviate the pressure that I feel (from myself) I am cutting and pasting a quick update and calling it....DONE!!

Cady absolutely LOVES school. The director came to our house before school started to meet our family and let Cady take her on a tour of the house. What a brilliant idea b/c on Cady's first day she was pretty apprehensive going in but when she saw Ms. Mona's familiar face her whole body relaxed. And Ms. Mona was able to say, "Cady you have a Hello Kitty shirt just like the Hello Kitty pillow that you have on your bed that you showed me!" A brilliant engagement strategy! It's a very child-centered happy classroom. The food is catered in from a nearby senior living community and it is fabulous. The kid is eating a morning buffet (served family style) of eggs, BACON, blueberry panckakes and fresh fruit and although I haven't seen the lunches or snacks Cady's describes them as holding up to the same standards as breakfast. She loves that she finally encountered some monkey bars that are HER height and she never stops talking about Ms. Mona. She had her very first show and tell yesterday and brought a couple of pictures from Ripley (ripped out of a 2003 calendar since we didn't get it together in time) and her collection of sea treasures. She claimed that she wasn't shy and felt very brave sharing.

Coben seems to be adjusting well. It's a hoot to pick him up in the afternoon and watch him play with his little same-aged friend Leo. They seem to get along well and Coben doesn't seem in a rush to leave when I pick him up. Anytime they are asked to give a hug good-bye they run to each other but then give each other a shoulder bump. It's the funniest thing. She had him in gymnastics with Leo once a week but we decided after the teacher refused to take our check that it's just not Coben's thing. They refused to take the check for this month apparently because he refuses to engage at all. So, Cady will stay in gymnastics and Coben will stick with his music. Cady also started a ballet/tap combo class at the rec center. So far so good. Although she was confronted on her first day by major four year old attitude when the girls at the front door asked why she didn't have a ballet outfit. I guess we'll be going to get one of those after work today. :) Coben still exhibits his metrosexual tendencies. He's obsessed with a tube of pink lipstick that I have and always find a way to get a hold of it and apply it. He cries when I get ready in the morning until I pretend to put mascara on him. He's still very much into wearing my shoes around the house and his OCD around tidiness and order still lingers.

I'm not sure what Rob has filled you in on but the house is broken again so we had to have the structural engineer back out...again. We're looking into epoxy now and then getting the heck OUT. We'll definitely be selling because we are DONE DONE DONE and if we had enough money to get it all done now we'd probably sell NOW. It's probably just as well that we wait so it looks like Spring is the time that we'll put it back up. And hopefully there is someone out there that doesn't mind a broken house (it's still deemed sound but will likely re-open anytime and everytime the ground shifts which is frequent).

That's our news. We are trying to enjoy the last of the summer weather!

The window is shut

2010-07-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Our first realization that the window to eating out has been temporarily shut was on Father's Day. But did we pay any attention? Of course not. I think as parents the need to get out and do "normal" things sometimes outweighs rational decision-making.
Every year we try to make it up to the Baldpate Inn for their fantastic soup, salad and baked goods lunch/dinner that they open up to the public. The scenery is amazing and Cady has been dying to go to the mountains now for some time. So, nearly a month ago I made us a reservation (I made it at the same time as the disastrous Father's Day Brunch). We thought that some fresh air, a walk through Estes Park, hummingbirds, fresh flowers and chipmunks would somehow seduce the kids into a complacency that would get us through lunch. Not so much.
The first mistake I realize is even considering eating at a place with nice tablecloths and five utensils in the place setting. Kids and tablecloths and extra utensils do not mix. Let me do a quick summary. I took Cady up to get food on her plate and she wanted well, pretty much nothing that was on the salad bar. She was unimpressed by it all and spent the better part of dinner drinking her water with her spoon, trying to fit her fork into the milk cup (the milk that was upsold to us by the waitress who after we told we were all having water asked Cady if she'd like a glass of milk), eating crackers like a chipmunk, jumping out of her chair and having a melt-down when realizing that she could not have pie for dessert (thanks again to the waitress) because we had a cookie in town AND she didn't eat dinner. I brought back some finger food for Coben which he greeted by back-arching and screetching which carried VERY well through the intimate dining room. Every food that we would offer was screetched and screamed at and yet offering nothing at all was also fuel for a back-arching and screetching fit. Cady felt like she had to go to the bathroom, oh...FOUR TIMES, during the course of the dinner. Coben upstaged that with a stink poop grand finale that I had to change in the tiny, cute, very nice smelling bathroom. (Sorry Baldpate for my child single-handedly destroying your lovely fragrance). The ride home? I think Rob and I rolled our eyes and wished we were anywhere else the entire hour and a half. Cady was bouncing off the car windows making noises and talking a mile a minute while Coben cried THE ENTIRE HOUR AND A HALF that it took us to get home. Wait, I exaggerate. About five minutes before we pulled in, I put on some very loud rap music which seemed to calm him. Who knew.
One day we will stop romanticizing these things and prepare ourselves for the reality of life with two little ones. Through it all we had a few chuckles and those are the moments that we'll hold onto. Cady and Coben playing I spy on the way to the Inn. Cady pretending to speak for Coben in this funny high squeaky voice, "I spy something white" and Cady always guessing right on the very first try. The conversation on the way home between Cady and Wall-E (For those wondering, Wall-E was NOT with us). But again, the high squeaky Wall-E voice and Cady bantering back and forth was a HOOT. Coben lighting up at all of the flowers in Estes Park and calling "Bood bood" at all of the hummingbirds fluttering around the Inn. Driving by Wild Basin and pointing out to Cady the place that her mom and dad got married. And one of my favorite moments on the way home:
Cady: I have to go to the bathroom
Me: Cady, we'll be home soon, you'll have to hold it (she had just gone before we left)
Cady: But I really really really have to go and I can't hold it. I know. You can stop at a cookie store and we'll use the bathroom there.

So obvious kid.

Things to remember

2010-06-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday was Father's Day. Rob was up early to go to his Boot Camp class that he hadn't yet learned was cancelled. So much for sleeping in on Father's Day. We had a reservation at the Green Briar in Boulder for Father's Day brunch. It's a nice place but we were in and out quickly since Coben didn't want to be seated and it was not the kind of place that he could run around. Cady presented Rob with his gift which was a bird feeder that she had painted. She was absolutely convinced that Rob needed a bird feeder and she only gave the surprise away about 5 or 6 times before he opened it.

After brunch we decided to go for a bike ride around the lake. This was Cady's first "solo" trip (she was accompanied but unassisted. Coben was riding in the back of the bike trailer with is head completely weighted down by the helmet obstructing his view of everything. As we were pedaling around the lake I had a chance to reflect on this particular time in our lives and things that I never want to forget.

For Cady, it's the image of her pedaling confidently behind me on her Princess bike with her handlebar streamers blowing in the wind. The look of confidence and joy on her face as she pedaled her little legs as fast as they could go. Everytime we passed someone she'd squeeze her little horn no less than ten times to signal to every passerby her accomplishment more than her presence. Four is a fun age and it's a challenging age. Cady questions everything and she misses very little. She has such pride at the new things that she learns such as snapping and whistling and she performs for anyone who listens. She wants to do everything herself yet is quick to want to be carried, cuddled, and protected from every spider, monster or scary creature that enters her mind. At this point in her life she wants to spend time with us and is hungry for our approval. She loves to put on dance and fashion shows in the evening. She has a quick temper, a sassy little attitude, and at times the attitude of a fourteen year old. Fortunately this is tempered by a very strong compassion, huge heart and an understanding of right and wrong. She loves her brother and more fights are caused by her over-protectiveness of him and his resistance to being big-sistered all the time. She's afraid of spiders, loud noises, and trying new foods but craves the adrenaline rush of the sky bungee and big roller coasters. She loves date nights with her mom, dressing up and putting on lip gloss and jewelry. She questions when she will be old enough to pierce her ears, stay home alone, and ride the upside-down roller coasters. She wants to grow up so badly and it's happening right in front of our eyes.

Coben on the other hand is still our little squishy. I love his chubby, yummy little knees and the bow-legs that peek out of his knee-length shorts. I love the way he runs with his left arm pumping front to back when he sees somewhere that he has to get to, giggles like a gremlin, and grins from ear-to-ear. I adore the way we have to stop at every flower on a walk through the neighborhood so that he can sniff it. The world is his playground and he lives the saying, "take time to smell the flowers." Coben is generally serious, very studious and a man of few words which makes those smiles and giggles even more endearing. He lights up the most when his dad gets home from work. We watch for him through the window and when he sees the Trooper his arms start flapping and he grins from ear-to-ear. He squeals, "Da-da!" when Rob walks through the door. He is mostly laid-back but has a ferocious screech that he is not afraid to let loose when he must have his way. The things that matter to him are food, Wall-E staying away from his food, being picked up ("up, up, up") and being able to climb whatever he thinks he should climb. If given those simple things in life he is quite content to toddle around all day unloading drawers, climbing tables and playing with his toys though his favorite activity is running around in the backyard. He'd live in the backyward if we'd let him and all day long he brings me his shoes which is his sign that he wants to go out. He loves to play chase with his sister and echoes her screams as they tear through the yard. He loves his bedtime books and can't wait to snuggle into his bed for a story. He's also a sucker for early morning cuddles with his mom and rising at the crack of dawn.

Sometimes I wish I could freeze certain moments such as the bike ride around the lake. Too often it feels like we are running to appointments and activities, trying to stay on top of life, or just plain worn-out by the more challenging side of having a one and four year old. It's hard to stop and take a good look at what is in front of you. One day Cady will be doing her own make-up and going on dates without me and Coben will be sleeping in and no longer up at the crack of dawn for morning snuggles. As much as I love to see them growing up, every obvious moment of growth makes me catch my breath and question whether I am truly savoring each and every moment of their little-ness.

Feeling Better

2010-06-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

I think we just came off of the longest period ever of Coben not feeling well. For a while I was starting to think that the screetching, whining, crying, refusal to eat, and constant need to be held for the past three weeks was his emerging personality. I'm happy to say that the old Coben is back and it seems as though the Hand, Foot and Mouth disease that he has is just really bad and long-living.He has been such a joy to be around the past three days. He is giggly, mischievious, silly and absorbing everything around him. I've missed that Coben.

Coben is talking and signing up a storm. Please, thank you, more, eat, dog, balloon, bird, Cady, mama, dada, kitty, eat, up, and help are just a few that come to mind. He also seems to be a budding Metrosexual as he LOVES to have lotion applied to him...constantly. He brings the bottle and signs more. The lotion is applied and he signs more. Rinse and repeat. He also loves to brush his hair and his teeth. His climbing has been out of control. There is nothing that he won't try to climb and he usually succeeds. It's tough to protect him from himself. But I think his all time favorite activity is to push his sister's buttons. And he is VERY good at it.

Cady still wants to marry Coben. I mentioned the other day that one day Coben will one day grow up and maybe marry someone. Cady huffed at me and said, "Mom, I am going to marry Coben. He will give me a ring and I will give him a spider man key for our house." It sounds like she's got it all planned out.

Mushrooms on your pizza?

2010-06-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

This one will probably get lost in translation but I have to blog it for Cady. I've already found that when I read back on my blogs that there are so many stories and anecdotes that I would have forgotten about had I not written them down. So Cady, one day I would like to remember this conversation because it is just so you!

A couple of days ago all of us were on the porch. I shared with Cady that I thought Wall-E looked like a pepperoni pizza. "Look Cady, he has pepperonis everywhere and an extra big one right there on his back". Cady responded by pulling up his tail and saying, "and here's his mushroom" while pointing at his butt. And then, "Hey dad, do you like Wall-E's mushroom? He has a very hairy mushroom." So, I could leave it at that. But in the interest of preserving the story in all of it's glory I must share the rest. I'm blushing as I type this because I realize I am sharing this with more than a handful of family members and friends but it is pure Cady gold. Out of the blue this morning she walks in the kitchen and says, "Mom, your mushrooms name is Nosy and Dad's is Fluffy!"

Roaster Poster

2010-06-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

I miss the days that Cady called Roller Coasters "Roaster Posters" but at least she still calls American Flags, "Flags of the Guh-nited states of Gamerica" and she thinks that when I sing "London Bridges" that I'm singing Lemon Bridges. She's growing up so quickly. My first sad moment of my girl is growing up is when we went shopping last week for summer clothes. Gone are the days of me putting things in the cart and knowing that she'll wear them. These are the days of Cady choosing her clothes off the rack, pairing things up herself, and having very definitive ideas about what are keepers and what are not. We now have a groovy pair of black and white leopard print 3/4 length shorts to prove it.

Why the talk about Roaster Posters? We went to Lakeside, our neighborhood amusement park on Memorial Day to ride the kiddie rides. I bought a big stack of tickets to last both kids the afternoon and we set out to ride them all. Coben wanted nothing to do with anything and broke into tears anytime we even got close to any of the rides. Cady rode one kiddie ride and was completely unimpressed. We don't even think she cracked a smile as she was bouncing downward on the miniature freefall. So we ventured our way into big person land and Cady's eyes lit up. We started small and put Cady on an adult ride that was a bit rickety but had a speed and whip factor. I don't remember what it was called but I do remember wondering if Cady was up to this big ride. Within moments my question was answered when she and her dad came whizzing around the first corner and I saw Cady's eyes shining brightly and a huge grin plastered across her face. We then walked further into the park and found the carousel so that we could all take a spin. We thought that the carousel would be the grand finale until Cady looked up and saw the Cyclone. I immediately sensed her desire as I watched multiple emotions pass across her face in mere seconds. This is the roller coaster that we pass almost on a daily basis and that Cady has wondered about for years. It represents everything good about the "Ferrist" (the fair). The Cyclone is the BIG roller coaster. It's a large rickety old-style roller-coaster with big drops and fast turns. Those of you that have visited have probably noticed it as we've driven up Sheridan. Immediately Cady started to plead, "Could I go on the big roller coaster?" and there was an urgency and desire in her voice that I only hear when she has absolutely made a decision about something that she MUST do. We walked up to the Cyclone and checked out the stats and confirmed that she was in fact tall enough to ride. I double and triple checked before buying more tickets. "Cady, are you sure you want to go?" She never hesitated. I thought for sure that once she was in line she would change her mind. She did not. She didn't even look nervous. Even I, a seasoned roller coaster rider, might have been a little nervous. Instead, what I saw was a wild-eyed excitement that she was finally going to ride the Cyclone. Coben and I watched as Rob and Cady lined up to get into the cars. We watched them enter the cars. We watched them take off. Then we quickly scurried to a spot where we could see them zooming down the track on the first drop. I worried that she was going to completely freak-out and Rob would have to spend the entire ride consoling her. Instead, what I saw when they came barrelling down the first giant drop was two elated beings having the time of their lives. I met them at the exit and Cady was grinning from ear-to-ear and talking a mile a minute as someone who just got an adrenaline jolt. Rob said that she laughed and screamed (in a good way)coming out of the drops. Cady thought it was hysterical that Rob screamed too. So now, there is even more purpose to every coin that Cady puts into her Disneyland Piggy Bank. She is amused by the story of her mom being scared on the big loop-de-loop roller coaster at California Adventures in Disneyland. And the wonderment of a rollercoaster that actually goes upside down and you don't fall out has her chasing the Disneyland dream all the more! Disneyland is no longer Princesses and Fairy Tales...it is a place with more roller coasters to conquer.

