Saturday, August 23, 2008

Preschool Drop-out!

This is a long update about Cady's "school."
After her "okay" day on Friday, Cady spent nearly the entire weekend talking about how she did not want to go back to school. It started to make me question, "how do you know what is considered 'normal' difficulty adjusting versus when there are genuine concerns.
On Wednesday (her first day) she told me in the bedroom when I asked about her teacher, "black lady mean". I didn't think too much of it, but definitely took note. There is a teacher (supposedly not HER teacher) who is African-American that was in her room that day when I picked her up, but we've never labeled people by black or white so it was surprising to even hear her reference someone as a black lady.

Anyhow, her ramblings about not wanting to go back to school, along with the thought that Cady has never had difficulty adjusting to new people or settings, along with the fact that she never talks about her teacher (she talks about ALL adults that she meets non-stop), along with the fact that there were things we were told by the center that were already proving to be not true (we'll only start potty training if you tell us she's ready, making it look as though she was with a class of 6 when she was in a class of 12 when we picked her up, etc..)makes it really hard to push her to get through the adjustment period if we are not 100% certain certain ourselves that things are as they should be. Even if there was nothing fundamentally wrong with the program, Cady just seems a bit overwhelmed by the institutional setting...and she's only two so there's nothing wrong with that!

SO, based on those concerns and many conversations with Rob, we decided to look into a home-based daycare in our neighborhood. The woman who runs it is a licensed educator with an endorsement in Early Childhood Education. She has taught Kindergarten the past four years. The smaller setting (max of 5 kids) and being in someone's home all sounded like something that might work better for Cady. I had previously attended an open-house at her house to learn about the program because you never know when you need a back-up. So, we paid a 200.00 non-refundable deposit and she'll be starting on September 3rd. Naturally, in true Paula style I started second-guessing myself as soon as she was accepted. Should we ride it out at the other place? Maybe she will adjust. Why put her through a new adjustment? And the fact is that we would have to have her there two more weeks anyhow while waiting for the new place to open.

Those thoughts evaporated quickly when Rob called me on Wednesday morning. When Cady woke up this morning and saw that I wasn't at home she started SCREAMING and CRYING about not going to school. I was with students so I only got messages with Rob calling and saying, "I don't know what to do P, she is totally freaking out, I''ve never seen her like this." He said he couldn't console her and he could not get her into the car at all.

I called back and talked to Cady who informed me that "I cry mommy. I was freaking out!" LOL She then told me, "mamma, the teacher scary, I no go to school." Holy crap if my heart wasn't about ready to explode knowing that she was that upset about it and to hear her make yet another negative statement about the teacher. When toddlers have themes in their discussions it's something to listen to. Rob decided to call the school and stay home with her. We have to suck it up as far as forfeiting the days that we already paid for over the next two weeks, not to mention find someone to help us out over the next two weeks. I think it was a good decision though. Cady's a perceptive little thing and picks up on a lot of underlying stuff. I think we'd be fools to not listen to that!

1 comment:

KMK said...

Sounds like a very good decision.