Here is a picture of the roller coaster. They didn't have a good one on their website but you can see it here in the distance: http://www.lakesideamusementpark.com/History.php

Magical Day

2010-05-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Today is a magical day. Things are blooming, the sun is shining, and I think we may have had a Thimbe the Fairy sighting. I was sitting in the living room alone and suddenly the wind kicked up and our street was FILLED with blowing fairy dust(it had to be fairy dust, right?) and I called to Cady, "Come quick!" Cady came running out and we looked out the window. I told her that I saw someone flying by very quickly and sprinkling the fairy dust. With each question that Cady asked she got more and more excited. "Did she have brown hair? Did she have wings? Did she have green things wrapped on her legs? Did she have a crown made of flowers?" Cady realized that it must have been Thimble the Fairy who came by and sent her a special message by sprinking her fairy dust down our street. This inspired Cady to want to draw Thimble a picture and send her her most favorite sparkly rock. Since putting it in the envelope I have heard her say several times in her sad little voice, "I'm really going to miss my rock" I told her that if she isn't ready to give her rock away that it's okay to keep it. Cady said, "It's okay mom, I know that Thimble doesn't have a special rock like this so I want her to have it." Awwww. What a big heart. I'm certain that next year's party is going to be a garden fairy tea party with a guest visitor. Hopefully Thimble will find us again.

And it's a wrap...almost!

2010-05-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

Summer vacation is just around the corner for both Cady and me. YAYAYAY!!! Next week Cady will have her little "graduation" ceremony which means that I will have to leave early on my last day of work. I can think of worse things!

What do I have to look forward to this summer? For starters, I cannot wait to ditch the weird afternoon-school schedule and am hoping that I can get Coben off the morning nap and encourage him to start taking an afternoon nap instead. Right about the time that he'd get tired in the afternoon and I could potentially have gotten him down for a nap, was right about the same time that I'd have to leave to pick Cady up for school. It has made for a lot of long, grouchy afternoons. Because of Maine, we can't schedule too much. I learned that most of the activities run the full course of the summer. It wouldn't be a big deal to just miss the last couple of weeks of any activity but it seems like they all had an end result...a play, a dance recital, an art show. So, I think we'll take advantage of library hours, the community center pool, backyard play, fountains, etc... Whatever we do, I'm just looking forward to having unshared time with the kids.

Last week Cady had Field Day. Field Day is the day when the kids spend the day outdoors doing all kinds of physical activities such as the 3-legged race, potato sack races, relays, etc... I was able to take a couple hours off or work to cheer her on. The highlight of my day was to watch her with the boy that she says she is going to marry, David. This is the same David who loves to plant kisses on Cady when they say goodbye. What a joy to watch their uninhibited affection toward each other and also really neat to see that it wasn't shut down which I'm sure in another year or two will be. While David and Cady waited for their turns they constantly had their arms around each other while sitting together. David would also lay his head in Cady's lap and Cady would stroke his hair. I also observed David standing behind a sitting Cady hugging her from behind with his chin on the top of her head. It was all so sweet because it's probably the only time in her life (for a long time at least) that I'm going to be okay with that level of affection. I think what really impressed me the most is how far this vehement boy-hater has come in the last year and how demonstrative and loving she is with someone that she really likes.

Coben is talking. Talking and signing all at once. And we are learning that he is ALWAYS hungry. I have never seen anything like it. He puts away more food than I do and still doesn't seem to fill up for very long. He toddles around the house constantly signing the sign for eat. And then he eats. A lot. Then he signs non-stop "more". Almost overnight he went from 3 words to about 20! He's on his way! In no time at all he'll be asserting himself with Cady...that will be a fun blog!

Hair products

2010-05-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

One of my most favorite things about Cady is her knack for making up new words. If she doesn't know what something's called she just calls it the word that she thinks it should be called. Her newest one is for curlers. She had a bunch of my old electric curlers outside and when we asked what they were she said they were "hairmines" (Hair-Mine). Yet a few minutes ago when I asked her to pick up the "regular" curlers (non-eletric) that she had been putting on Wall-E's tail she said, "those are curlers!" I told her I thought they were hairmines and she explained the difference to me (very matter of factly of course). Apparently there is a difference and each requires its own name. Who knew?

Clipping along

2010-05-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

Life has finally resumed some normalcy after the renovations, trip to Wisconsin, family visit and a birthday party. Normal still involves a lot of running around and juggling but we have a new perspective on how tame that seems now.

Cady is involved in a little love triangle at school. On one hand there is Javier. Javier is five and was one of her first steady school friends. In January things started to shift a bit and Cady came home talking about David instead of Javi. "Davie likes the Wiggles, David does a Wiggle Dance. David. David. David". David on more than one occassion has planted a big kiss on her at the end of the day. The most recent was when I had to pick her up early for a Dr. appointment. David yelled across the classroom, "Cady, wait! I have to kiss you" and comes running across the room and plants a big one on her. Well, the past two weeks she has started talking about Javi again and Mr. Polo told me that last week there was an actual fight between the two boys and she was smack in the middle of it. Both boys were competing for her attention by drawing her pictures and it got heated when Cady only gave one of the boys a picture in return. Ah, young love.

I'm still loving Cady's classroom. She comes home with so much new information. It's crazy how much she absorbs and it's refreshing to hear her learning about more than reading and writing. When I go into her classroom during the day it's always calm and the kids are always fully engaged. This is not the case in many classrooms that I've been in. Despite my love for the school we've had to make other choices for next year and Cady will go to another ECE program by my work because for now the hours are more acommodating of our schedules. Full-time ECE is going to cost and arm and a leg so we will no longer be able to afford to have Alicja return. I have been searching like crazy for an affordable option (something in the ballpark of 1/2 of what we pay now since 1/2 is going to ECE)and a great option just popped up. An acquaintance of mine who lives in the neighborhood and who has a son Coben's age is not returning to her Kindergarten job next year and is willing to take Coben on for the days that we need at a rate in the ballpark of what we are looking for. Hooray! I was hoping not to have to hand over my entire paycheck! It's a relief to know that he won't be in a childcare center and that he will also have another kiddo to play with.

Coben is growing by leaps and bounds. The kid can eat! Rob took him out to dinner tonight since I had a date with Cady. He ate a 1/4 pound hotdog, french fries and 1/2 a large jar of baby food. That rivals today's lunch of a very large bowl of ghoulash, three servings of beans, a tacquito and banana and yesterdays lunch of four scrambled eggs with spinach plus a healthy sized side of green beans. Growth spurt? He's still not a big talker but his speech is taking off. He's starting to sign more too. We've noticed that his mind operates like Rob's. He's more observant, technical, and hands-on than others of us. He watches and studies everything and then quietly performs. He's learning to climb up and stand on things. I'd like to put a helmet on him for the next couple of years but I don't suppose it's practical. The way that he lights up when he's standing on something that he's climbed onto keeps me in check. He has so much pride in his achievements that I just have to bite my tongue and let him go. He can play outside for hours and he's at his happiest when we let him. He toddles from one activity to the other and keeps himself entertained. Unfortunately as soon as we have a nice day and get a taste of summer we end up with snow or rain the next day. He is not tolerating those days very well.

Tonight Cady and I had a date. I bought tickets to see a neighborhood theater production of Wizard of Oz. I wasn't expecting much considering that last time we went when Grandma was here Cady said that her favorite part of the show was when it was over. We dressed up, put on a little make-up (glitter hair spray for Cady) and I could tell she felt so special. We parked at the show and walked up 32nd Avenue for dinner. Several people passed by and made comments to Cady about how pretty she looked and I could see her walking just a little taller after each compliment. She chose Chinese food so we had a nice dinner together and then walked back to the show. What a hoot! The way the play was set-up was a circular platform in the middle of the room surrounded by just six tables with eight chairs each. Very intimate and extremely close. I was a little worried about just how close because Cady was already having a lot of anxiety about the wicked witch. Well, the show started and the fun began. Because it was so intimate and because Cady made no attempt to use her "library voice" everyone from the actors to the audience got to share in Cady's innermost thoughts. During one scene when the trees were throwing apples at Dorothy and the Scarecrow, the Scarecrow missed the apple and it rolled under our table. I didn't even notice that Cady crawled under the table to get it until well into another scene when the apple goes flying onto the stage. And my all time favorite Cady comment of the evening was this:

Cady: Why is he walking like that? (referring to the tin man who was walking stiffly)
Me: It's because he is made of tin
Cady: (Pause) Am I going to look like that when I'm 10???

It was a great night. Cady laughed harder than I've ever heard her laugh (aside from being tickled) and she had so many comments during the show. The owner of the theater company approached us during intermission and said, "I don't know what's better. The play or the cute comments that your daughter is making" and this woman was seated at the table furthest from ours, yikes! Cady was terrified of the witch and spent all the witch scenes in my lap. She hugged Dorothy after the play. She sulked because she wants the show to be "open" every day and she didn't ever want it to be over. And because the show actually ended almost two hours past her bedtime she had the funniest meltdown during the ride home. It was pure tiredness and she was completely losing it in the back seat over nothing.

So that's about it for us. Naturally I'm still waiting to hear something (anything) about my position for next year. Meanwhile I'm just wrapping up the school year, getting my data reports completed, planning summer activties and enjoying the thought of spending more undivided kid time soon.

Happy Birthday Cady!

2010-04-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

Cady woke up to 25 balloons on her bedroom floor! Today is officially "yes" day. Rob and I are trying to say yes as much as possible on her special day even if we have to tweak things a bit. "Yes, you can have that candy..after lunch." Her excitement today is contagious. She is out of her mind thinking about the cupcakes that we made for her class last night. That her family is flying in this afternoon. That we are going to music class. That we are doing our third annual celebration at Gunther Toody's tonight. That she has a fun birthday party planned for Sunday (it was supposed to be Saturday at the park but a forecast for snow squashed those plans). It's good to have something exciting happening after coming off of the excitement of a trip to Grandpas house. Cady had a lot of fun feeding the horses, rough-housing with Grandpa, playing with her cousins Makenzie and Riley, seeing her mom dressed up like a Princess (bridesmaid gown), running around in the great outdoors and cheese shopping with mom and dad. It was a great visit and we miss Grandpa and Grandma already.
Here is the four year old video interview.

Rapidly approaching 4

2010-04-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

I'll keep this short. It's beautiful outside. The lawn is mowed. The sprinkler is doing it's job both watering the freshly mowed lawn and providing entertainment for the kids. I've come in only to finish some laundry and to blog a thought.

As you all know, Cady's fourth birthday is in less than two weeks. It's time to do her annual birthday interview video. Please add comments if you can think of some fun questions that should go onto this video. I have a couple in mind but could use some help.

Now, the great outdoors are calling!!

What Next?

2010-03-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

There are so many moments as a parent that just catch you completely off-guard. And sometimes they catch your spouse off guard. Rob though, never misses a beat.

Example:

We just moved back into the house. We are all sitting on the floor in the furnitureless living room leaning up against walls with pillows underneath us for cushion. I think American Idol might have been on. Cady is sitting on Rob's lap. Fibi is sitting on Cady's lap.

Cady (to Rob): Daddy, where is Fibi's vagina?

Rob: (grabs fibi, pulls up her tail) It's right there Cady.

Cady: No Dad. That's her butt. I want to know where her vagina is.

Rob: (pulling up Fibi's leg and inspecting closely) It's right here Cady, look.

Fibi: (wearing an expression on her face of WTF?)

Paula: (laughing so hard inside)

Home projects, A Play, and Sleep!

2010-03-21T18:20:00.000-07:00

It's been action-packed around here. So much so that it's still hard to catch my breath and yet we are preparing for round 2. Round 2 of construction starts the last week in March. And hopefully that will be the end of it. And then in April we fly to Wisconsin for my sister Jenny's wedding (I'm IN the wedding) and then Penny comes to visit when we return and we'll celebrate Cady's birthday. And THEN it will finally slow down around here (knocking the hugest piece of wood that I can find!)

Some happy developments though. Coben is fully weaned. The little bugger didn't even protest tonight when I took away his final feeding (the coveted before bed feeding) and he passed out almost immediately when I laid him in his crib. It helps that he has been walking non-stop and is physically tired. But he's done. Knowing that I will not ever nurse a little one again makes it a little bittersweet. Mostly sweet though because one thing that I was extremely hopeful about was that once I started weaning that he would start sleeping through the night....AND HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Happy Days!! Rob and I have had about 4 full nights of sleep (okay, so we won't count Cady's wakings) in the past couple of weeks. And let me tell you, it is nice. I nearly forgot what it feels like to have energy. And everyone just seems happier around our house!

Other kids news. Cady has bangs again. It was an impulsive decision after a year of growing out those bangs. But she looks cute and I don't have to put it up anymore. And she wanted them. It's all good. She participated in the Finding Nemo play that she practiced for 8 weeks. When her moment came she clammed up on her lines but she seemed to enjoy the spotlight as her teacher had to carry her off of stage at one point when she missed her cue for all fish to exit the stage. She still vacilates between liking school and resisting it. I think she really likes school but hates missing out on what happens when she is not at home. I tell her that I spend the time doing laundry and running errands but I think she is convinced that we are eating candy and playing games while she off at school learning.

Coben is physically all over the place. He is walking confidently and trying to climb anything that he can. He follows Cady around the house and is constantly in trouble with her for getting into her stuff. His new trick is flushing the toilet and that just flat out annoys Cady who doesn't like him wasting water. Other kids his age are doing laps around him when it comes to talking but he's more of a "less talk and more action" kind of guy.

Wall-E. Great dog overall. Annoying habit of making us chase him at the least opportune moments. It makes us crazy (and sweaty) but it's ONE bad habit out of a sea of habits that he COULD have.

The cats. Jenny still throws up after most meals. Fibi is in love with Cady and sleeps in her bed all of the time now.

And one more. My girl Cady misses nothing. My favorite and totally overused swear word is "Shit!" I use it mostly when I do something clutzy (which is quite often). Yesterday as we were walking up to Emma's house for her 4th Birthday Party I dropped my purse in a puddle of dirty melty snow. "Shit" was in my head and ready to come out of my mouth but it never made its way out because Cady said it for me. That's my girl!

One year ago...

2010-02-27T09:48:00.001-08:00

One year ago I was lying in a hospital bed. I had worked all day the day before, had been up all night (minus the hour that I slept before my water broke), and hadn't had anything to eat since 6 the previous night. I remember lying there with all the machines hooked up to me and watching the seconds tick away on the clock in front of me. I had been lying there since midnight (or was it 1 a.m.) willing Coben to hurry up and come out so I could eat. There is NOTHING like birthing hunger. I remember thinking, "there is no way I am going to be able to push this baby out if I don't get some sleep or get something to eat." I remember initially thinking that I could have him by breakfast time and be able to order some of the pancakes that I had after giving birth to Cady. After having labored for 21 hours with Cady and having eaten very little I remember thinking that the hospital pancakes were by far the BEST pancakes ever made and now getting to order those pancakes was becoming a full-blown obsession. But then it was going on 11 and my hope shifted to having Coben by lunch time. It's not as though I couldn't eat at all. I did have some Tums and some ice chips. I'm not sure why that didn't hold me over or give me the strength that I felt like I needed but the intensity of my hunger outweighed everything else that was going on. And then around lunch time I heard the most beautiful words I've ever heard. "It's time to push." This time Rob was awake and ready to assist as he'd been sending play-by-play updates on Facebook. (note to anyone who is planning to have a baby. Make sure you husband knows ahead of time that he must get permission first before putting FB photos of you up after you'd been awake all night, have been pumped full of fluids and have just pushed a baby out). So one year ago minus two hours I pushed a beautiful little 9 pound baby out. I remember Rob holding him up in front of me and my first words were, "He is so beautiful" because he was even more beautiful than I imagined. One year ago I learned that giving birth for the second time is just as intense, beautiful and amazing as the first time. I also learned that your heart is big enough to love another child as intensely as you love your first. Happy Birthday Coben!

Working moms and productivity

2010-02-21T10:05:00.001-08:00

A friend sent me a two minute news blurb the other day on how women in the work force who have children are not promoted to the same extent as those without children. Initially upon watching the segment I felt like I was *supposed* to be outraged but instead I felt somewhat responsible. I automatically felt conspicuous as a cause. There are women like me that contribute to the preconception that being a mommy in the work force may lead to less productivity. Don't get me wrong. When I'm at work. I work hard. I'm passionate about what I do and often times that carries over to doing work at home or being on committees or other little extras. But when it comes to attending meetings outside of my work day I can't just stay on a whim. I have kids to pick up at 3:30 so I have pretty strict boundaries. And boundaries in the American work force are not a very welcome thing. I'm reluctant to give up the precious time that I've been given to be a mom to two litle ones. Anything "extra" that I might have dedicated to giving to work in the past I am now dedicated to giving the kids instead. But on the other hand, there are women who are absolutely dedicated to their jobs and will do anything to get ahead. They seemingly are able to do this while balancing their roles as a mom. Maybe their husbands stay home with the children so that they are able to dedicate 120%. Or maybe they have family in town that offer additional support and therefore they have less guilt at being away more. The women who are able to give 100% to their work deserve to be promoted for their extra efforts and not held back just because of their parenting status.

The article said that in order to get ahead you need to have solid and reliable child care for when your child gets sick. Is my childcare solid and reliable? Absolutely! But if I have to choose between work and mommying a sick child, I'm quick to put on my mommy hat. This happened recently with Coben and his myriad of illnesses. My kid was sick and it made for a distracted mom. Unfortunately the worst of it was on one of my short weeks where I only work two days. One day was so bad that I chose to stay home. Coben had diarrhea, vomiting, a fever, coughing, etc... Not only did I not feel it was fair to subject Alicja to Coben's virus but really, when it comes down to feeling like crap, I feel like a kid needs his mom. The next day I pushed myself to go back to work but only lasted a half a day since Coben's fever was not breaking, he was sleeping around the clock and his eyes were now glued shut most of the day. The following day I took him to the Doctor and was told that he had a double ear infection and pink eye on top of a cold virus. We started antibiotics which caused severe diarrhea. Coben already hadn't eaten for a week and now everything he was eating was exiting his body was quickly as it entered. And just when I thought he was on the upswing I woke up at 6 on the day I was to return to work to find a child who had a bone dry diaper after 8 hours. Dehydration can be a pretty serious thing for a little one. Since the Dr. wasn't open yet I went to work and found myself absolutely distracted by Coben's health the first two hours of my day until I could make a phone call to bring him in and was then told to bring him right in. What would a mother who is able to dedicate 100% to her job do? I honestly don't know how a working mom is "supposed" to juggle these things. Because the structure of our employment system (with the exception of some really progressive companies) requires me to make a choice. And I will always choose my family. But the truth is that while I was unable to be at work, I spent hours at home taking care of the work that needed to be done. This was not noticed. What is noticed is that I was not at work therefore I was not working. Nobody called me out on this and my dedication is not in question but I imagine if I actually worked in a traditional system that promoted a person that my sick days would not go unnoticed.

So I am not surprised that working mom's don't get promoted as often. And it's because I understand our jacked-up American work system that won't even take a chance by hiring a newly married woman who they perceive might, God forbid, get pregnant. And forget hiring someone who (no matter how well qualified) may already be pregnant. And if you happen to be employed through your pregnancy it astounds me how many women don't get paid time off for any amount of maternity leave. I appreciate the great strides that have been made that allow me to be a working mom and I understand that it is my choice to put my children over my work. But I'm not a single mom who doesn't have the luxury of that choice. Or a mom who is financially responsible for the family because her husband has been laid-off or has a disability preventing him from working. This is where my outrage comes in. We have more choice than ever but we are still dealing with antiquated companies that fail to recognize that they actually may have the ability to retain some pretty fantastic working moms. Mom's aren't quitting the workforce because they are flaky since having children. Many of them are being driven out. Is is possible that working-moms can be just as productive as their childless counterparts if given flexibility, the potential to job share, opportunities to telecommute, and/or on site childcare? And I'm not just talking about moms here. Rob has the opportunity to be a fully-invested dad because he is fortunate to be in a position that offers family-friendly policy. I know it sounds a lot idealistic and extremely kumbaya-ish but it's being done. Look at McGraw-Hill http://www.businessweek.com/careers/workingparents/blog/archives/2006/02/the_family-frie.html and Johnson & Johnson who is at the top of the Working Mother's Magazine top 100 Family Friendly Companies and has been for the past twenty years!

I know that some of my more conservative readers are going to insist that a woman must make a choice or that she belongs at home for those first few years. I don't disagree that within our current contstraints that a woman must make a choice. But maybe where the choice needs to lie is not with working versus caring for your kids but instead with where you choose to work so that we can strive for systemic change.

Ummm. That 2 minute news blurb really kicked off some emotion. I went into this blog thinking I would sound off with a couple of SENTENCES. Thanks for staying with me. :)

First Steps

2010-02-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying that today was a fantastic day. Nobody is sick. Cady didn't have school. And so we had the entire day ahead of us and had a really great time. We visited the Buttefly Pavillion which both kids loved. We had lunch at "MsDonalds" and spent time at the Playplace. We stopped by Emmas and they ran wild for a while. We haven't had an opportunity in quite some time to just have FUN and I think it was great for all of us.

Last night we celebrated Coben's first birthday two weeks early. Most of you know that two very good friends of mine had their babies right after Coben. Three babies, three days in a row. The funny thing is that all of us were due in March and we all delivered early. One of the good friends is moving out of town next week so we decided to bump up the celebration and have it on Valentine's Day. I'll try to post some pictures soon but the boys did great. They properly smooshed their Cars cake and wore the red icing like a badge of honor. So maybe because Coben thinks he is one he decided to start walking.

Tonight Coben took his first steps. He's been standing on his own for a while but has been very meek about even trying to take steps. Tonight he picked up a foot, realized he could do it and by the end of the night was taking multiple steps down the hallyway. The kids ended up taking turns putting on their shows. Coben would take a few steps and get lots of applause (he's not too modest to applaud himself) and then Cady would take a turn doing flips and spins. We even had Wall-E and Jenny crowded into the hallway to take in the show.

What's a blog without a chuckle? Even if it's at my expense I'll share. Cady today says to me, "I want a big butt likes yours so mine can dance in the shower too". Ha ha haaaaaa.

Mommy Brain

2010-02-12T12:20:00.000-08:00

I used to have the memory of an elephant. I could pretty much function without a calendar and recall people, conversations and events without even straining. Now I have three calendars (four if you count the one on my phone), I've had more than one embarassing situation where I find myself chatting with someone at the grocery store and have NO clue who they are, and can't remember where I'm supposed to be at any given time even WITH the use of four calendars. Call it what you will -- baby brain drain, maternal absentmindedness, or Mommy Brain. It's all the same. I can't remember shit!

Here are some recent examples:

Freezing cold snowy day. I have both kids with me that I'm taking to Children's Hospital for Coben's appointment. I roll down the window to take a ticket for the parking garage. Two and a half hours later I return to the garage (upper-level unsheltered area of course) thinking someone might have broken into my car because my driver's side window is missing and there is snow in my front seat. I just forgot to roll it back up after taking the ticket.

I have to pump breast milk when I'm at work. Usually there isn't a good opportunity to do this so I end up multi-tasking. Pumping and responding to emails or voice mail messages. So, the other day I'm pumping and I notice that my leg feels warm. I don't stop to look it was more of a "huh, that's weird my leg feels warm, back to work" moment. Well, when my leg really started to get warm I looked down and noticed that I forgot to put the bottle onto the pump. And then I look at the other side and notice that I didn't attach either bottle. So, off to a meeting with wet pants from hip to knee.

Most of my readers here are already familiar with the 7 people and a dog walking Cady to school on a non-school day so we probably don't need to revisit that one.

Rob always says, "You should use your planner!" I do! How about the countless times I've checked my calendar at say 2:00 and notice that I have a 3:00 appointment and then somehow manage to tune-out and not tune back in again until like 4:00...one hour after I've missed my appointment.

And it is becoming more and more common to run into people in the neighborhood who know my name and stop to stay hi and I have no clue (their face doesn't even look familiar) who they are. And it's not like I remember ten minutes after walking way. I just never remember.

Last weekend Gretchen emailed me to make sure that it was still okay for them to come to dinner Sunday night at 5. I'm not even home at 5 because of my Soul Fire class. What?? Really? I invited someone over for dinner and can't even remember that? Nice!

And fleeting thoughts are a dime a dozen. Thank you notes. I still haven't written thank you notes for Christmas. I really need to email Tammy and make plans before she leaves town. Hey, I left our green mixing bowl at Alex's house three months ago. I'd better call her. None of it gets done. They are just fleeting thoughts that occur when I'm driving which is when I have time to think (and no time to actually put those thoughts into action).

I stopped to analyze this the other day and it makes sense. I'm now the social planner for four people. I moderate Rob's Dad's group and plan their dates. I moderate a dinner group and the Sloan's Lake neighborhood mom's group. I schedule all of the kids activities and appointments. I research school and child care options. I'm on Cady's school leadership team and a committee to set up a health agenda for Denver Public Schools. I plan the grocery shopping and dinners. I have 42 students that I have to remember details about not to mention keep track of the myriad of meetings, maternity leaves, and community networks. I have the added responsibility of compiling data for all of the teen parent programs in the district. And part-time work is just a figure of speech. I wonder if anyone who works part-time really works part-time since the rest of the world is still functioning full-time and doesn't wait for a part-timer to come back to work to have their needs met. And there is just very little down-time. Having two kids is like running a marathon (not that I would really know). Just about the time that exhaustion takes over you look ahead and realize that you aren't even close to being able to stop.

And the real problem. I'm doing all of this on less than six (not continuous) hours a night. They say the first year is hardest and I don't disagree with that.

More Tidtbits

2010-01-29T22:23:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to update..but when? At this very moment I have a sleeping baby in my lap who wakes and cries the second I lay him down. I'm trapped! This seems like a great time to update.

Bobo is standing on his own. He's not walking yet. But soon. Watch. He isn't saying too much yet. He's still limited to "mama" and he said "dada" the other day. He tries to say Dog. He LOVES Wall-E. Those two have a great relationship. Wall-E lets him do anything to him. And that's because Coben his food dealer. Always be nice to your food dealer.

Wall-E. Oh man. We love him. He's our family. But there are days... He's smart. He has a mind of his own. And he usually asserts his intelligence at the worst possible times. I could write a book about is shenanigans...but I won't. Hopefully time will help us out.

Cady-isms. Today, for the umpteenth time I tried to put Coben in Cady's car seat. We've had a week of bad nights and no sleep. So Cady says, "Mom, you're putting Coben in my seat. Why are you doing that?" and I respond, "Cady, my brain is very tired." and she says, "You need to play my Memory game mom and I think you should start tonight." I think she is right.

Baths are a luxury. I can't and shouldn't complain because I haven't set the best limits with the kids. Most of the time I end up with either one or both in the bath with me as soon as they hear the water running. There was one night a couple of months ago when I was just done. I was exhausted and tense and I announced to Rob, "I am going to sneak into the bath and read a book." Within minutes Cady is in the bathroom with her clothes off and climbing in the tub and seconds later my book was drenched, I had a dinosaur wedged under my butt, and I was being informed by a three year old that I was taking up too much room. I hadn't really tried again since then until last night. I actually got into the bath, ran the water and got into a nice reclining position before Cady barged in. She looked at me wide-eyed and actually gasped, "Mom! What are you doing in that bathtub all by yourself?" I love it that she actually thought that I was lonely in there without company. I assured her that it was completely unneccessary for her to get in and that I would be bathing solo by choice. Score one for mom, kind of. Unfortunately a certain husband of mine had taken an evening shower and used up all the hot water so it was only a small victory as my tepid water was cold before I could turn the first page of my book. Next time.

Cady is enrolled at another school for next year. No worm school for her. We had to go with the cheaper option that fit best with our schedules. She's been on the waiting list for two years and I think it will be another great fit. The hours are extended so that the days that we work she can stay as long as we need her to, and the days that I don't work I can just take her for the preschool portion of the day rather than leave her all day. Coben? Who knows. I'm in the same predicament that I'm in every year about this time. I have to set up child care options when I'm in the dark about my own position. When the economy takes a dive like it has and when education is faced with huge cuts there are two places that you do not want to be 1) school support 2) discretionary position. I'm both so we'll see. I don't *think* that cuts will eliminate my position as a social worker in the district, it would just alter where I end up.

I appreciate the comments that you all leave. I just published two of them that had been sitting in my SPAM folder. Starin informed me of this at Boot Camp. I only see Starin at Boot Camp once a week so it's turned into our catching up time. It's when she informs me of things like having unpublished comments and I fill her in on what the damn dog has been doing. We have both had "conferences" with our boot camp trainer telling us that we are not very good together. I believe that she told Starin that I'm a "chatterbox" and she told me that I work out twice as hard when I'm alone. We've pleaded our case (mine being that it's my ONLY social activity)and I think that we're improving our ability to multi-task and do both well.

And because it's after midnight, that's all she wrote.

Weeeeee! Here we go!!!!!

2010-01-18T11:28:00.001-08:00

Cady was doing something not so nice to Coben and I asked her to be nice. She yells, "I don't even like him! I wanted you to have a girl!" Oh boy.

Two more

2009-12-27T09:47:00.000-08:00

Cadyism

Snipper- n long vertical velcro closure

Raper Papper- n the paper that holds a cupcake AKA cupcake wrapper

Christmas and more

2009-12-24T07:58:00.000-08:00

Oh the joys of Christmas. Last year was fun but it's nothing compared to this year. As I type this (in between making two cheeseballs, deviled eggs and a pineapple upside down cake) Cady is about ready to burst from the excitement that 1) Santa is coming tonight 2) She gets to go to Emmas later for a visit 3) She gets to open a persent tonight 4) She gets to open lots of presents tomorrow. Right now, she is "orzan-gizing" the gifts under the tree for the umpteenth time. Much like her father she can spend mass amounts of time doing this. The gifts need to be in the right place and all of the little tears in the paper need taping. She announced to me about an hour ago, "I have a lot of work to do today mom" and she has been at it ever since.
Speaking of "Orzan-gizing" I have missed way too many opportunities to write down the cute expressions and word substitutions that come out of Cady's mouth. Considering I remember mostly NOTHING these days I'm not sure what made me think I'd be able to recall them at a later date. One night Cady was putting together a puzzle all by herself. The puzzle was of a little girl. Once Cady got the girl's hair together she yelled, "Look mom! I did a hair pile!" Now, anytime she says something cute, Rob and I have the code word "hair pile". This morning she told Rob she knows how to crack an egg. Rob asked her how and she responded, "Well first you get the egg and you go head-to-head..." The dot dot dot is because I have no idea what she said after that as I got stuck on the head-to-head part.
Meeting Santa was a joy this year. Santa is a very soft-spoken man and this was great for Cady who was a little reluctant to visit. Within minutes she was eating out of his hands. I say minutes because he spent a lot of time with her. He showed her his giant golden key that unlocks all of the doors of kids who do not have chimneys. He pulled out a small velvet bag that had a bell inside. Cady was able to ring the bell. He was absolutely magical. Coben, on the other hand, was not a fan. He was fine sitting on Santa's knee. And then there was a long moment of both Santa and Coben getting a good look at each other. The next thing that happened was Coben's little bottom lip came out, his eyebrows scrunched and then the tears came. He's had a little stranger anxiety lately as it is, but I'm sure it was compounded by the large white beard and hat.
So, we try not to use the empty threat of "Santa is watching and if you are naughty..." because 1)it's not a threat we are willing to follow through with 2)I can't tell you how bored of hearing it I was growing up 3) Santa is unconditional love. BUT I found that in desparate times it packs quite a punch. We had a little resistant hair-washing this morning and a big attitude to go along with it. All I had to say was, "Huh, if Santa sees everything then he can see this. I wonder what he would think" and the fight was over. hehe. I think used sparingly it's quite nice. :)
Christmas Miracle Alert! The tree survived with both a baby and a puppy!! In fact, neither one of them seem overly-impressed by the tree or the gifts under it. Wall-E had one brief moment where he lost his mind and ate two ornaments and unwrapped two gifts. I think that had more to do with mom having a really bad day and he just wanted to add to the mix. Other than having a brief puppy moment it's been great especially considering what a mover Coben has become. That kid can travel. Cady was a pretty stationary baby so it's strange to have one that rolls, sits, pulls-up, cruises, crawls and scoots. And exhausting. Cady was exhausting too but in a different way. I have a feeling that Coben will be climing baby gates before long.
Cady and Coben continue to get along great. We probably have Wall-E to thank for this as he has assumed the role of "pesty little brother". He and Cady fight ALL...THE....TIME! Cady atagonizes, Wall-E gets wound up and nips, Cady yells at Wall-E (or cries to us, both equally frustrating). And I think that makes Coben the lesser of all evils. I LOVE watching Coben and Cady play together now. They sit on the floor together and play with toys. The love between them is beautiful. And Cady is our hypervigilant third set of eyes. She is so watchful of everything Coben is doing. She protects him and makes sure he isn't getting into anything that he shouldn't be. And there seems to be a lot of that lately as Cady's favorite toys seem to be non-toys. Little trinkets in boxes. Rocks and buttons and any small thing she can get her hands on. Moving infant and small trinket phase...fun combo let me tell you.
That's about it on the home front. I have Christmas goodies to make and I have a student's mom running some tamales by in a bit (lucky me!) so I should get dressed. Merry Christmas everyone.

Another one for the archives

2009-12-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

I should know better than to use certain words. But I spent 18 years growing up in a dog grooming shop and around breeders and dog show people. And then the following ten were spent working in veterinary hospitals. The word "hump" was part of my everyday life so I didn't think twice before using it around Cady. Wall-E loves to hump Cady. It's part of his large personality and there is a constant battle for dominance between him and Cady. So anytime Cady is on the ground, Wall-E runs over and tries to hump her back. We tell Cady constantly, "Do NOT let Wall-E hump you! Get up off of the ground and be bigger than him!" It's getting better but can still be a problem.
One morning a couple of weeks ago, Rob walks up behind Cady and puts his arms around her and gives her a giant bear-hug from behind. What does Cady say?

"Daddy, stop humping me!"

Ay-yi-yi

The last month...

2009-11-17T11:43:00.000-08:00

I know, it's been a long time. I can't believe how exhausted I've been. My normal bedtime of 11:00 has been altered. Lately, well, almost every night, I fall asleep around 8:00 on the couch watching tv. I usually get about three, "P, should we turn off the show and watch it laters" from Rob to which I always respond, "No, I want to watch it." After the third time Rob turns off the tv and lets me sleep. He wakes me up to go to bed after a couple of hours. I think this is my body trying to front-load two consecutive hours in order to make it through the night. Coben still wakes up a lot. Having him share a room with Cady is hard because we can't just let him cry for a bit to see if he can turn the corner on his own. Nope. We have to get up and do what we can to keep him quiet. We've learned the hard way. Once Cady has been awoken, the kids just take turns keeping each other (and us) up the rest of the night. So, Coben sleeps until about 2 or 3 and then he's up every hour after that and sometimes he's just up for the day at 4:30. It's so funny to think of the days when Rob and I would sleep in until 9 on the weekends. It makes me wonder if our bodies would even know how to do that anymore given the chance. I'd have to say the worst affect of sleep deprivation is doing dumb stuff. I've already been known to be a tad bit on the spacy side. Add in lack of sleep and I'm a flaming mess!
Rob: "Why did you put a bowl of pomegranate seeds in the cupboard last night?"
Rob: "Seriously? You are staring at the tv screen this whole time but want me to recap everything that happened on Survivor the last five minutes?"
My intern (quite often): "I'm not sure what you were thinking when you did that."
Cady: (several times now): "Mom, why are you putting Coben in MY car seat?"

Anyhow, what's going on in the Keenan house bedsides lack of sleep?

We have a fence! This is one of the big highlights! The yard is excellent and looks much bigger and is certainly more functional.I'm starting to like Wall-E more now that we have a fence. He hasn't had any accidents, he hasn't destroyed the house while I've been distracted by doing something with or for the kids and I don't have to get everyone dressed in order to take him outside to use the bathroom, yay! And we have a yard for the kids to play in. Cady can go outside when she needs to and play without waiting for someone to watch her. She may be getting some walkie-talkies for Christmas..

Another development is that we decided that we are going to stay in the house for at least one more year before making any decisions to pop the top or move. The bottom line is that we can't afford to do all of the repairs all at once and we don't have to move. We are going to continue dumping money into the house by doing the improvements that we want it to essentially make it into the home we want it to be and then we'll decide. So, projects on the horizon are: New bathroom, new furnace, Central A/C, indoor wall repair, brick repair, interior and exterior paint. We may possibly look into what it will take to set the bar back a little more so that we can fit a real dining room table into the kitchen. It sounds like a lot of work and it sounds expensive but overall it should be less work and less expensive than moving. And it will give us the opportunity to see what the neighborhood has in store. There are indicators that our house may only continue to appreciate...which it has been doing quite a bit already the last few months.

So, it's not a real blog without including Cady-isms. These are recycled from Facebook but my hope one day is to print this off for the kids so all Cady-isms need to make the blog.
The other night I was cooking ravioli. I called Rob earlier in the day to see if we had nutmeg. So as I'm cooking, I open the spice drawer to find nutmeg and I don't see it. I start talking outloud, Where's the nutmeg? I know we have nutmeg because daddy said we have nutmeg." Rob enters the room at which time my assistant chef Cady says, "Daddy, you are a nutbag!"
Every day Cady comes home from school talking about letters that she has learned. She usually gets the order backwards but the letter right. "Mom, C starts with Cookie! I know what Z starts with...Zip!" So she was playing by herself the other morning and brings me a box of peanuts and says, "here's some peanuts for you mom!" Then she stops in her tracks and lights up. "Hey mom, I know what starts with peanuts! Penis! Penis starts with peanuts!!"
Cady is super-excited about Christmas. She circles and cuts out pictures of things that she wants in the catalogues. She is very adamant though about not wanting boy toys. The problem is that there are very few girl toys that she doesn't want! We're going simple this Christmas with the gifts and hope to spend more time making lots of fun memories. I can't wait to make Christmas cookies, sprinkle glitter on the lawn for Santa's reindeer and spend xmas eve Santa-watching. Three is such a magical age and I know that this Holiday season will be a good one.

Coben. He's doing great. He's still not crawling but he can do a mean scoot backwards. He's constantly stuck in corners and trapped underneath furniture. What he really loves to do is stand. He's just recently started creeping along furniture. He's all boy! Cady was so stationary at this age. We could put her somewhere and she'd just stay. If she saw gates she'd realize that it was an off-limits area. I have a strong suspicion that Coben will see gates as something to conquer. He's saying "mama", waving, and clapping. My most favorite thing is the car. Cady ALWAYS holds his hand in the car. And recently, as soon as he gets situated in his car seat next to his big sister (OMG I'm tearing up as I type this), he reaches out his arm for his sister to hold his hand. And no matter how far our destination, they hold hands until we get there.

Wall-E. I suppose the little guy needs his own blog space now. He's doing good. He definitely has a very stong little personality. He sit on Coben ALL THE TIME. He loves that kid and seems to see him as a pack member that needs protection. He'd like to put Cady in her place as well but the two of them have a love-hate relationship. Cady is constantly atagonizing Wall-E and Wall-E gets excited and nips. Cady yells and runs which excites Wall-E even more. Rob and I are constantly yelling, "Cady, just tell him 'no biting' and slowly walk-away!" What a waste of breath. As I mentioned, he's doing great with potty training and he rarely nips..the rest of us at least. He can sit, stay, "leave it", shake, lay down and sometimes roll on command. He's bossy and opinionated but seemingly very loyal and devoted. The terrier in him is very apparent with his big personality and his love of digging, nipping and chasing cats. Something is happening to him though. The older her gets the spottier he gets...like...dare I say it...Dalmatian spots!!! Noooooooo!

Okay, you can all probably tell that I must be at work today or there is no way I'd have written a fraction of what I wrote. My lunch break is now over and I think everyone is pretty well caught up! I really hope that things slow down a bit so you all can get back to reading snippets instead of looooooong blogs.

First Parent Teacher Conference

2009-10-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

It went well!
Some of the highlights:
*Cady is one of the most empathetic kids the teacher has ever had in her class. She said she cares about her classmates and is the first to help when they need help with anything.
*Her social skills are spot-on. She hasn't had any problems with any of the kids and plays well with everyone. She has one good friend who wants to play with Cady all the time but isn't always very nice to her. The teacher says that Cady handles it very appropriately by playing with other kids when that friend is acting aggressive. The teachers said that Cady plays with all kids regardless of their race which is not always the case with three year olds when they encounter kids who are different.
*The teacher said she is very smart and would like to start pulling her into the four year old group because she has mastered the three year old curriculum and is not very challenged by it.

I was the happiest to hear about her being so empathetic to her peers. Smart is great and will help her in life but what good is being smart if you don't care for those around you?

Things

2009-10-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

I made a promise to write a blog when I got eight hours of sleep. I didn't say consecutive hours. If I had then our audience might be waiting years possibly for the next blog. And in the eight hours that I got last night I am in fact counting the second hour of Ratatouille that I checked out on while watching which was around 7:45. I am also counting the hour that I got while sleeping in Cady's bed when she woke up around 3ish proclaiming to be afraid of the dark which occurred right before I was putting Coben, who was up for his 3 a.m. social call, back to bed. AND I'm counting the hour that my family let me have this morning when Rob got up at the crack of dawn with Coben, who without even the benefit of coffee, was chirping, growling and giggling his way into the morning. But eight hours is eight hours, right?

So. Yeah. It's been rough.

Coben has been cutting more teeth. Coben also has a cold. And he seems to be hitting a growth spurt. All of this all at once.

Cady. She had the flu. Her flu was followed by a nasty cough. The nasty cough turned into pneumonia.

Rob. Working his tail off. Goes in late on the days I work and gets home in time for dinner and for me to run off to work-out. And he's working-out on Sundays. And when it's not my day to work he comes home just in time for the 5:00 pandemonium. This is when all at once the dog needs to go out. Coben needs to be fed. Cady is getting whiny and hungry. Dinner is being made. Yes, all at once.

And the puppy. Yeah. No need to tell ask us what were we thinking. He's great. But he's like another baby. And I'm still wrapping my mind around having two kids. He's picking up on our expectations pretty quickly. He's learning how to sit, stay, and go to the bathroom outside...most of the time. But it's tough.

Example. On Fridays I take Cady to school at 12:20. I have EXACTLY two hours to get to the grocery store, shop for the week, get everything home, unload, take the dog out, feed Coben and pick Cady up from school. Simple things like the checker running out of tape when it's our turn can throw us off. Yes, we cut it THAT close sometimes. So back to the puppy. As I'm racing home I have a hungry Coben in the back seat and popsicles. Other frozen food too but the popsicles for some reason are the one thing that is freaking me out if it should heat up (yeah, I know all about warm meat and baceteria but sometimes we fixate on the funny things). So anyhow, as I'm getting close to the house I'm thinking, "Oh man, the puppy has been alone and is going to start howling as soon as I walk in and I'm already stressed without a puppy howling" so I start to think about how to prioritize things. Coben needs to eat, puppy needs to poop, popsicles need to freeze. So as we are getting closer Coben falls asleep and I think, "whew, one down, two to go." I decide that I am going to leave Coben in the car with the groceries and risk meltage while I take the puppy out. So I take puppy out. And for ten minutes. I am not exaggerating. TEN MINUTES I watch this puppies little butt quiver. Sorry to be graphic but when you are thinking about melting food you watch for every sign of a possible mission accomplished. So after ten minutes I have to call it. I put him back in his pen and I unload the groceries and Coben. I feed Coben. Then I take the dog back out. And yes, it happens again. Grrrrr. Mistakenly I think that maybe he doesn't have to go so I bring him inside because we are out of time and I have to go pick up Cady. Except as I'm changing Coben I smell something that is NOT Coben. YES!!! That 20 minutes of quivering has finally resulted in something....all over the rug!! Now the question is do I leave it or pick up Cady on time? (The answer is that I picked it up AND picked Cady up on time by RUNNING with the stoller. Just ask Coben about his whiplash).

Anyhow, that is an example of how a puppy adds a little stress to the life. I do give him credit though because he is the only one sleeping at night. Cady has had growing pains which keeps her up all night. Coben is going through all of the above that I talked about before so there have been several nights when he is literally up every hour. And one kid wakes up the other so there have literally been nights that they have taken turns being awake...all...night...long. Whew!

Now the updates:

Cady. Doing great. Loves school. We just got back from the second birthday party that we've been invited to. Both times she was the only classmate invited so I'm happy that she is making friends. She's growing like crazy (physically, mentally, emotionally) and as funny as ever. Ask Rob who never gets embarrassed how he looked somewhat embarrassed today at the store. Cady was sitting on his shoulders in the spaghetti sauce aisle. The woman in front of us was looking at the same sauce as we were so we were that close. Cady yells, "HAHAHA, I just farted daddy!!" Niiiice. The lady was kind enough not to look around.

Coben. Polar opposite of his sister. Cady never moved. She didn't roll, crawl, try to get into sitting positions on her own. She was always perfectly still. We theorized that to practice her physical movement would have hindered her verbal skills. She was so content to just lay in one position and make a ton of noise.
Coben on the other hand is full of movement. He cannot be still. He writhes and kicks and pulls and grabs. He rolls and twists and pulls himself up. But the extent of his verbal ability are some nice grunts and growls with the occassional raspberry and giggle. He's a ton of fun though and still ridiculously laid back about most things. He still holds a very strong opionion about bottles and isn't having anything to do with them but doesn't put up a fuss the days that I work if all he gets all day is solids.

So that, family and friends is our update. It's long but it's been a while.

The Attitude

2009-09-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Wow are we in for it. The sassiness has gotten really bad around the Keenan house. Cady has learned all kinds of new ways to express herself lately and her attitude is growing by the day. Most of the time we can nip it by giving her a warning, sometimes time-outs are warranted, and other times we are dumbfounded and wonder if anything is going to work. A recent example that it blog-worthy.

This happened yesterday while I was cooking dinner. Cady was in the living room and I was in the kitchen.
I asked Cady to pick up the marbles off the floor and she ignored me. So I peek my head into the living room and ask her again to please pick up her marbles. She says, "Hold on, I'm doing something" which is a new one and one that she tries using ALL the time to avoid doing what she needs to do. There is always "something" to do that doesn't involve cleaning up, brushing her teeth, getting ready for bed, you name it.
Then I say, "Cady" in that "I'm warning you mom voice" and she says, "Paula" in the same voice. Gah!! So I walk into the living room and I say, "Excuse me Cady, what did you just say?" in that "you are past your warning mom voice". And she says... "Sweetie, you need to calm down and wait". Yeah, she really went there.

At this point I head back to the kitchen because I was at a complete loss for words and wanted a half a moment to think the situation through. But wait, Cady then follows me into the kitchen and says, "Sweetie, are you calm yet?"

Unflippingbelievable.

Rob and I are trying to stay one step ahead of Cady but we are afraid that our reality is more like being 1/2 step behind. Just when we think we have something figured out, she switches things up, our jaws drop and we have to get back in the huddle.

Overjoyed

2009-09-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

Many of you don't know that I had some intitial bumps in the road with the school that Cady is currently attending. I wasn't sure about the choice. It's a low performing school but it is in the neighborhood so I was willing to check it out. I wasn't impressed by the way the initial communication went and decided that I wouldn't be sending Cady to the school after all. I decided to write the Principal a pretty long email about how I believe in neigborhood schools and was thrilled that Cady was accepted into the program and then outlined the reasons that I wouldn't be sending her. I wasn't hoping for or expecting a response but felt a responsiblity to let her know. The Principal responded immediately (she even had to go a step further and do some research to find my phone number). She gave me her personal cell number and asked me to call her anytime to discuss. I called her and we had a great conversation. I was impressed with her response and agreed to at least go check the program out. I have to admit that at this point I visited the program with a pretty closed mind which lasted all of about the first 30 seconds. I really liked what I saw when we visited from the academics to the play to the social interactions. And for this reason I decided to send Cady to Colfax Elementary.
It's been a unique experience having her attend her home school. For starters, the school is comprised almost primarily of Hispanic students and many of them are monolingual Spanish speaking. There are a few African-American students and maybe a couple of Caucasian students in the whole school. I love this because it reminds me of home. I grew up in a ethnically and racially diverse neighborhood and I want Cady to have the same exposure and Rob feels the same way. It's interesting to see how well Cady has adapted to being with other children that do not necessarily look like her. She doesn't even question it. The other day I asked her, "which kid is Ivy? What color is her hair?" and I swear that she just about did a little eye roll when she responded, "Mom, everyone has black hair." And when describing to me who her new friend was a couple of weeks back she said, "She has black hair, black all over her skin and marbles in her hair." Color is just another way of describing someone the same as if she were to describe someone as having a big nose or small feet. The school is also comprised of families in the lower-income bracket and it's highly transient. But if you look past the low test scores and understand the reason behind them, there are some good things going on behind the doors of Colfax Elementary.

Cady is thriving in her new school. It's a mixed room 3 and 4 year old class. The other day there was a parent meeting before school. The teacher went over what she would like us to be working on with them at home. Three year olds were to practice holding a pencil and cutting with scissors and four years olds were to practice writing their names on the dotted line stencils. The teacher asked me to stay after the other parents left and she told me, "I know that Cady is only three but would you like to do the four year old assignment with her? She is smart and I think she is ready." Go Cady!
Today I walked her to school as usual on my day off. I am OVERJOYED to be able to walk her to and from school. It's a time to talk and connect without distractions. We arrived at school about 10 minutes early today and it was beautiful outside so there were many of her classmates playing on the playground before class. I loved that when Cady walked up the kids started saying, "Hi Cady! Cady, come play with me! Cady, chase me!" She seems to have made friends with everyone in her class! YAY!! I had a blast watching her play with all of her little friends. She plays in a very Cady way and her classmates seem to go right along with it. Picture Cady at the top of the stairs to the slide standing in front of it and telling each kid, "You have to give me a ticket. Where's your ticket?" And the kids good-naturedly hand Cady a pretend ticket as their admission (or is it PERmission, lol) to slide.
Maybe the next time you visit you will have a chance to go for the walk to Cady's school and see what I am talking about.

Fashionista

2009-09-14T12:31:00.000-07:00

Darn. The second picture didn't come out. It a pic of Cady naked tromping down the hall in my black pumps.

Fat girls and yet more wrinkles

2009-09-03T16:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a while so I'll just throw in some tidbits.

Overheard Saturday night during dinner time when Emma was staying over.

Cady to Emma: Us girls are going to eat all of our food and we are going to get fat. We're going to be fat girls just like mommy!!

After defending me, Rob used that moment to divulge to me Cady expressed concern on the way to gymnastics that morning, "Mom sure is getting old, isn't she daddy? She has a big wrinkle on her eye" (Yes, you dodged another one Mimi).

Brotherly love. The older Coben gets the more enchanted he becomes. If Cady enters the room and he hears her voice he stops whatever he is doing and looks for her. Even if he's in an ultra-serious mood she can make him laugh like we never could. He laughs with us but Cady can get a full-on belly laugh with minimal effort. She talks to him and reassures him. She continues to hold his hand. She LOVES when I give them alone time (or what she thinks is alone time, my mama ears are turned on full-blast and I'm usually lurking). I lay him on the floor and she sits next to him and they have a great time together. It's a beautiful thing and makes me contemplate the absurdity of almost stopping at one.

School continues to go well for Cady. It's unfortunate that I don't have more gang colors in my wardrobe because I sure would it in better with the parents when we are waiting for school to get out. She really loves her teachers (even the teacher she said she wasn't going to like because he is 'brown and bald').

Coben. Coben Coben Coben. What can I say about him. He's mellow but particular? He doesn't make waves about the small stuff but digs in his heels when it matters. I'm referring to his refusal to take a bottle. It still ain't happenin' and I'm in week three of work. The first couple of weeks I was running home which was fine then but totally unrealistic long-term. I was hoping for some words of wisdom at last weeks' pediatric appointment but was told by Dr. Bacon, "Yeah, you'd think they would eat eventually when they get hungry but some babies just won't do it." So, the solution is to feed him solids when I'm at work but she said breastmilk should still be his primary source of nutrition and that he needs to have between 24-37 oz a day. So that means when I get home she wants me to make up for it by nursing him frequently in the evening. Hopefully in the next few months we can get him on a sippy cup or something or I won't be able to venture off very far. (I have a really important conference in Steamboat in October and a promise to visit a very close friend whose wedding I missed in June, neither of which looks likely unless something changes).

First day of worm school

2009-08-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

I wonder if it will always be referred to as worm school. When Cady and I spent an afternoon together at her new school a few months ago they were doing projects with worms. She has called it "Worm School" ever since. This has been the longest wait ever. We visited the classroom the beginning of May and she has had to wait until now to start attending. I do believe it was well worth the wait for her as she is acclimating very well to her new surroundings.
Her first day we walked up there with Alicja. I walked her into the classroom and all was well until it was time for me and Alicja to leave. Then the tears. As she was crying a little girl named Dalia walked into the room and her face lit up when she saw Cady and she said, "Casy!!!!" (they had met the day before at orientation)and I could tell that they were going to get along well. I scooted out and went back to work.
The next day of school when I walked Cady to her classroom the teacher stopped me with her thick Spanish accent and said, "There is something important I have to tell you. This daughter of yours, she is veddy nice. She helped her little friend Dalia all day long. Dalia was veddy sad and Cady, she try to make her feel better. She hold her hand, she put her arm around her, she take care of her all day long. I have never met a child so caring as Cady. She's a good girl." SUPER proud mom moment. There are a lot of qualities that we would like Cady to have but very few of them rank as high as caring. We know she is caring but to see her get past her shyness and apply it to others...that is REALLY cool!

This is what 6 a.m. looks like on Cady's first day of school

And she's off!!

TMI Alert, TMI alert!

2009-08-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

But too cute not to post.

The TMI part is that I wear thong underwear. Somehow Cady has never really taken notice until yesterday when I was getting dressed. She walks into the room, looks at me as I'm bent over putting on my pants and chuckles. She then says in her very Cady way, "It's okay mommy, sometimes my panties get stuck in my butt too!"

Back to work and more wrinkle material

2009-08-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

I go back to work in two days. I am going to miss being with the kids like crazy but seeing as how it is only part-time there is part of me that is looking forward to it. It helps a lot that I like what I do. But I'm also looking forward to hearing myself think once again. I now understand the term, "I can't hear myself think". Sometimes I will have a moment where something pops into my brain that I need to stop and think about and Cady starts hammering away at me, "Mom! Mom! Mooooooom! Why aren't you listening to me!" and the thought is gone. This is a huge reason that I forget many many things these days. Facebook readers will probably see that Coben is still refusing a bottle. Man, it's hard enough to leave a baby but doubly hard when you have to worry about them while you are gone. Thank goodness it's only 8 hours. I don't know that I have more than that in me.
Anyhow, on to the fun stuff. Sometimes I make these mini videos where I just ask random questions so that one day Cady can watch them later and see where she was at in her development. Watch this short video. The last question is a hoot. And yes, I do realize that I probably caused anxiety by asking, "What happens when you sleep?" lol.

Higher level of thinking

2009-08-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

She's a bright one.
We went to the Wiggles Concert last week. Jeff, one of Cady's favorites, is approaching sixty. In the car, she was studying his picture and declared, "Jeff has wrinkles!" I confirmed that yes, Jeff has wrinkles. Cady then asked, "is it because he is getting older?" And I told her that it was in fact because Jeff is getting older. A few minutes passed and she then said, "Mom, Santa Claus is really really old and he does not have wrinkles." Good point.

Do you think it would really mess her up if I talked to her about Botax?

Out of the mouth of our babe!

2009-07-24T22:42:00.001-07:00

Today we were loading up in the car for preschool and Cady stops and looks around the backyard. I thought she was checking out our tomato plants but instead she says:

Cady: Mom, where is the cherry tree?

Me: What cherry tree?

Cady: Daddy's cherry tree.

Me: Daddy's doesn't have a cherry tree

Cady: (impatiently) No mom, the cherry tree that daddy used to have

Me: Cady, I'm not sure what you are talking about, there is no cherry tree and we've never had a cherry tree

Cady: (even more impatient) Moooooom, you told me that George Washing-machine cut down daddy's cherry tree.

New Do

2009-07-21T17:52:00.000-07:00

Cady requested short hair. I was 100% down with it because I'm tired of the length difference between her bangs and the rest of her hair. At least now we can grow it back out and it'll be one length. It was scary there for a moment. Initially I thought we'd go just a few inches shorter and then the hair lady said she could go even shorter than what I suggested. I said to go for it but Rob was an odd shade of white. She DID want a pixie cut so I think this was a good compromise. We were both scared to death though of her reaction and pictured a scenario of her wanting her hair back....and we all know how persistent she can be. Instead, she was very matter of fact about it when it was done. Anyhow, the end result (keep in mind that the bangs are STILL growing out).

Taps

2009-07-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm sad to report that both Kermice and Silly passed away within a couple of days of each other. We lost Kermice a couple of days ago and tonight Rob found Silly lifeless. Bummer.

July 4th

2009-07-05T12:24:00.001-07:00

During the week Cady and I went to buy decorations for her wagon for the Fourth of July Parade. We tried to decorate the wagon on Thursday but clouds moved in and it looked like it was going to rain so we decided to wait until Friday.
On Friday Cady was super-excited to decorate her wagon. "In the afternoon when it cools down" we kept telling her. That morning she and I went to Supper Solutions together and assembled 250.00 worth of frozen meals for the month. We got home, put them in the freezer and then ran to Wal-mart for some staple food items. Anyone that knows me knows that I cannot stand Wal-mart. I rarely go. But some of the items that I needed I knew for a fact were 1/2 the price of the regular grocery store so we braved it.
An hour later as we are getting ready to check-out we can hear thunder. Hearing thunder inside of a busy Wal-mart is pretty impressive. Then the electricity went out. We managed to check-out only to find ourselves in a mass of people standing at the door waiting to leave. It was one serious storm outside and we were now trapped inside, of all places, Wal-mart! =( Lightning was everywhere and the rain was coming down in buckets. We waited with everyone else while I prayed that our popsicles did not turn into a puddle of goo before we got out of there. If not for the heavy lightning and not knowing where I parked we *might* have made a dash for it just to save the popsicles.
After a 20 minute wait the rain slowed down to the point where we could at least see in front of us and we made a dash for the car. Naturally (b/c things were going to smoothly at this point)we were diverted by the police because the road home was flooded. We finally made it home only to find that our electricity was out as well. I squeezed the popsicles into the freezer between the $250.00 worth of "frozen" food and we went out and watched the storm.
Unfortunately the garage door does not open without electricity so we were not able to decorate the wagon. We spent the better part of the evening wedging ice in the freezer trying to keep everything cold. Cady ended up having to go to bed without decorating the wagon because three hours later the electricity was still not on. She was a little freaked out about the dark house and that was only exacerbated by fireworks going off EVERYWHERE around us.
Rob and I sat in the dark playing the, "Huh, what should we do now" game until 11:30 when the power finally came back on...6 1/2 hours after it went out.
The morning of July 4th we hustled to the parade site with our naked wagon and a bag of decorations. We were able to get it together in time for the parade and it looked like this:

Cady and Dad entered the Balloon Toss contest

And she misses. Maybe the bangs were in the way!

Even Butters got into the Red, White and Blue spirit!

And then a bath for Butters to get all spiffied up before the BBQ

Sloan's Lake waiting for the "Big" fireworks that turned out to be a major let-down.

But at least Cady, Emma and Lily got some running in

And with the exception of one time in Maine when she was sick, this is the ONLY time this has ever happened. Proof of all of the fun that was had.

Preschool, day 1

2009-06-16T20:05:00.001-07:00

Today was Cady's first day at Summer Preschool. She is going two days a week for three hours each day. I wasn't sure how her first day would go since transitions tend to be hard for her, but I'm happy to report that she handled it really well. We stopped off for some lunch before I dropped her off. We arrived a few minutes early and mingled with some of the other parents and their kids. Then the doors opened. Cady walked in and went right to the playdough table. She sat down with a group of kids and got busy. She hardly noticed when I said good-bye. When I came to pick her up three hours later she seemed content to stay and play for a few more hours. The other kids, were doing the "mommy!!" squeals and running towards their moms. Cady? She just kept playing. As we were getting ready to leave the lead teacher came up to me and said, "You are Cady's mom? We wish all of the kids could be like her. She is a really sweet girl." What a great compliment. On my way out the door the assistant teacher said, "Cady did a really great job today. She is one sweet girl!" I'm so proud of Cady!

There's not much to this video except to show you how big Coben is getting and how squeezably, mooshy cute he is!

Word!

2009-06-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

I think there are some words that I just won't ever be able to correct. They are just too cute and I hate to mess things up by telling Cady how the word is REALLY pronounced.

An example:
While dad is out larming Cady is outside drinking who-leg while mom is inside cutting up Cue-mummers.

And speaking of words. Here's a video demonstration of making up words when you don't know the right words to use.

Coben has the belly laugh figured out now. I'd post a video if not for the babbling fool in the background (myself). I swear, when I watch back I realize that I'll do anything (and do) to get those first laughs. You'll have to come get some in person!

For those that didn't catch it on FB

2009-06-01T18:04:00.000-07:00

One hour later....

2009-06-01T11:52:00.001-07:00

What kind of day are YOU having??

Oh Crap!!!

2009-06-01T09:15:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Cady for taking the pictures!!
So I went to the rec center this morning to register Cady for summer preschool. While I was sitting in the lobby filling out paperwork I first smelt it then I felt it. Coben was sitting on my lap and I looked down and saw a great big puddle in my lap (of poop). Then I see that it is also on my arms and my shirt. There were others sitting there in the lobby so all I could do was jump up and bolt out of there. I'm completely embarrassed as I'm running through the parking lot. This is a big center and I parked far away of course. I'm holding Coben who is still leaking, his carrier, all the paperwork and trying to grab Cady so she doesn't get hit. I get to the car. Oh yeah. I lost my keys!! I had to trek back through the parking lot looking like I pooped myself and go back into the rec center and try to find my keys. I was mortified. Really mortified. I find my keys and we are leaving and Cady decides to play in the rocks outside. People are openly staring at me. I snap at Cady, "Cady, c'mon!" and she says, "Mommy, you need to relax and take a deep breath." hehe. She totally put it into perspective. The pics don't do it justice b/c this is 1/2 hour later after my drive home and it had time to absorb and lighten.

Daddy's Girl

2009-05-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

My little girl is so in love with her dad it's not even funny. I mentioned in a previous blog that she would like to marry her dad. That is just the tip of the iceberg. Most nights she still slips into bed with us in the predawn hours. There used to be a time that she would practically sleep on top of me and would get frantic if she wasn't touching me the whole time. Now? She sleeps pressed up against her dad. The other morning while Rob was getting ready for work I tried to cuddle with her. She woke up and demanded, "where's my dad?" and our first one-on-one date since Coben was born was this weekend. We went to "our place" which is Souper Salad. As we were eating I said, "Cady, I sure do love you" and her response was, "I love my dad". And I just don't do things as well as I used to. As I'm brushing my teeth the other day I'm informed by Cady, "Daddy taps his toothbrush when he's done to get the water out." and while getting slurpee the other day she says, "Daddy puts the top on first" and can you believe it? I even wrapped her up in her bath towel all wrong the other day. "Daddy tucks it in right here." It brings back so many memories of my own daddy worshipping days. The beautiful thing is that Rob doesn't even know the extent of it. He has a fan for life because even if we don't show it the same way as we get older, I think most of us girls will always worship our dad.

Budding Photographer...for Playgirl

2009-05-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

So, i'm sitting in the office here and I see a flash coming from the hallway. We just had a thundershower so I thought maybe it was lightning flashing through the bathroom window. Oh no. It was Cady. Cady taking a picture from the hallway INTO the bathroom where Rob is, shall we say, indisposed. She is quite skilled with the camera these days. GREAT picture, wish I could share. :D

Keeping up the Gosslins

2009-05-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

Cady: Mom, I wanted two babies. A boy AND a girl.
Me: Cady, can you imagine two babies crying all the time?
Cady: Well, John and Kate have eight!

Body parts

Cady is running around naked
Me: Woo-woo, look at that cute little butt.
Cady: No mom, my butt is big like yours.

Follow-up from this morning as I'm getting out of the shower:
Cady: HEHE. Mom, your butt is really squishy.

On Calling 9-1-1
Me: Now let's go over it again. Show me on the phone how you call 9-1-1-
Cady: (dials 9-1-1 and says to me)-Now this is what I have to call if a witch flies in my window and I need a fire man.

Coben

Laughing, cooing, playing with his feet. Very sweet and getting more fun every day.
We attended CPR. We had the upper GI's and today was the "last" appointment with neurology. Nope, not really. Another $40 co-pay "I don't know" with a referral to a gastric specialist thrown in. Really small stuff in the big picture after spending time at Children's and seeing all the families that practically live there. I'll take the "inconvenience" of a lot of medical appointments any day over anything those parents are having to endure. :(

And finally---
Cady wants to go to the "Hair Porch" to catch a "Hairplane" to visit Sophie, Chris, Gigi and "Penny" (She actually said Penny instead of Mimi the other night while Starin was over). And Chris, Cady has been obsessed with your pony tail since you left. She wants to know why Uncle Chris has a pony tail. :)

LMAO

2009-05-15T21:32:00.001-07:00

Dinner conversation:

Cady: I'm going to have a baby

Me: Cady, you can't have a baby until you are all grown up and have a husband

Cady: Daddy is going to be my husband

Rob: Cady, I can't be your husband because I'm your daddy

Cady: No no no Daddy. I mean when I'm all grown up you'll be my husband and mom will be old.

Dang.

You're rubbing elbows with Royalty!!

2009-05-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

Cady and I were in the car together yesterday when "Crash" came on. I explained to Cady that Daddy and I danced together to "Crash" at our wedding when we were married. I told her that is when Daddy became my husband.
She thought for a moment and asked, "Mommy, is that when you were a princess and daddy was a King?" Awwwwwww. What could I answer except, "But of course."

One more

2009-05-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

Add a late afternoon phone call from Dr. Bacon letting me know that they are also ordering an upper GI to the list of fun things that have happened today. :(

The appointment that was not...

2009-05-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

Coben's neurology appointment was for today but we didn't go. I tried. All of Coben's appointments have been in the medical complex at Lutheran Hospital because the Children's Hospital specialists are there once a week. So when I made the appointment I thought I was making it for Lutheran again. The scheduler told me it was in the outpatient pavillion. Having been there I know that there are several buildings and asked her specifically, "Could you tell me the building number". She said, "no building number, it's in the main entrance. It's the building next to where you had the cariology appointment(which was at Lutheran). So I get to Lutheran and NOBODY knows what I'm talking about. Turns out I'm at the wrong hospital and the other one is 45 minutes away so I've missed my appointment. At least the second scheduler gave me an address (aha! so there IS one!) but the next appt is not until the 20th. Okay. Whatever. But I found myself in tears. Not sure why, but I think I just wanted today to be the end of it all.

So I just got home and the triage nurse from Coben's pediatrician's office is on the phone and says, "I'm calling because Dr. Bacon and I have talked about this and we feel like it might be a good idea for you and your husband to attend a CPR class so I'm calling to help you schedule it." Now, I totally understand why they would say that but to hear those words spoken outloud when Rob and I are doing our best to believe that nothing is wrong, well, it just doesn't feel too good.

This blog is just to keep everyone in the loop. I promise, they'll get lighter again. I much prefer blogging about Cady giving child birth. Which, by the way, she did have twins yesterday. I know because she assigned me as her Doctor.

I just realized I do have a small Cady story. We were at Sunflower Market yesterday an there was a man in front of us who was in the process of balding. He had some hair left on the sides but was butt-naked up top. Cady said, "mom, that guy has no hair! He has no hair at all!" I reply, "Yes Cady." and in typical Cady fashion she repeats. "Yeah, but he has NO hair." I'm thinking, maybe this guy can't hear us. But he turns around and playfully bonks Cady on the head with a package of crumpets, hehe.

Knock on giant logs...

2009-05-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

Redwood.

It's Coben. He is a GREAT kid! He can have the worst day possible (such as today) where nothing makes him happy for long and he cries from sun-up to sun-down. But do you know what he does without fail? He sleeps! I don't even have to nurse him to sleep. I lay him in his bassinet sometime around 7 or 8 and he falls asleep. Just like that! And he might wake up a couple of times a night but do you know what time he sleeps until?? 8:30!! Yes, you heard me right. 8:30!!! He still wakes up around 4 and goofs around..waving his hands and practicing his voice. But when he's finished he drifts back off to sleep. I know it won't last. Even if I find something bigger than redwood to knock on it won't last. But let me tell you I AM LOVING IT!!

So, here's what happened on Sunday. Coben was sitting in his chair in the kitchen with Rob and he just started throwing up again. Large quantities. And then he fell asleep. Hard. Rob and I had trouble waking him up. We were swinging him, bouncing him, blowing on him. The most that would happen is his eyelids would flutter open and immediately snap shut. It wasn't really scary this time because he still had tension in his body and he wasn't ghostly white. The scariest part was the flash-backs of it happening before and the helplessness of feeling isolated. But somehow this incident just didn't seem like that big of a deal.

Of course it was Sunday so who were we going to call? I looked at our Dr.s website that has a "when to call" grid and it didn't seem like it fit into the emergency category. So I called the following day. I described what happened and was told that if that ever happens again to call an ambulance of get him to a hospital ASAP. REALLY?? We figured that maybe he fell asleep and was difficult to arouse because the vomiting took it out of him. And that's really what I was expecting them to say when I called. Don't they know they were just supposed to make a note in his chart? They weren't supposed to tell me that it IS a big deal. So, many of you have already seen it on Facebook but we are now back to not being finished. A month to the day we are back where we were and Coben and I will be soon visiting the Neurologist.

Cady is great. She protests going to school and then protests going home when I pick her up after school. She told me sadly (and quite dramatically) the other day that she doesn't have any friends at ALL! I'll be looking for summer activities so that she has lots of interaction with other kiddos. I bet she'll still tell me she doesn't have ANY friends though, lol. It's been two months now and she still will not let the kids at school (her FRIENDS) anywhere near her brother. They aren't even allowed to sneak a peak without suffering the wrath of Cadence. What else. Hmmmm. Quite often these days (Starin can attest to this) she lays down, grabs her ankles, grunts and says she's having a baby. Maybe I did let her watch a little too much Baby Story. My bad. I suppose it's okay as long as she doesn't do it at school, hehe.

Thanks for tuning in.

Hi Ho, it's back to work I went

2009-04-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Day 1.
Before leaving for work I cuddled with my boy. I then fed him, watched him drift back to sleep and then I headed out for the day. Yeah, it was hard. It would have been harder if I didn't have a crazy complex situation walk in my door at around 7:30that morning. Nothing like that to take your mind off of things. Mid-way through the day as I was getting back into the swing of things I thought, "I really should not have taken some additional sick days. I can do this" (I got cold feet a couple of nights ago and asked to use some of my sick time to change my work week to 1-2 days a week rather than 2-3). That thought dissipated when I pulled up in the driveway and could already hear Coben crying before I even opened the door. I walked in and Alicja was doing all that she could to console him but he wasn't having it. I scooped him into my arms and he grabbed onto my neck and stopped crying. He still had those pathetic little whimpery, sobby sounds which is totally heart-breaking but my presence calmed him down. (now, why this doesn't work when i'm with him all day long i don't know!)Alicja said that she thought he might be colicky which made me laugh on the inside. Nobody knows colicky until they've met Cady at that age. Alicja started caring for Cady around the 4 month mark when colic usually starts to recede. At any rate, Alicja said that he cried most of the day. So now I don't regret reducing my time. It's one month, he's still little, and it's mostly transition work right now anyhow. I love my job. I really really love it. But I love my kids more.

Drum Roll Please

2009-04-29T20:57:00.001-07:00

We had Coben's two month check-up yesterday. All the tests are in:

Spinal Tap-Negative

Cat Scan-Negative

Blood Work and UA-Inconclusive

Ultrasound of the Heart-Negative

Chest Xrays-Negative

EEG-Negative

EKG-Negative.

So, the diagnosis is: "I don't know".

Nothing really fits and everything has been ruled out. I'm hoping that we can now just end this chapter and move onto the next one...please.

We are growing another big one though. He's 90th percentile for weight and 75th for height. Cady is still in the 75th percentile for both (she was always in 75th height and 90th weight just like Coben for her first year).

Cady refused to talk to Dr. Bacon. Dr. Bacon asked plenty of questions to assess verbal ability, processing, development, etc...and Cady wasn't budging on her refusal to speak. It's always funny to see her shut-down when 99.9% of the time she never stops talking! The pains that wake her up crying many nights? Growing pains. The knock-knees not expected to cause any problems.

Coben on the other hand was prescribed antacid. Dr. Bacon asked about his crying patterns. Does he cry at times even when he doesn't need anything? I was embarrassed to admit that "no, he is often inconsolable" because we've already been down this path once. I told her that he cries a lot (when he's not sleeping) but that it's nothing compared to Cady and we can handle it. Having 2 sisters and 2 brothers that I was old enough to remember through infancy I know it's not just the "normal" crying that babies do but I also did not want to go through what we did with Cady and try this and that and everything under the sun just to find out that there is no answer and it's something we'd have to ride through. We decided to just bypass looking for answers and let the fussiness pass in its own time. Besides, he sleeps a lot which makes it really not that bad because we get LONG breaks in between. BUT, after further assessment Dr. Bacon thinks he has a silent reflux. He has been congested nearly every day since birth and he eats every two hours day and night (which is a lot for his age)and he wants to be held constantly. All signs of silent reflux. The constant eating is him trying to get relief. We can't ever lay him down because it hurts. He also wakes up gasping sometimes. I didn't even share that part but now it makes sense. The other part that didn't make sense about his crying is that he is so laid-back. Cady was an intense baby, she never slept and the crying seemed to go hand-in-hand with her temperament but it just seems like a disconnect with Coben. Anyhow, if the antacid works then Rob and I might be able to have dinner at the same time and THAT is something to look forward to.
So, that's that.
I go back to work tomorrow and am hating it!

Last thought. I overheard this in the bathroom tonight while Cady was brushing her teeth:

Cady: Hey, that's Piglet.
Rob: Yup, that is Piglet. What does Piglet start with?
Cady: P. Piglet starts with P, just like mommy's name.

Man is she smart.

Updated Update

2009-04-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

Coincidentally, after blogging last night about all the new priveledges that Cady thinks she is getting when she turns three, she inititated a conversation about it this morning.

Cady asked me to make her some noodles for breakfast. Then she said, "I can't do it by myself because I don't have a baby yet. But I can do it when I'm five because that is when I'll have my baby."

Huh.

Catching up...

2009-04-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

Whew! It's a little harder to blog now with two kids. Especially since my normal blogging time (after bedtime for the kids) is now spent doing Wii fit until about 11 at night since there really isn't any other time to do it. Speaking of bedtime, we are so lucky that we have a good sleeper. Coben is usually in bed by the same time as Cady which is around 8:00. He wakes up at 11 to eat when Rob and I go to bed and then goes right back to sleep. He runs like clock-work...for now. Clock-work includes his 4 a.m. "Let's Partay!" times when he is more vocal than we ever hear him during the day. He amuses himself by flapping around and cooing. I spend about 5 minutes thinking he is the absolute cutest thing in the world and just recently I've trained myself to roll over after those five minutes and sleep right through the rest of it.

So as I'm rambling on about sleep, many of you are probably wishing I would cut to the chase regarding Coben's incident and the follow-up to the incident. We do not have the EEG results back yet. Let me tell you what kind of fun that was! The EEG instructions are to put the child to bed after midnight and wake them up at 4 a.m. and KEEP them up. Do not let them sleep in the car and don't feed them close to the appointment time and then they want him to sleep during the appointment. Yeah, seriously! We did what we could to make sure he went in tired and that's all I'm going to say about that.

The Cardiology appointment was on Friday. They did an EKG and a really extensive ultrasound. The only finding was completely insignificant. He has a small opening which is typical for newborns and it is expected to close up. The cardiologist was unable to find anything that should have caused his oxygen saturation levels to dip down to 74. Her best guess is that he may have aspirated when he vomited. Having vomit in his lungs may have caused all of the things that I witnessed (not being able to wake him up, losing all muscle control, pale, etc...) and it would have compromised his lungs beyond just that moment causing him to still have low oxygen saturation levels after five hours of oxygen. But she said it is purely a guess. I was holding Coben upright when it happened and he immediately went limp. It would have been more likely she said if he was laying down and had cried afterward thereby inhaling vomit into his lungs. So, who knows. She said in the future we can experiment with taking him up into altitude and doing an overnight trip at an elevation level between Denver and Dillon. An airplane ride should probably not be our first experiment (although they do have oxygen I suppose).

Cady. She continues to do well. Last night in the car she said, "Mom, I think you are going to have another baby!" Very funny. She reminds me daily about how disappointed that she is that she did not get to see Coben come out of my belly. I'm sure I'll be hearing about that for years to come. She is absolutely excited about her upcoming birthday. Anytime something comes up that she is not allowed to do because she is too little, she interprets to mean that once she is three she can do it all. So she informs me on an almost daily basis that once she is three she can use the stove, light a candle and use sharp knives. Boy, won't she be surprised when she finds out that being three isn't all that it's cracked up to be. If anyone is at a loss for a good birthday present for a three year old, I was informed by her this morning that she would like a bottle of Saline Drops and a Booger sucker for her birthday. I guess Coben has it all and she'd like a slice of that action!

Ummm..that's about it over here. Spring is here and I'm elated to be outside again with Cady (plus one) and even more excited to be outside again and NOT PREGNANT!

Coben Update

2009-04-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

Today we had our follow-up appointment with Coben's regular pediatrician. My friend Deb emailed me last night and said that she would watch Cady while I took Coben to his apopintment. I never would have asked nor realized it was something that would be so helpful, she just told that she would be by to help. It was a really nice thing to do and it gave me a chance to listen to Dr. Bacon with both ears.

Dr. Bacon checked Coben out from head to foot. She asked a lot of questions and she talked about different possibilities. Once I provided answers to her questions though, none of those possibilities panned out and she admitted that she also had no clue. She decided to submit a referral for an EEG to at least rule out the possibility that Coben had some kind of seizure although she said that she expects that nothing will turn up in that direction either. Once everything has been ruled out it sounds like it's just going to be a case of nobody knows and let's hope it was just a one time deal.

Rob and I already talked last night about giving up the sleeping in shifts. It's not something that we can maintain until he is grown and at some point we are going to have to have faith that he is going to be okay. It doesn't mean that we slept soundly, but we slept. I also realize at some point I am going to have to stop obsessively asking, "does his color look okay?" and poking him everytime he is asleep. He looks great and acts great. I wish that was a relief to me but it's not. He looked and acted great just moments before it all happened too.

I REALLY believe in the power of positive thoughts so please keep Coben in your thoughts so that one day we can look back at this and say, "Remember that ONE time that thing happened with Coben? Boy was that scary."

The REALLY bad day

2009-04-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

Snowboarding season is almost gone and Rob hasn't been once. I've really wanted to make it possible for him to hit the slopes at least once before it all melts and then an email came over last week. One of the mom's in my mom's group has a mountain condo that she was renting out for less than 1/2 of what it normally rents for...A practical give-away. I talked to Rob and we decided to go for it. Rob could spend one day boarding and Cady could go sledding....something she has been dying to do. For me, just being away, even if stuck in the condos with the kids is still a vacation.
We almost didn't head up as all the roads from Denver to Dillon were closed because of winter weather. But by Friday afternoon, they were opened back up and we figured we'd attempt it and just turn back around if it was messy. Not the case. One could hadly tell that there was a storm, the roads were clear and dry.
That evening we hung out at the condo. Cady and I played "fancy ladies" and did some pedicures and a peeling face mask. Cady slept in her own bed all night long which is always a bonus. That night, Coben woke up only a couple of times but really didn't seem that interested in nursing. He did the same thing the previous night back at home. I figured that maybe he was just finally starting to slow down and that it was just something to watch. The only other significant thing that happened through the night was me having to take Coben into a steamed up bathroom because he was stuffy...AGAIN. I didn't think much of that either since Cady and I both have colds...YET AGAIN.
The next morning Rob got up early to go boarding. There was a huge winter storm in effect and the roads were pretty messy. He made it there safely and gave me a report of the roads because Stacy was thinking of coming up to keep me company. Coben woke up in a great mood. He still didn't seem interested in eating which was starting to cause me some concern but he was in a great mood. Very interactive and sweet. No more than 1/2 hour after Rob's phone call, I was carrying Coben into the living room and he vomited all over me, twice. Lots of vomit. Then his body went totally limp and he turned white. I called Rob who was up at the slopes and let him know that I was calling our Dr. I called our Dr's office, explained what had happened and was told to get him in immediately. I told her that I could call Rob now and probably make it down to Denver before their walk-in clinic closed for the day. She told me that she didn't want me to wait to get to Denver but to take him in NOW. The problem is that Rob had the car and I had no idea where to take him since it was our first night in town. I couldn't put Coben down to make phone calls or look things up on the internet so I called 911 and explained what was going on and asked for an ambulance. For a moment I thought it might have been an overreaction. Coben was starting to come to and was tracking me with his eyes (yet he was still limp and not moving). The operator called for an ambulance and kept me on the phone. Before I got off the phone with the 911 operator the medics arrived (which scared the bejesus out of Cady who unbenownst to me was putting on make-up at the time). They could not have come soon enough because Coben was getting worse now instead of better. His body was still limp, I couldn't inspire him to move at ALL and now he was a ghostly shade of white. His eyes were unfocused and just kept rolling around in his head. He was starting to close his eyes in this state and I was just plain scared out of my mind. The medics took him from me, asked a couple of questions, tried to wake him up but couldn't, and said "we need to get him out of here, NOW!" and started running with him toward their truck. I grabbed Cady's coat and we ran out after them.
They wanted Cady to ride in the jump seat in the back because we didn't have her car seat (they were reluctant to transport her at all) and she FREAKED OUT! (who can blame her). I didn't think we'd be able to get her in except (beautiful big sister that she is) when I explained that she needed to be back there to watch over Coben for me since I had to ride in the front. The kind medics gave her a stuffed animal to love on while we rode over. So, we are riding in this big tank of a mountain medic vehicle during a white-out winter storm. The truck is sliding around and having trouble getting started from a stop and we could MAYBE see only about a foot in front of us. It was a scary ride to the hospital which was in the next town over. Meanwhile, I'm trying to see what they are doing to Coben and I can't see a thing except they are crowded around him and doing stuff. I later learned that they couldn't even arouse Coben during a needle stick.
We get to the hospital and get him in a room. The nurses and the Dr. that we worked with were AWESOME. They were really kind to us and took great care of not only the patient but his worried parents (Rob was arriving soon, he had a long drive down from the mountain and no idea where the hospital was). The Dr. explained that they needed to rule out several things. Coben was raspy so they wanted to rule out infant pneumonia. They had to rule out head trauma. I'm embarrassed and totally ashamed to admit that he rolled off the couch the previous day on my watch. Yes, it only takes a second. And the worst case scenario is that they would do a spinal tap to rule out spinal meningitis. They did a CAT scan chest x-rays and both looked good, yay! No head injury or pneumonia. They catheterized him and took a urine sample. They poked just about every place on his little body (including the top of his head) to try and find a vein on his little roly-poly body that they could hit. The poor kid had band-aids and poke-marks everywhere and they STILL couldn't get blood from him. He was attached to monitors and oxygen the entire time. Finally, the Dr. informed us that they did in fact need to do a spinal tap to rule out spinal meningitis. So, five hours later they had ruled out everything and were still unsure of the cause of his strange behavior. They wanted us to get back to Denver ASAP though which we had already decided we were going to do. They took Mr. Butters off of oxygen and realized that he could not be taken off of oxygen without his saturation dipping below an unsafe level so we had to purchase an oxygen tank to get him down the mountain. We finally checked out five hours later and headed down the mountain only to run into a closed I-70 due to an accident. We were SO lucky that we were in the perfect spot to jump onto the frontage road and we avoided it all and got to town in a reasonable time. I cannot imagine being stuck for hours trying to get a baby on oxygen to Children's Hospital.
Anyhow, we got to Chilren's and they took another history. They looked at his CATscan, X-ray, Bloodwork and decided to take him off of oxygen and watch his levels. His levels stayed consistent during the three hours that we were there so we were given the option of leaving him for overnight observation but their recommendation (if we were comfortable) was to send him home and follow-up on Monday. They were unable to provide any answers for what had happend up on the mountain. Even though he was at a higher altitute up on the mountain his symptoms weren't quite consistent with "altitude sickness" He didn't turn blue around the mouth, his heart rate did not elevate and the fact that he was completely limp doesn't fit. I would love for them to say that it was altitude because then I would know that we were safe at home at 5280 feet and have nothing to worry about. How the heck are we ever going to sleep again? Even with him sleeping in our room, even if he's in our bed, turning white and going limp and losing oxygen are not things that cause you to wake up. And even if we wake up every hour, that gives him the potential to have an hour to go without oxygen. I've never been so happy to be home again with my family. I hope Monday finds more answers.

Random Tidbits

2009-04-01T14:14:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I get lost when I'm driving. Sometimes it's me and sometimes it's mapquest. Okay, most of the time it's me. Cady's new thing, anytime we are in unfamiliar territory or I'm circling around looking for parking is: "Mommy, are you lost again? Do you need to call daddy for directions?"

And she's good for the mommy brain. Our first snow in a long time was last week. As I was dropping Cady off at school she asked:

Cady: Mom, did you bring my snowsuit?
Me: Yes
Cady: My boots?
Me: Yes
Cady: How about my gloves and hat?

And this was followed the next day by this inquiry as we were all loading up in the car.
Cady: Mom and Dad, Did you get Coben's diapers and wipes?

It appears that the kid realizes just how much help we need in our newborn fog. After all, we did forget diapers for Coben's first pediatrician appointment and had to ask the P.A. if they had a diaper on hand for us to have. And her response was, "It's okay. First time parents?" Aghhh. It was doubly embarrassing to answer that question.

Last night:

Rob was taking care of Coben in the office while Cady was eating dinner. Coben was letting out some good cries.
Cady: Hey Dad? Rooooob! You should try singing to Coben!

Here's something interesting. Cady has a song. Annie's Song by John Denver is Cady's song. The first time I realized this was when she was just over a year old. We were at the grocery store and the song came on. I could barely hear it and hadn't noticed until Cady stopped talking, got a look of wonderment on her face and said, "Mom!! It's my song!" And the other night I was flipping the tv and a John Denver special was on (okay, so what if I did stop and watch for a minute?) and he just happened to be singing Annie's Song. Again, Cady very excitedly started whapping me in the arm and yelling, "Mom, mom! It's my song!!!" I'm not sure what her connection is to that song, but it's clearly HER song!

And finally, she also has a tv show. She has declared that Good Eats (which she calls the Alton Brown show) is HER show. Good girl!

A camping we will go!

2009-03-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our first camp-out. Well sort of. We camped out in the living room. I bought some supplies earlier in the day. Supplies for S'mores, Popcorn, Frozen Pizza and Licorice. When Rob got home from work (much ealier than anticipated due to a burst sprinkler line) he pulled the sleeping bags and flashlight out of the garage. The most important part of the night was that there was to be no distractions. No cleaning, no computer, no phones.
At 6:00 we set up camp. Cady was about ready to come out of her skin she was so excited. We laid out the sleeping pads and the bags. I popped some pizza in the oven and Rob set-up the movie...Meet the Robinson's. I brought out Coben's Bassinet and we were ready to go.
I do not like Smores. I've always considered them highly overrated and NOT worth eating. Until last night that is. I discovered the secret of a good Smore. Low Fat graham crackers and EXTRA dark chocolate. The bittesweet chocolate and marshmallow combo is perfect. It makes a sickeningly sweet treat into a taste sensation!
Anyhow, back to camping.
I wish I could say more about the experience. I was alseep before the movie was over and before the corn was popped. Rob says it was 7:30. I do know that Cady, for the first time ever, didn't wear her pull-ups to bed and had a successful night. I do know that I started out on a sleeping pad buffering my aging hips from the wood floor but woke up with Coben on my pad and me on the floor. Lucky guy!

Unprompted

2009-03-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

Unprompted and out of the blue Cady goes into the hall closet and gets out the blank stationary. She informs me that she is making a card for Gigi..."to help her feel better."

Shortly into her card-making session she asks me, "Is it Gigi's arm that hurts?" and I told her, "No, it's her hip." Cady responds, "That's a bummer!" lol. She's quiet for a few moments and then asks...

"Is Mimi holding her hand?"

Awwwwwwwwww!

More Snowboarding

2009-03-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

I still have NO idea how snowboarding inspires these crazy outfit. This is Cady's latest. She walked out of her room dressed like this and once more announced, "I'm going snowboarding!" If snowboarding inspires outfits like this, I don't think she'll be snowboarding until she is college-aged! lol Another thing...no, she did not get into the St. Patty's Day Stout. She is wearing much too large rubber boots.

I showered while they slept

2009-03-17T10:06:00.001-07:00

The kids slept in today. I had to get in the shower so that I would be ready on time to get Cady to school. What to do? Let them sleep? I decided I would take a super-quick shower and hope that nobody woke up. When I got out of the shower, this is what I found:

Adding insult to injury

2009-03-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

Coben LOVES baths. He doesn't like "baby" baths. He likes to go into the bath with me and be submerged up to his neck. I suppose it feels a lot like home. So yesterday I brought him into the bath with me. Which naturally made Cady want to take a bath too. So there are thre of us crammed into our little tub and life is joyful until I hear Coben's stomach start to gurgle. I holler to Rob to come get him because he is probably going to poop. As soon as the words are out of my mouth I see a cloud of yellow shoot through the bathtub. Ick! So, I tell Cady to get up and I have Rob grab Coben. So, I'm sitting in poop water when Coben decides to hose me. Since Rob has him pointed right at me, I get a direct shot to the neck! Boys are fun.

Love

2009-03-13T19:12:00.001-07:00

I was cooking dinner and Cady had a sheet of paper in the living room and was pretending it was a book. Here is what I overheard.

"C-N-B-E spells Coben. Coben is my brother and he is beautiful. I love him so much. He wears blue a lot and is beautiful. I love him very much."

Sigh.

Randomness

2009-03-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

Coben has a cold. How unfair to not be even two weeks old and have a cold. Cady was well over a year old before she had her first virus. This development has made for some long nights since he has trouble breathing out of his nose and trying to nurse with a stuffy nose...oh man, unjust! I was passed out on the couch last night by 7:30 with Rob trying to get me up and get me to bed. Rob *did* save me last night (night 2, I had nothing left) by getting up and playing two hours of xbox with Coben while I had uninterupted sleep to refuel me for the rest of the night. I hate to brag, but I really do have the best husband.

Cady still continues to accept Coben. She gives him kisses and talks softly to him. She had her first day back to school yesterday which initially did not go well. She spent the better half of the morning protesting going to school. And when I dropped her off she clung to me and wouldn't let go. As I was trying to leave she sobbed, "Don't leave me mommy!" Mommy guilt. Especially since Coben gets to stay with us all day. Rob dropped her off this morning and said the same thing played out. On the upside, when we picked her up from school yesterday we brought Coben in to say hello. To see Cady all puffed up with pride while she showed off her new brother to her friends was priceless.

Rob and I went shopping yesterday and bought some supplies for the bunker (okay, so it's kind of how it feels right now). Coben was the recipient of a brand new outfit after having a HUGE blow-out in the food court. Rob took care of things in the family restroom while I did a mad mall dash looking for a store with newborn clothes. I'm happy to say that I found the CUTEST outfit for a grand total of 4.50. Go me~! I feel like I was on a game show!

Coben is two weeks old today. He had his two week check-up yesterday and it looks like we are growing another big one. He's gained over a pound since his last check-up eight days ago. Dr. Bacon says she expects 1/2 lb up to 1 lb a day. He is now in the 97th percentile. Cady was in the 95th percentile her entire infancy. Rob and I not only make beautiful babies but good eaters as well!

Interview with Cady

2009-03-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

I was tagged in facebook. Everytime I get tagged, I ignore it for a week, do it, then vow not to do anymore. Never happens. I feel guilty when I ignore tags. I'm probably the only person out there that can feel guilty about something as benign as ignoring a facebook tag that nobody will check-up on later anyhow. Here it is:

What Kids Say About MomShareShare
Yesterday at 5:22pm | Edit Note | Delete
The rules: Ask your kid these questions and then post their answers.

Interview with Cady, Sunday, March 8th:

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Thanks

2. What makes mom happy?
Doing a good job!

3. What makes mom sad?
Cinnamon Rolls (sooooo not true)

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Do something funny

5. What was your mom like as a child?
She went to the hospital

6. How old is your mom?
Um, 6.

7. How tall is your mom?
Big!

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Trivia! (OMG, How did she even know about this???)

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Goes to work

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
(scowls and puckers up her lips) for Cady.

11. What is your mom really good at?
Bowling (OMG, she is cracking me up!)

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Gymnastics (amazingly she is right!)

13. What does your mom do for a job?
She has M&M's to eat (I keep them on my desk for students so she must think this is what I do all day)

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
Macaroni (a little projection here I'm afraid)

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
I dunno

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Orange

17. What do you and your mom do together?
We paint

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Doing exercises (yeah, right)

19. How are you and your mom different?
We are white and green

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
She kisses and hugs

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Your husband

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
To the Chidren's Museum (more projection, lol)

One week pics...

2009-03-07T10:42:00.001-08:00

Day and Night

2009-03-06T10:12:00.000-08:00

I'm referring to Cady and Coben. It'll be interesting to see how Coben's personality develops, but as for right now, he is pretty opposite in every way than Cady at this age. For starters he sleeps. All day long. And most of the night. I had to ask the P.A. at our appointment on Wednesday if this was normal. We looked back at the log of Cady's first few days home and she was awake probably 16 hours a day (can't sleep when you are busy yelling at your parents). Coben is awake for probably 2 and that's only because he has to eat. I also remember sleepless nights with Cady. I remember Rob playing X-box in the living room with her all night long and driving around the lake for more than an hour trying to get her to sleep...only to get her home and have her wake up crying the second we turned off the light. Coben on the other hand only woke up once last night to eat and fell right back asleep. Or if he wakes up, he doesn't cry he just plays with his hands and experiments with the sounds coming out of his mouth.

Cady had a loud, intense, persistent, "you must figure out what I need immediately" cry. Coben's cry is more of a suggestion that we should be doing something to meet his needs. Cady just seemed to come out of the womb with this well-developed alertness and a frustration that her body could not meet that level of alertness. She was just ready to grab life by the horns and swing it around. Coben is more of a take things as they come kind of guy. We couldn't be luckier to have both little personalities. One to keep us on our toes and one to keep us sane.

Blog Name

2009-03-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that the blog is now nameless. A Day in the Life of Cady just isn't an appropriate title anymore. We are entertaining all suggestions for a new blog title, but in the meantime it shall remain nameless.

Birth Story...

2009-03-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

This is the story of Coben's birth. There is a lot of information here and maybe even too much in some places so read at your own risk. :)

Thursday morning (2/26) I left work early because I was contracting a lot AGAIN. And as soon as I got home the contractiosn stopped AGAIN. I was starting to wonder when I would know it was really time since i was experiencing so many fake-outs. Despite the contractions stopping, I must have known because I spent the rest of the day preparing. I picked Cady up from school and we went and bought some things that I was going to need for the hospital. Plus I painted my toenails and shaved my legs, not an everyday occurance when you are nine months pregnant.

Just before midnight my water broke. I woke up Rob and told him it was time to go to the hospital. We packed our bags and then deliberated about what to do with Cady. This was the scenario that I had feared the most...a middle of the night labor where we would have to wake Cady up and figure out where she should go. I imagine that the whole scenario is a little scary for a two year old WITHOUT being woken in the middle of the night and shuttled off somewhere. At 1 a.m. we dropped Cady off at our friend's house (Cady's best friend, Emma). It was agonizing. Cady lost it when it came time for me to leave. She started sobbing and saying she wanted to go with us and it practically tore my heart out. If not for Gretchen, Jerimy and Rob pushing me out the door we might have had another observer in the delivery room. By then the contractions were really starting to pick up and I couldn't even think straight. It was a relief to get a text message as we arrived at the hospital that said that Cady had calmed down and was doing well, but poor Gretchen and Jerimy, because both toddlers were up until 3 a.m. and then only slept until 6:30 that morning.

So, most of you know that I had had a full day of pretty strong contractions about three weeks back. The OB visit following that day confirmed that my body had made progess and was dilated at 2.75. Well, I had several nights of contractions after that and then Thursday some really intense contractions that sent me home from work. Well, I was really expecting good things until Nurse Cratchett (our first nurse) after ramming her hand up informed me that I was only 3 cm dilated! What???? And by then I was already having the really bad, brings tears to your eyes type of contractions. The only upside I could think about this news is that knowing I had a lot of progress to make before delivery I could only hope that it would mean a shift change from Nurse Cratchett. I mean, this woman was scary. I already described her non-gentle cervical check. She was the same way when inserting the catheter into the back of my hand, she kind of rammed it in and kept twisting it around until my hand was coated in blood and yet it still wasn't in. Additionally she had a poor bedside manner, was really disorganized and just really didn't seem to have a clue. I have many examples of things that happened that really made me fear having her as a nurse, but I'll move on for brevity sake.

So, Nurse Cratchett floods me with fluids (2 bags within a short time) and then informed me that my choices since I was still not progressing much were to 1) Go for another walk 2)Start pitocin and an epidural and 3) Keep waiting. I agreed to the Pitocin and an epidural. OMG, I have never ever ever in my life felt what I felt when he administered the epidural. It is NOT what I experienced last time. He told me I might feel shooting pain through my legs. What I felt was like 10,000 volts of electricity running through my left leg and I started screaming. I couldn't even help it and I am EXTREMELY private when I'm in pain. I'm not a grunter, groaner or yeller I just go inside. That just gives you an idea of how bad it was. I was screaming, "No, no! Stop, My leg! OMG!" It was the most intense thing I have ever felt and I was extremely embarrassed at my reaction which seemed to be coming from another person. It turned out to be the best epidural EVER. I could lay any which direction I wanted (last time I had to be flat on my back) and I could feel the pressure of the contractions without the pain.

After the epidural my blood pressure started crashing and I was nauseous, dizzy and weak. Rob was awesome helping me through this part. At one point I leaned up on my elbows to throw up into a bed pan and the crazy nurse actually had the nerve to tell me that I needed to lay down or I was going to make it worse. Hello, I'm throwing up! Anyhow, they shot me with epinephrine a few times and got it up to 90/40 which is where it stayed. Then shift change, thank god! I got the best nurse ever which just reaffirmed how little confidence I had in the one prior who by the way stopped me from progressing by completely shutting down my contractions by flooding me with all that fluid I mentioned that she gave me before the epidural. Yet, she never caught on that I wasn't having contractions. She would walk in every time and go, "huh, you are not getting any credit for your contractions" because she thought the monitor was positioned wrong. She's reposition it and leave again, come back and go through the whole routine again. HELLO, I'M NOT GETTING CREDIT BECAUSE YOU STOPPED ME FROM CONTRACTING!!! Anyhow, did I mention how much we LOVED our second L and D nurse? She was great and got things going. When she arrived she took charge and started to make things happen again. She upped my pitocin, took off the stupid pulse monitor that the other nurse had forgotten about and was preventing me from sleeping, and cleaned me up since the other nurse thought that it would be a good idea to give me an epidural without a urinary catheter.

Anyhow, neither Rob nor I slept at ALL that night and we hadn't eaten since 6:30 the night before. So by lunchtime the next day I was seriously questioning my ability to push when the time came. But my body took over when it came time at around 12:45. What a neat moment when you are waiting around for something to happen and you finally get that green flag. The words, "It's time to push" have to be some of the most beautiful words in the world. They encouraged us to do some practice pushes which I quickly stopped doing when Rob and I noticed that we were alone in the room because the Dr. and Nurse had run out to take care of something. But then they came back and it was game on. This time I kept the lowest amount of epidural even though I had the button to increase it. Rob watched me struggle with that decision. The contractions were really starting to hurt despite the epidural and I was a button away from not feeling again. I was scared out of my mind to feel, but also wanted to feel at the same time. I opted to be able to feel and I could feel EVERYTHING. I LOVED it!!! I could feel his head and knew how hard I needed to push. When he started to come out it was the coolest feeling ever to feel myself pushing him out, especially when I could tell that his shoulders were trying to come out. It took me only a handful of pushes and about 15 minutes to get him out from start to finish and thank god I got him out quick because he had the cord wrapped around his neck THREE times as well as his legs. It really saved him from being oxygen deprived. My big boy was 9 lbs and 20 1/2 inches and of course it was instant love. He is a quiet baby. His cry is quiet and he doesn't really use it! So far (knock on wood) he's one of those babies I've only heard about that cries when he needs something. You meet the need and voila, he stops crying. He is so mellow. Mostly he just likes to be held close and that satisfies him.

We stayed at the hospital for two nights after we had Coben. Cousin Starin (THANK GOD) stayed with Cady both of those nights which Cady was absolutely thrilled about. They had fun times together and Cady looked absolutely wiped out by the time we arrived home on Sunday.

It's now day 4 and Rob and I keep saying, "Did we just have a baby?" because for the most part it doesn't seem like he is even here. He sleeps the vast majority of the day and only hollers out at us if he needs something. Cady is the best big sister ever. She watches everything that we do with him and she is constantly bringing him things like a blanket or a pacifier. Rob being the best dad ever has really been great with giving her so much attention while I take care of Coben. She still climbs in bed with us sometime during the night but has an amazing ability to continue sleeping when Coben has a period of crying. I keep wondering if it is supposed to be this easy.

Daredevil

2009-02-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

I'm due March 6, my other friend is due March 7, and another friend is due March 9. We all have mutual friends so this morning they had a brunch for us.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch Rob decides to take Cady to the park. She climbs up onto the play structure. It's 7' high with a big pole they can slide down.(Penny and Starin, you know the spot!) Normally Cady yells at one of us to catch her. A couple of times she has caught us by surprise but we've been close enough to catch her. Today? Today, Rob is talking to another dad while she is playing. She doesn't tell him that she is going to jump. He's not even anywhere close to where she is at. She just decides that today she is going to make a 7' jump down BY HERSELF. Success! She lands on her feet and no broken bones. She startled herself and Rob said there were a few tears b/c she had and instant group of adults and kids running over to see if she was okay. Rob said all the big kids at the park were surrounding her Oooing and Awwwwing and saying things like "I wouldn't even jump from there" so unfortunately she got lots of positive reactions (great!) I'm soooooo glad I was not there! I might have gone into labor watching something like that!

Cady calls out the crop-duster

2009-02-14T22:04:00.000-08:00

The three of us went grocery shopping late this afternoon and ran into a cloud of stench. It seems as though one member of the couple ahead of us was crop-dusting (that's the term for passing gas, continuing to walk and leaving a trail of stench). When we initially walked into it, I made a comment like "Oh wow Rob, tell me that wasn't you!" to which Cady yells and no doubt the couple can hear her, "Ohhhhhh! Somebody farted. Daddy farted! Daddy did you fart?" and she continues to not let it go as the couple disappears from site and proceeds to the next aisle. Okay, that was semi-embarrassing.

Then we hit the next aisle and we have now caught up again to this couple. There's no smell this time, but Cady has positively identified them as Crop-Dusters and immediately YELLS, "Who farted? Somebody farted! P-U! Who fart-ed, who fart-ed?" Who knows if I even needed anything down that aisle because I am literally pushing my cart as if I am competing in a shopping cart derby to get the heck out of their ear shot. Rob's following me laughing and as soon as I round the corner Cady starts laughing because she knows that she has said something really clever and worth repeating. I'm laughing on the inside but horribly embarrassed at the same time.

I do have to admit that when we ran into the crop-dusters for the third time and once again had to endure a green cloud the entire length of that aisle I became far less concerned with Cady calling them out. Who does that????

I'm so proud of our big girl

2009-02-11T13:05:00.001-08:00

Cady has really handled things like a trooper. I'm just not as much fun as I used to be. I can't wrestle or jump around or do much of anything, at times I'm grouchy and often I'm just flat-out boring, yet she still adores me. That makes me one really lucky person.

We've had very little "potty training" around here. I had read that it's a developmental milestone, much the same as crawling is, and you can exhaust yourself trying to "train" them to use the potty or you can just sit back and wait until they are ready. We chose to do the latter and it paid off. Except for night time, Cady is in panties ALL THE TIME! She decided she was ready and she went for it. Initially it was just at home and she refused to go anywhere else and she refused to poop anywhere but a diaper. We praised her efforts when she used the potty and shrugged our shoulders and said, "maybe next time" when she didn't. Then this weekend she turned a corner and does it all on the big potty and beams at us and says, "are you proud of me?" Of course we are! She's not capable of holding it all night long but it doesn't stop her determination. She begs to sleep in plastic pants instead of a diaper and they always leak and she always wakes up in the middle of the night soaked, but it doesn't stop her from trying.

She is so proud of herself for being a "big girl" right now and she wears the title well. She has been a whole different kid since she has taken on that label for herself. They've noticed at school too how nurturing she has been to the younger kids. And not a day goes by that she doesn't talk about how she is going to take care of Coben. She often hugs, kisses and pats him as she passes me. And anytime I cough she asks with concern, "You have heartburns mom? I can make you feel better" and runs off to get my Tums out of the closet. She holds my hand through my OB appts and asks me, "does it hurt mom? or are you okay?" She has just really flourished lately. I make the mistake sometimes of calling her my sweet little girl and she puffs up and says, "I'm not a little girl mom, I'm a big girl." I have to go along with that, but in my eyes, and I'm sure in every parents eyes, no matter how big they get they are still your baby.

A tender mother daughter moment

2009-02-08T17:12:00.000-08:00

So, I woke up this morning having signs of labor. The contractions have been continuing throughout the day.

Cady actually took a nap today!! As she was sleeping and I was continuing to have contractions I thought, "I'd really love to just climb in bed with her and cuddle. If I have a baby today, there may not be many opportunities for moments like this."

So I go into her room, slide into bed next to her, pull the covers over us both. Cady eyes flutter open, she looks at me, and yells, "GET OUT MOM!"

LMAO...Gotta love toddlers!

Our snowboarding princess

2009-01-24T18:52:00.000-08:00

Cady came out dressed like she is in the video and this is her tale of why she is dressed this way. Note, she really has no clue about snowboarding. Rob hasn't been at all this season and if anything she might have heard one conversation about it..as in, "Have you been boarding yet?"

It's very typical of me to take a video going the wrong direction. Not sure how to fix it.

Good news

2009-01-22T20:08:00.000-08:00

The fact that Cady isn't really into books and doesn't sit still to be read to was a topic of conversation over the holidays. We are happy to announce that we now have a bookie. Cady turned a corner and now loves to be read to before bed. Three books, minimum!

Master Negotiator

2009-01-21T07:48:00.000-08:00

Cady just went pee on her potty like she does everyday but today she wanted M&M's. Our system is that she gets one sticker on her chart everytime she goes. If she fills all the boxes on the chart she gets to pick a big candy from her Halloween Candy. She gets M&M's for poops since she is having problems with that.

But today after she peed she came into me and said she wanted M&M's. I told her we don't get M&M's for pees but I'd be happy to help her with the stickers. She said, "Yeah, but on John and Kate she gives M&M's for pees". I told Cady that when she was really little she got M&M's for pees too but now she gets stickers for pees, M&M's for poops and a big candy for getting all of her stickers.

Cady says, "What I get for farts?" [:|]

Growin' a big one!

2009-01-12T10:17:00.001-08:00

That's what the Dr. told me when she measured me today. She's not one to overexaggerate since she told me Cady measured on the small side but she was just a few ounces bigger than average. I'm not doubting her at all since at 32 weeks Coben is OUT OF SPACE and I often have to push his little body parts back in as he stretches out and just stays that way leaving little nodules on my belly.

So, I'm really hoping the past two Dr. visits are not foreshadowing Coben's birthdate. There are not many days in Colorado where it's hard to drive around but there have been two days this Winter. Both days were the days of my prenatal visit. Today and last month. The roads were super-slick and difficult to drive. In fact, last month Cady and I slid right through a red-light. Scary! IT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY IF COBEN DECIDED TO COME DURING A SNOW-IN!

I've been having lots of contractions lately. It's frustrating to me because it's just about every time I get up to do something. Walking down the hallway at work sets them off, going to the grocery store sets them off, standing up sets them off. I have eight weeks left and at this rate I'm going to be one flaccid vessel of jelly if I can't get up and get moving. Besides that, Rob turns about 10 shades of white everytime I start getting some painful contractions. Rob, who never barks, actually barks, "Sit down! We are NOT having this baby early!" So, I finally have figured out that there IS something that rattles Rob (other than those random really rotten Cady days).

I'm starting iron pills today. I've had low iron for a month but just today the Dr. decides that "We should have had you on iron pills from the get-go! We're risking a transfusion at delivery here!" Well, thank you very much, I don't think it was my call! I'm excited though because I have high hopes that this means I will be able to lift my arms above waist level without having to sit down and rest.

So, all is well in baby land! I didn't realize how easy I had it with Cady. I don't remember being in any hurry for her to come and I feel like I could have carried her forever...(well, until my due date passed then I was questioning). I earned myself bad pregnancy Karma by thinking that all the pregnancy complainers surrounding me were just complaining because they could...I didn't know that they actually felt this way. Now I wonder, "Am I really going to make it another 8 weeks?"

New Outfit from Aunt Sophie and Uncle Chris

2009-01-07T07:39:00.001-08:00